I am a teacher. In my district if a student is getting a D or F in my class I MUST notify the parents. I always call and then let them know I will be sending a note home for them to sign. That way I have a documented phone call as well as a signed paper from them. This lets them know there is an issue and covers my butt from the same questions you have.

If I have students who are getting c's and d's I always look at their previous years records to see how they were doing. If it has been an ongoing thing I talk to the special ed department. If it is a new thing I start by talking to the parents and saying I noticed the drop, we need to work together to help.

I agree that you should be upset. You asked for help , the principal agreed to it and then let you down. The teacher did not keep you posted on your sd's lowering grades. I would talk to the principal about this and see what can be done to help your sd start out the next school year with some extra help. Most principals want to help children and keep the parents happy.

You are right they did fail her. You specifically asked to have her tested for learning disabilities and by law they should have done so.

My sis went through a lot of this with her DS, I can't remember the term but if you put in writing you are formally requesting she be evaluated for learning disabilities they have do do it in a relatively short time frame..maybe someone else here can remember the term for it..

Can you change schools?

HWT - This is unacceptable!
There is NO REASON that the school and the teachers should be labeling your SD as a kid who can't behave!
IMO, you need an urgent and immediate meeting with the school (principal and vice principal, this year's teacher and maybe next year's teacher) to deal with this. You need to find out WHY her teacher didn't notify you about her slipping grades. WHY the teacher didn't work on SD's perceived behavioral problems. WHY SD wasn't switched out of that classroom (if your school has to sections for each grade). And, MOST IMPORTANTLY, make it very clear that this WILL NOT be tolerated next year. Make it clear that you guys are willing to do whatever it takes to help SD succeed, and the sole onus isn't on the school, but that the school has to provide a supportive atmosphere and not label SD as a monster.
Be firm, but nice, unless you have to get your back up. You catch more flies with honey, but if you have to get out the swatter, so be it.

I can't say that I blame SD for not succeeding in school if she had a teacher who thought she was rotten. When I was in grade ten, I had some health problems and missed three weeks of school. My English teacher decided this was because I was a bad kid and treated me like one. Needless to say, my grades in that class sucked. I didn't bother to do my work well, since she would give me a bad mark anyhow. My assignment could be the first one in the box, and she would still single me out in front of everyone "Ceph, I assume your assignment will be late?" because while I was sick, all my assignments were late (since I was only awake about 6 hours a day, and the school had given me an extension for all my deadlines, provided I got them done eventually)... Anyhow, I can't say that I blame your SD for not getting good grades in a classroom where she is disliked! Try not be upset with her for this.

We were upset with the grades. We were upset that sd has misbehaved at school. But, we do not completely hold her accountable for her low grades. She is actually being a lot harder on herself than we are. We told her that her grades partially reflect the way she behaved and partially reflect and unfair teacher. We talked with her about ways she could get off on the right foot next year with her teacher. And we tried to build up her self esteem. She cried over her reportcard and told us how stupid she feels. We told her she is very intelligent and should not feel this way. I then sent a long e-mail to the principal last night, which I am hoping to get a response on Monday for. I am going to post it here so you all can give me some feedback on what I wrote:

Hello,
We received ------'s reportcard today and were very upset. Her grades were at their lowest. We had no idea that she was getting a D in reading until we got this reportcard! Her grade was not that low at progress report time and we were never even notified that it had dropped to a D. What ever happened with having ------ evaluated in the classroom to see what the problem was? Before spring break I know you said that there was a schedule conflict, but what happened after that?
I would think after all the recesses she missed re-doing or finishing work that she would have done better at reportcard time. Besides the fact that even though we had e-mailed Mrs. ------- she never sent home the rest of her absent work or other work she said she would be sending home.
We wonder how this work affected her grades.
We are very dissatisfied at her classroom experiences this year. You have been a great help, but at the classroom level we feel that a lot more could have been done to help ------- succeed. She is very smart and does an amazing job reading and doing math at home. And we feel that if she would have had more positive attention from her teacher she would have done a lot better and would have kept her love for school. Instead we have a child that tells us how much she hates school and cried upon looking at her reportcard. She then began telling us how "stupid" she is and how she does not know anything. This year has been a huge hit on his self esteem. And no matter how much we have tried to build her up at home it does not seem to help since such a large portion of her day was spent at school, where she felt like a failure.

Sounds like the prinicipal won't even read the email. If you requested an evaluation and did not recieve it, write to Superintent. Contact a lawyer or legal aid. I know I sound harsh, but they have already wasted a year of your daughters life.

Here is some information on the law related to the federally required time frames for schools to respond to the request for evaluation:

http://idea.ed.gov/explore/view/p/%2Croot%2Cdynamic%2CTopicalBrief%2C4%2C

Many states have even more stringent requirements.

