Should photos of previous spouses be hid or thrown away?
mistihayes
15 years ago
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mistihayes
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Does the clutter go away with a new house?
Comments (24)Our home is too small for us and I get rid of things often. I cant stand stuff just sitting around. One rule I have is that if I have to move it more than 3 times to get to something that I really need it must be removed from the house. Sometimes its unfortunate because I will finally, 2 years later go looking for it and remember that it made me mad and I threw it away. Some people are pack rats like my DH. He is also very particular about "his stuff". Especially his desk area. One day I was home while he was at work and I went at it. He had grocery store receipts from 2004!!!! He has about 5 sets of gold clubs in the attic and he doesn't even play golf anymore... I really hope having more space gets rid of some of the clutter. If everything had a home it would be so nice. Maybe I should just move everything out of the house and then start moving back in the most important items first and then when I am out of room no more crap comes in....See MoreHow bad should things be before bankruptcy
Comments (33)Okay, I've been reading this thread and not responding to it b/c I don't want to have it come out wrong. I can't keep quiet any longer. I agree with many statements above. I would like to say these things: If you haven't already filed bankruptcy-DON'T do it. Your husband is like a child and you are not teaching him any good sound financial responsibility by bailing him out all the time. You've bailed him out 2x already and then signed for a loan for someone who has no credibility. Doesn't pay bills and loves to spend....HELLO that was not a smart move but you have to move ahead...can't look back. You guys created these debts you have to pay them. Your biggest expense next to your mortgage is your student loans....in almost all cases they can't be discharged. So you will still end up having to pay that. You've already stated you need your cars, so you'd be keeping those. You have to pay back your 401k loan...So basically you'd be trying to file off your 60k in CC and your SBA loan? Good luck.....you are going to ruin your credit....for a very long time IF you even get your bankruptcy granted with the new laws, you still may have to pay some of that back. What happens if you file and then have poor credit, no credit cards and then your water heater goes, or your furnace? You have no cards to pay it, no savings to pay it and no money to pay it. So you skip car payments to pay it then can't catch up and car gets repo'd and you have no way to work, lose your job, lose your house. Sounds extreme but it could happen. There are lots of people that are ONE crisis away from poverty and homelessness. I would set a budget, stick to it. Kick DH a$$.....if he's a photographer, start going to bridal shows get some clients offer better package pricing. Brides are bargain shoppers, if you have the best price and great photos you are hired. Hit the road and take photos of things when he isn't working. Enter photo contests w/cash prizes. Put your name out there. Free advertising is everywhere!!!! Stop crying over it and FIX IT!!!! Also, if you can sell stuff.....like 10 chairs to buy 4...then be smarter with the money. Sell 6 keep 4 and pay some bills. Take ALL the cards away from DH and give him a weekly allowance and that's it. If he's unhappy with that let him know that he did it to himself and needs to learn the hard way. Money doesn't grow on trees and the credit tree just got cut down. NO MORE MONEY......no more excuses. You made these bills now you have to lay in the "bed of bills" for a while. Once you recover from this you will feel a sense of relief and feel like a better person that you "took the bill by the horns" and paid everything down. You did the right thing and not the easy way out. Anyway, I'm all fired up, I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive. It's time to put your husband in his place and if he's not on board then he's got to find someone else to take advantage of financially b/c it's not gonna be you....See MoreShould spouse pay rent?
