in my opinion, the speech the father of the bride should make is personal and from his heart, not something pre-fabbed. others might have a different opinion. i could see getting a little help with wording, grammar and punctuation and/or delivery, but the dad raised or participated in her life and would best know her - talk about her being a little girl, growing into a woman, funny story or two inbetween that and then something about accepting the new son in law. if someone were to write a father's speech, what significance would it really have to the daughter on her special day?

again, my opinion.

Ah Yes, I remember my father's words as he walked me down the aisle in 1981: Don't tug on superman's cape.... DOn't spit into the wind.. I can't listen to that song now without laughing. That's just my dad (gotta luv him!)

I agree with earthlydelights. No one can write anything that would mean as much as what Dad says from the heart.

I do know that some people are terrified of giving speeches, and I suppose some family situations are delicate, which makes it harder to write a speech or toast sometimes. So here is some general advice:

Keep it short. A minute or two -- say, 2/3 of a page, double spaced -- is really more than you would imagine. It's not like it's a now-or-never opportunity to say every single thing you feel. Maybe tell one sweet story from her childhood and what it means to you, or a more recent story such as how you knew she was in love with this guy. Welcome him to the family, say how much you like his family and how glad you are to be joining together, thank everyone for coming, tell the couple and your wife that you love them, and that's plenty. And do WRITE IT OUT! You don't have to read it -- in fact, it's better if you just refer to the paper to keep yourself on track and don't worry about saying the exact words on the paper -- but if you don't write it out ahead of time, you run the risk of rambling. I would also avoid the cliched father-of-the-bride jokes about all the bills.

Does any of that help?

Congratulations!

I agree with the above posts. The speech should have personal meaning to the bride and those that hear it should know that it came from your heart.

My husband is painfully shy, so I made the speech at our daughter's wedding. It's the 21st century, after all!

Of course, elisamcs! I didn't even think he meant INSTEAD of the mom. I always see both parents stand together for toasts, and sometimes they both speak (usually only one at any length) and sometimes just one. But unless there were a divorce, it would unusual in our community to see the father stand up alone.

My husband is also very "shy", so I plan on making the speech when my daughters marries in July.

Maybe it is a regional thing, but I have never been to a wedding where a parent gave a speech. Best man and maid of honor, yes. A blessing, yes. One or two (out of maybe 50 weddings) "thank you"s from a bride or groom. But never a parent.

I've never heard of a speech by a father of the bride either. But I guess I'd better find out - that's a role I will be stepping into sometime in the fall of '08; my oldest daughter got engaged last Friday.

Exactly when does the speech take place? I was a best man once and gave the customary toast. That turned out OK, but I'd appreciate some details on the FOTB speech.

BTW I've even agreed to take dance lessons, at the request of my daughter, for our dance together. You don't know me but if you did the fact that I did agree would tell you how much I love her; I HATE to do it!!!

Thanks in advance for your replies.

Speeches or toasts by the fathers are optional. Some men like to speak and want to make one; others prefer not to. The father of the groom often makes a toast at the rehearsal dinner rather than at the reception. I always ask the fathers if they would like to make one and give them the opportunity to decline.

If a father or mother wants to make a toast, they usually do it after the best man and MOH. They usually thank the guests for coming, then say something about the bride and the groom.

If the bride's parents are the hosts for the reception, I can see the father of the bride thanking everyone for coming to this special day to join their family in celebration. Then I see some loving comments about the bride, hopefully including a cute story about her or something about how the parents knew this was a special young man in her life. Then a comment to welcome to the fine young man she is marrying and his family joining with yours should cover it all, and very briefly so.

when my sister married, my father prepare the speech carefully and practice again and again.

No matter what your father says, its all love! So don't worry!