We have gone through this with my ss. He is thin as a rail also, he would pick at meals and sneak snacks into his room in the middle of the night!

We have had to force him to eat all his meals and we grounded him from any snacks (besides fruit in between meals) for weeks. We have hidden snacks. We have talked to him, yelled at him, and grounded him from video games for sneaking snacks.

It has finally stopped. But it was a miserable process!! I posted on here about it too and lots of people suggested buying no snacks for our house, but I just did not find that idea reasonable for our family. It probably would have made things easier though!

My suggestion is putting a lock on the pantry door.

He's 16. Have him get a part time/summer job & buy his own snacks. With a lot of kids, it might be more fair to buy containers... I use mini stackable bins. When you buy boxed snacks... divy them up. When their bin is empty,, they are done. That is the fair way but when my boys were teens... one was thin, the other not... it was tough. The thin one had a better metabolism & was more active... and probably needed more calories too because he burned more off.

But, 16 is a good age to give him some personal responsibility... he can make a little spending money by mowing lawns or a part time job.

--"He's 16. Have him get a part time/summer job & buy his own snacks"--

LOL. That's exactly waht I thought. My own youngest son worked fulltime from 16 on. You can't treat a 16 yr old like a young child or even like he were 12ish.

However, one dish found in room would be a violation of house rules. Seriously, at 16 wrappers are a childish no-no. Dirty dishes in bedroom, again childish no-no. If the kid wants special treatment (he's older and you can't treat a 16 yt old like the 10 yr old) than it's time he act his age. If he wants to treat his parent/SF with disrespect, nope, no snacks in room. If he wants to treat his parent/SF with the respect that goes along with being older and abides house rules and special privileges, rethink the 'no bedroom rule' for him.

My at time 16 yr old would always bring down any dishes and also all garbage. He might get away with leaving a granola bar wrapper in trash can for a few days (when he normally would empty it) but he never tossed banana peels, orange peels, half eaten slices of pizza blah blah in there.

By the time my youngest son was 18 he had his own section of the fridge and his own section in freezer. I have not purchased groceries for him since about the time he started working. He of course could eat what I did have or what we were eating but he preferred buying his own. He would keep his non-perishables in a tote in his room. He was not allowed to eat snacks in front of younger daughter. If he did he had to share with her. If he brought home a pizza take-out at 9pm in evening to eat while he watched tv in his room he had several 'rules' 1)must eat at desk in room 2)bring down any wrappers/dishes 3) cut off a tiny slice if DD was still up to 'share' a bite with her. (A tiny bite would be enough, she was not hungry or needing a snack anyway)

He also did not like the diet soda so if he bought in cases of pop, those too had to be in his room. If he drank soda downstairs when daughter was home he had to drink my soda in front of her.

Have SF sit him down guy to guy and talk about getting older, being treated a bit 'older' than the other kids, house rules, and coming to agreements on what and how it could/would mean. Abuses result back to being treated like the younger children. Let the two of them work it out...SF won't be the 'Mom' harping at kid, it'll be two guys coming to terms on how 'guys' act when they act to mature and the privileges that can mean (or not if they still act like little boys).

I think sometimes it's too easy to forget that our children are growing up when we have a house full of kids, especially younger kids with different ages.

I'd LOVE to put a lock on my pantry door... my dh has a disorder that makes him sleep eat. Anyway, I like the idea of bins and separating the snacks.

He just got a temporary job last week. It was 2 days last week and 3 this week. (He officially turned 16 on the 4th of July) He has already applied online at a few places but it takes a little bit of time. We told him he had to get a job because I am not going to continue to pay for his cell phone now (I'll give him a few months).... just a way to show him some responsibility. I also refuse to buy him a car, so he'll have to save for that.

I also like the idea of him and my dh sitting down and chatting, though my dh is a stubborn mule sometimes and I don't know if he'll do it or not. We will see. Thanks for the suggestions everyone!