Feeling left-out

18 years ago

My SD is graduating from middle school tomorrow and they are having a ceremony at the school. A few weeks ago DH said that SD said she could only get two tickets one for him and one for her mom. I was fine with that, I am very supportive of him being invovled in SD's life. Then I get a call from DH's mother(grandma) she wants to know what time we are leaving tomorrow for the graduation ceremony. I don't care so much that I was not offered the ticket, I would have suggested grandma go instead. I would just like the courtesy of knowing what is going on. This is not the first time something like this has happened. I am constantly the last one to be informed about things that are going on with SD. It really bothers me. My DH and I have been married for 7 years and I have an OK relationship with SD. My husband works a lot so I am the one who is caring for her most of the time when she is here. Am I asking to much to be kept informed of things that are going on? I feel like the only person in the room that doesn't know something.

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Comments (3)

pseudo_mom
18 years ago
Did grandma get a ticket or if she's like my MIL she will go and say to heck with them ... "what are they going to do throw me out?!"

And I hope you are thinking its on hubby to inform you not everyone else ... because its on him to keep you informed.

I used to "drill" hubby about how many times BM called today what did she say etc... now I don't care ... if he doesn't tell me I need to do something for the kids thats on him ... BM has been told a million times not to call him at work about stuff because he doesn't write it down or even remember anything she says to him unless I ask him what was said ... so I stopped asking and he started telling her to call when he was home from work so he could check with me and write it down at the same time. After a few mix-ups between them and children appts were missed and stuff was forgotten.
momof3plus
18 years ago
Hi I know how you feel, my bf's daughter (we've been together 4 years) is graduating from high school this week and I overheard my bf talking to BM on the phone that he wants to dj her graduation party. It made me feel bad that he didn't say anything to me about it first and he was discussing plans with his ex. I've told him in the past that things would help between us if he let me know what was going on, but he doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Then I think of the times when I call my own kids dad to discuss things that I don't tell bf first, so that helps. But it would have been nice to feel like I was important enough to know.
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ashley1979
18 years ago
I think this is a very common problem in step-families. I unknowingly do it to my BF and he does it to me (quite often, actually). What happens is I actually have to change my plans because I find out something at the last minute. It's definitely not ideal. Just know that you're not the only one and that there are alot of us SMs and FSMs and GFs of bio-dads out there that love our SC and want to be there for them just like it seems from this post that you do.

Feeling left-out

Comments (3)

pseudo_mom

momof3plus

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