The principal e-mailed me back. Now she is telling me that the school social worker did evaluate my sd and decided that she is not in need of any special ed services. She says the social worker says that sd has trouble dealing with authority and talked back frequently. Principal suggests having sd talk to school social worker.

Now teacher is saying that sd frequently turned in homework that was not complete (though I checked it almost each night and made her fix mistakes!! so this can not be true). Teacher also said that sd would refuse to do work and just sit and do nothing frequently and that she was constantly arguing.

Funny how in Feb. I had pediatrician give me papers to evaluate sd for attention deficit disorders and I passed them along to teacher. Many of the questions related to organization and behavior. When this was filled out in Feb. the teacher did not note any serious daily issues as she is now claiming there were.

Makes me feel like she is trying to cover her butt now. Don't know what we can do.

Can you ask the teacher if she still has some of the incomplete assignments to show you?
Also, if this was a problem WHY WASN'T SHE TELLING YOU? It should have been called about, or a note sent home to be signed and returned, or written in her homework book!

This is the teacher trying to cover her butt and it's unacceptable! Remind the teacher of the papers in February and ask her what changed.

I agree with Ceph, but this reminder needs to happen in front of the principal or a school counselor who can attest to what takes place during the 'reminder.

There is no excuse for the behaviors she's speaking of to go unspoken of. Was nothing ever said at a conference? How can the teacher expect your help with a problem you don't know exists . . . ?

A social worker is not qualified to determine whether a child qualifies for special education. The child should have a complete evaluation, which includes, in addition to classroom assessment, an IQ test (given by someone trained to administer it), and evaluation by an SLP, possibly an OT and a PT. There are typically stacks and stacks of test results, and there needs to be a team meeting to discuss an IEP. The parent can file an appeal with the state if not happy with the quality of the eval - usually as soon as the school finds out that the parent is going to do that, they become considerably more cooperative.

"usually as soon as the school finds out that the parent is going to do that, they become considerably more cooperative."

Isn't is just so sad that this is what it takes to get the school on 'your side' . . . which is really just the side of the child? When do they stop covering their butts and just go the extra mile so that this child doesn't fall through the cracks?

It's so backward.

Yes, it is sad, but in my experience (of almost two decades), it is almost always the case. The school administration's first priority is saving money, not giving the child the services he needs. Similarly, it is a lot easier to get services for a child who is disruptive than for one who sits there quietly, unable to learn.

It sounds like you need to change schools. I'm not really an advocate of doing that for behavioral reasons, but it looks as though, in this case, everyone os covering for eachother. You'll never get anywhere. Is there another school nearby you could do an in-district transfer?

Is there anything we can do now?

There is probably nothing you can do now for this past school year, but there are things you can do now to make next school year better for your daughter.

I'm assuming this is elementary school. My advice might be different if this was middle school. One key thing that jumps out at me is that it seems you don't know how your daughter's grade is doing except for regular midterm reports and report cards. Many, many teachers will only do the required reporting unless a parent asks for more.

If this was my daughter, I would meet with the administration now. Do NOT wait until later, you need to meet before classroom assignments are made for next school year, that part is very important. I would not place blame or refer to difficulties in prior years. I would just let the administration know that for the upcoming school year, you need your daughter to have a teacher who is willing to work out a plan of regular, weekly communication with you, so that you can work as a team to figure out how to support your daughter and help her be successful. Your daughter's teacher needs to be one who grades papers promptly, and will return them to you in a folder weekly, so you can see immediately what she did and didn't finish. Ideally the teacher will also note for you if there were extenuating circumstances - i.e. Susie looked out the window the whole time, or none of the class was able to finish this particular worksheet, etc. After you meet with the administration, follow up with a pleasant email thanking the administrator for the meeting, letting them know how you're looking forward to a good, supportive year next year, and outlining what you (hopefully) agreed to in the meeting. The email needs to be pleasant, but be sure somewhere in there you communicate your expectations. Not something vague like self-esteem, but something concrete like weekly feedback.

The grade your daughter is in is important. In the later elementary years (at our local school) there is a push away from such frequent parental communication - in preparation for the greater independence kids need in middle school. However, your daughter has special considerations and needs more parental notification now. So if your daughter is going to be in, say, the fifth grade, it's important that you get a teacher who is willing to give you weekly or even daily feedback if needed.

Early in the school year, have a conference with your daughter's teacher and establish a plan of communication. At first I'd try weekly feedback. If that doesn't work, then try daily feedback. Don't let the teacher start with a plan of simply "if I see a problem I'll let you know". At first you need weekly feedback at least. In this conference, don't come across as accusing or blaming prior teachers. The whole tone of the conference should simply be that you have concerns about your daughter, and you want to work as a team with the teacher to find out what those problems might be. You can best support the teacher if you stay knowledgeable and informed. After all, both you and the teacher are on the same side with the same goal - your daughter's academic success. If you constantly approach the problem as one of how to mutually support each other's goal of educational success for your daughter, then that will help.

