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I dont get along with my step daughter

14 years ago

Step Children are hard to get along with sometimes, even under the best of circumstances. Unfortunately, I have never had children, so I believe that this puts me at an even greater disadvantage. Not knowing how to deal with children in general I suppose, then having to deal with DH's kids. My SS and I get along really good for the most part. There was a transition we had to go through, but we made it and now we enjoy each others company and can laugh about the same things. We even have a lot of the same taste in music. On the other hand, my SD and I do not seem to have anything in common. And like many of the previous posters, I cannot stand her either. She is almost 14. I tried really hard in the beginning, about 3 years ago. Dealt with all the tests she threw at me, tried doing things with her just the two of us. Taking her shopping, out to eat, movies, just anything to meet on an even level. But the last 6 months have been hell. She has become even more self centered than before, more manipulative, rolls her eyes more...etc. I cant deal with that. I feel that she is very disrespectful and DH feels that I pick on her. I suppose that I have become resentful....and I hate that. He is never on my side, he never backs me up. He will say he is going to punish her and never does. She often gets away without having to do chores when told. But her Brother is working around the house constantly. We cannot go to a convenience store without her putting on gobs of makeup, skin tight jeans and making us wait 2 hours for her to get ready. She barges in my bedroom to use my things without asking, and then gets ill when you tell her she needs to knock before entering. Im sick to death of the rolling eyes, the back talk, the using behavior, the ungratefulness of my hard earned money to buy her things...(which I am not doing anymore). DH's response to everything is that we live in a small house, and until we finish our house we are building, he isnt going to try to correct her behavior. What?? Wont it be harder to correct later?? Sadly, my last resort to this defeat is to have the least little thing to say to her. The last time she was here, I barely said two words...I wasnt really trying to prove a point, just tired of being shot down, and getting my feelings hurt. So I just decided its easier to not have anything to say...I wont discipline, ask for anything, and let her Dad deal with her. I truly believe that she doesnt really care to talk to me anyway...she never asks how I am, how are my interests, or anything. I dont try to be her mom, or her sister, just a friend, and she doesnt really seem to want that. She is so difficult to understand, takes herself waayyyy toooo seriously. You cannot joke with her, but boy can she sure dish it out. Ive been told the mother is the same I dont really look for it change...ever?? Another sad thing is, DH must have noticed my behavior towards her, but didnt say a word to me about it. He doesnt seem to really want to resolve anything with me...and her. So it just keeps building. I would love to hear any thoughts on this. There is always more to a story, I will try to unfold more as it goes along.

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