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Bride won't introduce mother to fiance until just before wedding

17 years ago

My sister is getting married in June and has yet to introduce our mother to her fiance. They live in different states and she claims not to have the time or money to travel, yet my mother has offered to travel to her city to meet the fiance, help with wedding planning, etc. My sister tells her that she has everything under control and that there is no need to visit. She is clearly ashamed of my mother (who unlike our stepmother and the other bridesmaids is neither anorexic, nor a Republican religious zealot like the fiance), whom she claims causes too much "drama" and is a "f... up." Meanwhile, she is planning several trips to see our father's side of the family. (They're paying for the wedding.) I am the maid of honor and this whole situation has me wanting to back out. I am embarrassed for my mother and angry at my sister. My mother flies in at midnight a few days before the wedding, and they have already told her they won't have time to pick her up and that she can take a taxi. They have planned nothing with her during the time she will be there. I have tried to bring this up with my sister, who flies off the handle as soon as I mention it, and screeches out the old chestnut, "This is myyyy wedding!" I feel she is trying to pretend to be something she is not, and that she wants her fiance to think her family only consists of these superficial plastic people. She won't introduce him to our mom until days before the wedding I assume in case he gets cold feet after meeting her, but if their relationship is so shallow what is she doing marrying him? My mom looks like the 60-year-old woman she is, while the stepmother is a plastic surgery addict who dresses like a 16-year-old. Is there a diplomatic way to discuss this with my sister? Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? Thank you.

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