Don't jump to conclusions over the first few papers returned. You may find your daughter has a mixture of small issues. But if your daughter has a reasonably good teacher and you communicate with her frequently as a team, over time you will see what your daughter needs.

For my son the key was to identify the problems early and address them. For kids, it works best if you can find out why they didn't finish the worksheet that week. Two months later is simply way too long.

Anyway, this approach worked well for me when my son was having issues. Identify the expectations, emphasize the mutual goal, frame it in terms of how you can support the teacher by staying informed and doing your part at home. Don't let it slide, stay on top of it all year long and make sure the teacher does, too.

If you have problems with this teacher, then document it with specifics. Follow through on your conversations with an email. For example, thank you so much Ms. xxxx, for talking to me this afternoon. Here is my understanding of what we're going to do.........

Eventually you will have enough specific information on problems to take it to the administration and get action.

Great advice, Daisy!

Also, when we were having problems with my DS after January, we had a conference with the teacher and she was talking about some of his issues as well as the positive things he was doing. I told the teacher that I knew nothing of these because all I ever saw in his planner was the negative. So we decided that she would write both negative and positive comments every day. And only positive if there aren't any negatives. It made me feel as though we were making progress and it made him feel as though he wasn't doing everything wrong. So maybe you could make sure that in any updates you get from the teacher, she coud give you positive as well as negative feedback.

I'm sorry I missed this thread earlier...

"We talked to the principal about having her tested for learning disabilities. He said he would, but it was never done. "

"Now she is telling me that the school social worker did evaluate my sd and decided that she is not in need of any special ed services."

As TOS already stated, a social worker simply isn't qualified to either do an evaluation or to state that one isn't necessary. And unfortunately, you WILL have to get 'semi-legalese' to make this evaluation happen. The school doesn't want to do it -- it's expensive; and they believe they've already solved the 'puzzle' -- behavior problem. You need to let the school know that you mean business, and that further excuses and buck-passing will not be tolerated. Your daughter is behaving exactly like a bright child with learning difficulties, so ruling LDs out is absolutely necessary before labelling her a behavior problem.

My e-mail is linked through GWeb, and if you email me, I will send you the text of a letter designed to meet all of the legal requirements needed to compel the school to test your daughter for learning disabilities. While the letter sounds a bit formal and legalese, it is important that you don't change it to 'nice it up', because the legalese tone is also an important part of the message. And don't wait for next year! The district DOES have special education personnel working over the summer, and they can have the testing completed and results in hand before your daughter starts school in the fall. Wouldn't that be better than having her labelled a behavior problem for yet another teacher? (You know they share notes!)

While your daughter is behaving exactly like a child with undiagnosed LDs, she is a child with behavior problems in class, (I'm stating this as a fact, not placing blame.) and since she does, she's a PITA for the teacher. You can gain points with the teacher and probably also make some headway if you tell the teacher something along these lines: "We will not tolerate DD's misbehavior in your class, and want to work with you to nip any problems in the bud." (Never mind that you think they may be the teacher's fault. While I agree with you that a teacher's dislike can exacerbate or even cause problems, that won't help your DD. You need the teacher to think you're on her side, not siding with your DD to blame her.) Ask the teacher to notify you immediately if DD fails to complete an assignment, mouths off, or whatever problem it is she's having, then respond to the teacher that you will enforce 'appropriate consequences' at home.

If the school has labelled your daughter as a 'behavior problem', know that they also probably blame her parents. Don't let this make you defensive, but rather strive to prove to them that this is not the case -- that you don't tolerate misbehavior at home, that you have consistent rules for her, and that SD follows them at home.

Hang in there!

Sweeby's right: "Ask the teacher to notify you immediately if DD fails to complete an assignment, mouths off, or whatever problem it is she's having, then respond to the teacher that you will enforce 'appropriate consequences' at home."

A__'s mom had this chat with his teacher too. That ANYTHING that's not up to snuff (homework, behavior, attitude, etc) needs to be communicated IMMEDIATELY so that she can deal with it IMMEDIATELY. And it's helped a lot with his behavior at school (apart from when her mom throws monkey wrenches into it of course).
It's also helped that BM talks with us about this stuff now, but the teacher's attitude changed now that she knows that his parents will bring in at-home consequences for at-school behavior if it's necessary.

HelpWithThis - My email to you bounced, but the letter is short, so I'll just paste it in here:

June 4, 2008

Dear Ms. Jones: (Principal)

I am the mother of Jane Doe (student). My child is having problems with her
schoolwork. Please give her a complete comprehensive individual assessment
to see if she has a disability and whether she needs special education and
related services. I understand that the written report of the assessment
must be completed within 60 calendar days of the date of this referral. I
will consider the date on which you receive this letter as the date of
referral.

