Well, did she take anything that belonged to YOU specifically? Anything you brought to the house or bought since you moved in? Or just items that belonged to her family?

My children have the right to enter my/their house at any time, whenever they want, for their entire lives.

"My children have the right to enter my/their house at any time, whenever they want, for their entire lives."

Mine don't. Entering our house is a privilege, not a right. Taking things that don't belong to you without asking is theft, pure and simple. Yes, they are most certainly welcome to their things, but I do think that they need to ask before taking mine or my husband's. Neither of us would begrudge them taking anything, but the simple courtesy of asking for permission is certainly reasonable.

When they get their own house and have their own stuff, I'll be asking THEM for permission, too....LOL

As far as the OP's husband goes, I'd be furious that he didn't address that more sternly. We're all entitled to our privacy and the security of our property.

Well, tos, let's hope your children don't drive up with a moving van one day when you're out.
My daughter has keys to my home, and I have keys to hers. But neither of us would dream of just letting herself in and helping herself to whatever she fancied, whether it was a family item or whatever. Common courtesy is contacting the other person beforehand and asking if it's OK. And yes, each of us has been in the other's home many times when the owner was out, always by prior arrangement. I have keys to my family home (now occupied by my widowed stepfather) and I wouldn't dream of just wandering in when he was out, much less helping myself to anything in it, even though I actually inherited the house and its contents on my mother's death four years ago. How rude.

I am confused. Was the house that she entered lived in by her mother and your DH?

She went there with bad intentions. She knew they weren't going to be there didn't call to say, hey I am going to go to your house. I am guessing she doesn't have a key to get in. So how was she going to get in the house? break in!!

She was up to no good. Hubby will have to confront her at some point or let it go...until another incident happens.
Just keep your doors locked (or change the locks) don't tell her of any plans you have to be away from home.

My kids don't have to tell me if they are coming home, and they are welcome to let themselves in. They wouldn't take anything that I was currently using, but this woman can't ask her mother if it is ok, because she is dead.

That's not fair...you're comparing apples to oranges. As its been pointed out so frequently a stepmother is not the mom. What works great in your house, mother/child relationship, may not work the same in a stepmom/stepchild relationship. This has been hammered home to all stepmom's on this forum over and over again.

The child in question is a 32 year old woman. If she wanted something from her father and stepmother's home, she should have asked her father for it. If she feels the relationship with her dad is good enough that she can visit his home when he isn't there then she should be just as comfortable asking outright for something of her mother's.

First of all. No she is not allowed to enter our home if we are not here. She has taken many things from this house in the past when her mother was alive. The day she passed away she took her mother diamond engagement ring and took the diamond out of the setting and pawned it. On many ocassions she would take things from the house and ask a neighbor to hold them for her. The neighbor would bring them back and give them to my husband. This is also a person that when I met her in her home state I was told by 3 different people to make sure my purse was locked in the trunk of the car because she would help herself to it. This the house that she shared with her mother and stepfather when she was younger but if she can not respect things and leave them alone until her stepfather is ready to give them to her than she is not allowed in the house alone. All the other kids and stepkids are welcome in the house any time.

The major point here is she drove 8 hours here when she knew we where in MS paying respect to her mother when she could have drove 4 hours to MS herself and done the same. But she came here with intentions to take what she wanted out of the house and make it look like a robbery. No she did not have key to the house but she knew where the spare key was kept.

Possilbly 32 years old mom promised her that certain things would be hers when she died?

Is there a will or a disposition of personal effects?

There is no Will and nothing was said to my husband while she was sick. He would have granted all her wishes. Since there was no will everything becomes his and he has in his Will that she will get these angels she wants so badly. What is being overlooked she has a drug problem, lived in many places, been arrested many times and stole from my husband before. 2 of her arrest where for theft. Asking her stepfather to borrow a large sum of money telling him she would pay him back than saying when she got the money thanks for the gift. When she knows he did not have that kind of money to lend her. Also the fact that she came to our home knowing we where 12 hours away with the intent to her herself to whatever she wanted. She has stole from the house many times even when her mother was alive. I am trying to understand my husbands forgivness when I dont see a reason to forgive her for this. Everyone who knows her and knows of this story agress that this was a planned thing on her part and she would not have stopped at just taking these angels from the house. I could careless about the angels but they have meaning to my husband and I feel that he should not give them away until he is ready. She will get them but she has to show that they will be taken care of. Why give thousands of dollars of angels to someone that can not take care of them, and they end up broke, pawned or whatever else could happen to them. At that time she will only want something else that belonged to her monther.

I think this helps see me the big picture.

I completely understand your position, however, I hope you can also see the position that your husband is in. He has assumed the responsibility of being her father. He is trying to be a good dad and not turn his back on his child (stepdaughter or not). It is obvious that she has issues (not to mention the death of her mother, despite her apparent disregard). I don't think it's a good idea to forget about the seriousness of the probability that she was going to steal from you but what kind of father would he be if he didn't try to forgive his child? If he were to follow through and tell her that she is not allowed to visit him when he's not home, changes the locks (and find a different spot to hide your extra key), would you feel better? At the moment he's stuck between a rock and a hard place, you and his daughter. Perhaps he may let the issue slide (for the sake of his daughter) but will take future steps to assure you of security...