Comments (89)"why would parents repeatedly tell their children that they inherit something? why would this topic even come up? how would it start: hey i am going to leave you XYZ. lol repeatedly their whole life? why? I can see how maybe when they wrote the will they said something...but repeatedly tell them their whole life...what for? I get upset to think of my parents dying, as I watch them getting older, why would they be bringing it up my whole life?" In my case, I suspect it was a need on my Dad's part to periodically "set the record straight" because SM (for many years GF) brought up money issues incessantly. (Generally with the theme being "gimme, gimme".) I never once brought up these issues. My Dad got together with SM when I was 13 and inheritance (again, among many other money issues) was already being brought up then, long before I could even really comprehend the issue or had any reason to imagine my Dad would ever die (kids don't think about stuff like that). Another major talk occured when I was about 18 (surprise, surprise), then another one when I was about 20, then again when I was 24, then again when I was about 29, then several after he got sick when I was 30 up until he died when I was 32. His statements were always pretty much the same, with his wishes being to pretty much split everything he owned 60/40 (SM's favor). The only major change occured when *I* told *HIM* that I didn't think it would go well if he left the house for me and SM to split thusly, that it could cause any number of problems for both she and I. I told him he should just leave her the house outright. He then took it upon himself to arrange things so that his intended 40% to me was maintained by allocating other assets to me, but I had not asked him to do that. Overall, his wishes stayed the same for years, even though SM kept insisting she should have more. And even though she might have *expected* that she could make him change his mind. One very crucial little encounter, especially in hindsight, really drives home the point to me why he kept feeling this need to "set the record straight". (Sorry in advance to those who've read this story before... and sorry, too, that it's a little long.) It was about 1996, I was about 20, and my SM and I had gone last-minute holiday shopping together. I had only so much cash on me, which I'd used up on presents for my Dad (and her, btw) and others. We were kind of far from home and really hungry, and discussed going to the McDonald's that was on the way home. But this decision became a full-on philosophical crisis for SM, as she agonized out loud: "Hmmmm... well what should we do? I mean, you don't have any money left to get anything." And I said: "I can pay you back when we get to the house, I'm really REALLY hungry..." and after some serious moral rumination she finally agreed that was do-able. In hindsight, I think she was so consumed by her one-track mind obsession that as an ADULT, I, stepchild, should not EXPECT ---literally--- a dollar for ANYTHING that it next precipitated the following exchange, once we were inside the McDonald's eating our Happy Meals: SM: "You know, when Dad dies, everything's going to me. And then, when I die, if there's anything left, you'll get it at that point." ME: [bewildered as to where in the heck this subject was suddenly coming from] "Why are we talking about my Dad dying? Is he sick or something?" So over a decade later, when I finally had the nerve to tell my Dad about this little exchange (b/c he asked why I don't trust SM), and when he reacted with shock and said "I never told her that!", I believed him. Because in all those times he sat she & I down and told us what's what, that little plan of hers didn't enter the convo. I believe she was either 'testing' me out, trying to get some kind of rise out of me to start a family feud, or living a freakin' delusion in her brain. Which to me clearly illustrates why my Dad kept feeling the need to divest her of her persistently unfounded expectations. Which leads back to the orginal question. So to sum it up I think the reason my Dad regularly had these "sit-downs" with us all together about his will and what would happen is precisely because he wanted us both to hear the same thing out of his mouth at the same time in case either of us [she] tried to pull some deceptive little crap on the side. And he didn't want either of us having expectations that would be disappointed... especially her, apparently. My point with all this is that the situation that some SP's may view as "typical" ---that is adult kids "demanding" an inheritance--- is just simply not always so. Sometimes it's adult spouses who "demand". That's the main difference with my story, and perhaps it's unusual. I'm sure there are plenty of bratty, spolied adult stepkids who not only DEMAND an inheritance but who mean-spiritedly believe their parents' spouses should get nothing. I can honestly tell you that even though my SM has been a royal arse to me for many years, I would never think she deserved to get NOTHING, or less than what my Dad promised her in my presence....See MoreDid You and Your Spouse 'Meet Cute'?
Comments (37)I met my husband when we were 12 years old...March 25, 1959. He and his brothers and sisters moved to Texas to live with two uncles, because his parents died. One brother and two sisters lived with an uncle in a town about 7 miles away and he and his brother moved to my town. We had a very small school and two very handsome boys entering school was a big deal. All of the girls were crazy about them. They had blond hair, brown eyes, very tan, beautiful white teeth smiles. :sigh: I was such a tomboy...I wasn't very girly. I had braids that went to my waist and I rode my horse every day after school. He came to visit me, because I had a horse. ;) I didn't start dating him until I was 16, although I was crazy about him when we met and I used to write about him in my diary every day, but since he never talked to me, the only thing I had to write about was what he wore to school that day. When I was 14, I gave up...had other boyfriends. He asked me out when I was 16, and by then, I was over my infatuation with him, but I went anyway. We ended up dating for 3 years, married at 19 and almost 44 years later....still married. One child, born 15 years into our marriage....See Moremom2emall
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