Kathy, Ouch, me, too. My neurologist (I have migraines) put me on low dose Lexapro two weeks ago. I know, we don't "Mask" the pain, but minimal functioning is not enough, and I know me. I can function, work, smile when need to, even laugh sincerely, love, whatever, but I do have a low grade depression and some Post Traumatic Stress. My garden needs work, my house is getting messy (I'm a good housekeeper, not fanatical, but clean, so I know this is not normal for me). Went to a funeral yesterday of a friend, died at 84 (my dad's age when he died 4 years ago). His son in law read a letter Louie had written about his mom. (great). At the end, it said "If your mom is still alive, be sure and tell her you love her" Well, the rest of the day was a bust for me, and today (one day before mother's day) isn't much better. I'm thinking of skipping church tomorrow. The trees here are gorgeous, doesn't affect me. I have thought about seeing someone, but will wait another month. My mom's birthday is this month as well. She would have been 78. I"m 49, also have 5 grandchildren. They do help. The corsage thing I've not heard of. Wow. I really feel an empty hole. Give myself time, I keep saying. Let God minister to me (but even the heavens feel as brass at this point). Oh, I don't know. I sound like I'm being a baby about the whole thing but there's not really a close friend I can talk to who will understand. When dad died I was told by them just 4 weeks after to get over it. (his was a traumatic event, diagnosed w/stage 4 lung cancer, never left hosp, died a week later) so I don't have a close friend to spill my guts to. My husband is ok, but not quite there, you know? Thanks for letting me vent. It helps. Kendra P.S. I also feel annoyed and sometimes angry...normal for the grieving process...but it bothers me to feel this way.

My mother was an awful cook. She fried almost everything, yet she was slender as were my sister and I. She had a 5-6 dish rotation: smothered steak (fried round steak cooked in brown gravy until tender-ish); fried pork chops; fried chicken; fried frozen shrimp on Friday nights (we are Protestant but she served fish on Friday); over-cooked, shoe-leather tough roast on Sunday; and at some point every couple of weeks, the worst spaghetti you’ve ever tasted. There was no such thing as a casserole. Green salads were rare to non-existent. I never could understand the penchant people had for mac and cheese when I was growing up. Here is Mother’s recipe: Cook elbow macaroni until it is flabby. Drain and put in a rectangular baking dish. Beat 2 eggs. Add milk. Pour over macaroni. Top with a few slices of very mild cheddar cheese. Bake until the macaroni is hard again. We had an abundance of vegetables because we had a huge garden (couple of acres) that we shared with the people who worked for Daddy. Mother did not can food, but she froze a lot of vegetables. I ate a lot of fresh tomatoes growing up. We had them for every meal, including breakfast, when they were in season. I would sneak into the garden, find a good one and eat it like an apple! Then there was fried okra; fried field corn (corn cut off the cob and cooked in a skillet with butter or bacon drippings); pole beans; yellow squash; cucumbers, butter beans (harvested when they were tiny) and crowder peas. For such a lousy cook, Mother had very high standards. Vegetables had to be small and tender. Tomatoes had to be vine-ripened unless they were being used for fried green tomatoes, in which case they had to be truly green and hard. Fruit had to be unblemished. We had no processed foods ever. I didn’t know what American cheese was until I was 23. It wasn’t that Mother was purposefully a healthy eater. She just didn’t like the taste processed foods. Mother never baked a cake from scratch, except a coconut cake at Christmas. The coconut had to be fresh (as in ”first you buy a coconut…”) and finely grated by her own hand. Her pie crusts were always from scratch and always flaky and tender. She had 2 pies she made, lemon meringue and chocolate. Biscuits and cornbread were made without a recipe and were always perfect. Mother’s best dishes were her potato salad and her cornbread dressing. I can’t make either one to save my soul. My sister comes really close on the cornbread dressing. Mother was over 90 when she died. She was living by herself in her own home, doing her own housework and cooking her own meals (still nothing processed). She did the light portions of her own yardwork but hired a really good-looking, very buff young man to do the heavy lifting and mowing. We teased her that she found things that needed doing just to get him to come to the house! I suppose my ”rebellion” is not cooking like Mother did. But I wouldn’t mind having her yard man mow my grass. 😉 ETA: My sister just sent me these pictures of Mom. She may have been a lousy cook, but she went some interesting places!

Thank you,Eld and to all you mothers on KT, have a wonderful day. Hopefully, the last two days of rain will clear up enough to have our mothers day dinner at my daughter's new backyard entertainment area.

In finding a partner, ”There’s a cover for every pot.”