So at long last I have an update. I did try on quite a few- and ended up with 3 finalists. I anguish over most decisions, this one included. The original one, I tried on again and didn't love it as much and also realized that while I could wear a strapless bra if I were perhaps a guest, as mother of the bride who wants to dance and go crazy, that was not an option. I spent m time at the stores, and also ordered quite a few (at the end, I was ordering dresses in 2 sizes because you never know. ( I don't know how the picture will show up but I got this dress in navy and I love it. It is understated but has some bling, is long but not sweeping the floor, very flattering on and-------has a short sleeve bolero jacket for coverage but looks good without It as well. I actually took it to a tailor today to tweak it. It covers me fine, but she will raise the straps a tad and also ensure that the bra straps are totally covered. I am very excited and cannot wait to wear it. and----it's comfy!!! Now for shoes. I know I want strappy, and am looking for super comfy but of course pretty. I think a wedge could work since it is a garden wedding......... but yay I have a dress!! Here is a link that might be useful: prettiness

Wow! My sympathies to you. What a mess. Listen, you are taking on too much responsibility for your sister's behavior and her relationship with Mom. I don't think there is any "diplomatic way to discuss this" with her, because there isn't a thing you could say to her that she would hear. She has made up her mind to try to hide her mom and excuses her cruelty because it is Her Wedding -- believe me, you can't fight that kind of tsunami, and it isn't your responsibility to do it. She will ruin or strenghthen her family relationships as she will, and if you try to interfere, no matter how good your intentions, everyone will end up mad at YOU. It just always seems to happen. It's really hard to stay out of it, but it's worth it. Instead, I would focus on what you can do directly to help your MOM feel better. I know you will be busy, but maybe you can keep your eyes open for opportunities to drive her, spend time with her, keep her up to date on fun things about the wedding (if that would make her feel good, not bad), etc. I would definitely stay away from language like "zealot," "anorexic," "plastic surgery addict," etc. The last thing your family needs is more drama and bile. Good luck to all of you.

I completely agree with Talley Sue -- just something that won't clash or look too "look-at-me!" flashy up there (e.g., cut down-to-there with big polka dots or stripes). When I got married, my mother-in-law just couldn't or wouldn't catch on to this. The attendants were wearing a sort of cherry pink/red. No matter how many times anyone told her to where whatever color she wanted (my mom's dress was a very soft rose) she went so crazy trying to match the attendants' dresses EXACTLY that she even sent me a swatch. Then she obsessed over whether it was okay that her dress had a turquoise sash, whether it was inappropriate that there was white lace on the top, whether the fabric should be the same as my mom's dress -- etc. I think we goofed by trying to reassure her that it didn't matter, she should just choose something she loved, because I see now that she needed to feel like it WAS important what she wore. jmca, I think you are doing exactly the right thing. Beige will be perfect, neither clashing with their (very refreshing) color scheme nor looking like you are trying to be a bridesmaid. If you look great in that outfit and love it, that's the one! Congratulations to you all -- and to you, too, ogoopogo! What an exciting year!

I've never heard of a speech by a father of the bride either. But I guess I'd better find out - that's a role I will be stepping into sometime in the fall of '08; my oldest daughter got engaged last Friday. Exactly when does the speech take place? I was a best man once and gave the customary toast. That turned out OK, but I'd appreciate some details on the FOTB speech. BTW I've even agreed to take dance lessons, at the request of my daughter, for our dance together. You don't know me but if you did the fact that I did agree would tell you how much I love her; I HATE to do it!!! Thanks in advance for your replies.