Thank you for your help. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Mary Doe
(555)123-4567 work
(555)123-9876 home

cc: John Smith (teacher)
Mary Johnson (school psychologist or counselor)

keep in my mind some states have even shorter deadline such as 30 days since the day of referal!

I would insert as a final paragraph "As you are aware, an evaluation had been requested on [insert date, or if you don't remember exact date, month]. As you are or should be aware, your reply that an evaluation had been conducted by a social worker is insufficent."

I would also copy the Superindentent, and if the School District has one, their in-house legal counsel.

Definately use firm but polite and slightly legal wording (like sweeby said) And I would probably do what KK said as well...although I might wait to see if the school takes action or not after the letter...a lot of the time that is the only way to get things done with schools... I am about to have to throw a few fits with my kids' school myself... it is not the first time and I am sure it wont be the last... unfortunately, especially if you have a child that has special needs, you have to stay on top of what the school is doing at all times.

All of our prayers are with you and the child. The school is falling short. The child may or may not need special help. In her grade were there any standardized tests that you can get results? Not that these tests are the be-all and end-all, but it may give you a roadmap. Does the district have summer school avaiable? If not, will they pay for SD tutoring over summer?

One other thing -- Generally, parental consent will be needed to do the testing. Even though you asked for the testing, that may not count as specific consent. If you haven't already mailed the letter, you might want to add a statement at the bottom to "Please consider this letter my permission to conduct the comprehensive individual assessment."

Good luck to you --

Also, cc the school district's head of special education, assuming they have one.

They do have summerschool available. But sd is so frustrated from the school year that putting her in summerschool would feel like such a punishment to her. They did have standardized testing this year, but we won't get results till fall. On her school assessments that they do on the computer she was below in reading all year. The principal says that it was the school psychologist that made the assessment. But I do not understand why it was just left at a behavioral level and they never dug into the academics.

I have signed my sd and dd up for the summer reading program at our local library. We checked out books today and will be reading every day at home as well as practicing math skills. I also signed them up for readers theater activities and a program where they read to younger kids weekly. I feel that this will help them to keep up their reading skills over the summer, and maybe advance them.

I have heard from friends near me that are teachers that the only school personnel in their district that works summer is administration. So I may not be able to get any testing done during the summer.

In my district and the one next over there is plenty of testing over the summer. The district may use outside physchologists etc.

it may very well be that only admin is working over the summer but a lot can be accomplished if you push it. Schools and school districts dont do to much over the summer and tend to put things on the back burner until the new school year starts unless you are a thorn in their side that they need to get out ... The first person you talk to may say well you need to wait for the new school year to start but that person is usually the person who answered the phone and therefore the assitant to whoever weeding out calls for the people you actually need to talk to. Just dont take no for an answer and if they give you grief let them know that if the school would have done its job during the school year this would not be a problem but since it did not ... it is up to them to correct this BEFORE a new school year starts and your daughter falls furher behind. I deal with schools daily for my job and sometimes it is like banging your head against a brick wall just to get someone to do their job... but if you know what they are supposed to do and push you will succeed. Don't get discouraged... yes admin may be the people working but they know who to call to make it happen.

"I have heard from friends near me that are teachers that the only school personnel in their district that works summer is administration. So I may not be able to get any testing done during the summer."

Don't you believe it! They absolutely want you to wait until next year. It's easier and more convenient for them, but will perpetuate the difficulties your SD is facing. Do Not let them get away with this. If they need to use outside evaluators, that's actually even better for you (they're generally more child-centered and less budget-driven), so if they give you the "no one working" excuse, helpfully offer that using outside evaluators would be acceptable to you and would allow them to meet their legal obligations to your SD.

Bring them that letter, and from now on, put EVERYTHING in writing. Be polite. Be cordial. But be absolutely be firm and assertive. And be on the record. This is like real estate -- If it isn't in writing, it didn't happen and doesn't count. If you've already verbally agreed to waiting, go back in and reverse your position. Tell them your daughter's education is too important for you to be able to back down on this with a clear conscience, and that you need to insist that the school live up to its legal responsibilities.

Helpwiththis - I'm about as non-confrontational a person as you are ever likely to meet, so dealing with school special ed. beaurocracy (sp?) has been very difficult for me. But the stakes for my child are simply too high to allow myself to stay in my comfort zone, and I've had to be firm, and in many cases, unyielding. And the winner has been my child.

Practice different ways to say what needs to be done. (Look up what the specific legal deadline for testing is for your state -- I believe the 60 days is Federal, so it would trump anything that's more generous. But if your state has something shorter, then that would apply.) Then find 4 different ways to say "You need to test her within 60 days" and rehearse them until they come out smoothly.

This is too important --