chinatreasures, first of all, where are you? I had St Augustine and also think it's beautiful when it's healthy. I don't have it anymore since my whole (very small) yard is either rose beds or path areas. I tried to keep a round area in the front yard with grass, but the St Augustine was just too much for me. It was monster grass where I need something much more demure. I used RoundUp and mulched on top of the dead grass for a few months, hoping it would decay. Yeah, right. It hadn't even begun to decay when I dug it up. If you kill the grass in the whole area, you really only need to mulch the finished planted area as you go along. I would use some weed preventer (like Halts) in the killed area while it awaits planting. You have a lovely location and plenty of grass to admire so I don't think you'll miss the St Augustine. Which roses are you planting? The up side of preparing a large bed is that you'll be ready for all the future roses that you'll be compelled to buy - just plop them right in, no muss, no fuss. Welcome to roses!! Sherry

suzienj - I love your space. The textures are great, and that corner desk is so great! The black fabric is the one I am the most hesitant about, but I think I'll really like it. We have black furniture in other places in our house, so it will tie in well. I will post photos as I go. We have another meeting tomorrow with her, and honestly, given that it's a free service, I'm really happy. When we were building, I hired an expensive certified interior designer, and I wasn't pleased at all with her work (ended up "firing" her and making all the choices myself - she said she hated the distressed look that I love, but that's another long story). So, I guess the price tag isn't always an indicator of quality. Thanks, Jan

Dear steph4491, Your feelings of not really liking to be around when all the kids are there. I am sure you are a good mom to all these children and what is happening now is you feel like nobody appreciates what you have done and what you are doing for these kids - espcially his kids. It is a fact that there are alot of kids around your home and it is a fact that even though they are not ''blood related'' there will be jealousy, friction and so one between them. Thats what kids do biological or not. The problem however is when others start telling you how to raise those kids, what should be better for them, etc. etc. etc .when in fact you are the one who is holding the fort here for all these kids, including your boyfriend. I have been a stepparent for 18 years and I too heard comments from by hubby's family as to how I was raising his kids. What business is it of his family whether or not his kids have their own room when they come over every second weekend. Thank the lord they even have a room to sleep in when they come over. I totally agree whit you when you say its not like they don't have their own room at their mom's and that's the way it should be because that is where they live. When they go to your house, they are visiting!!! It reminds a few years ago when hubby and I moved into a three bedroom house. I figured one for us, one for the kids and one will serve as an office room. I needed the office room to study and to do some freelancing. Well, you can just imagine how the kids reacted when they saw there was only one room for them and they would have to take turns using it. One weekend it would be my stepson and the other weekend it would be my stepdaughter. The oldest stepdaughter hardly ever stayed over for the night. And that was alright with me cuz God know's where we would have put her. I really didn't care what anybody said. For years, I put those kids first in our life but this time I had decided that I was going to put my needs first. And guess what, nobody died from the situation. In fact, my stepson started enjoying having to sleep downstairs in the family living room when his sister got the '' one bedroom" which had no TV''. My stepson started enjoying the basement so much since he could watch movies and eat chips as long as he wanted, that he soon told his sister she could have the ''one bedroom'' every time they came over to our house every other weekend. According to the grand-parents, your boyfriend's kids should have their own room when them come over to your place! Well, first of all, they say that so that these kids will feel they are treated the same way as your kids are! But what about Christmas, did they treat your kids the same way they treated your boyfriends's kids. No! So, there you go. When they make comments like the kids should have their own bedroom's, just remember where these comments come from! Why don't you suggest they buy you a house with lots of bedrooms so then everybody will be happy! Try suggesting that to them! It will probably put them in their place for awhile and isn't that what we want! As far as the kids mother saying lies about you....ignore her, ignore her comments, her lies, everything about her unless you truly have to discuss the kids! Otherwise stay away from her. Don't talk about her. Don't react to her lies or what someone tells you she said about you. You have enough stress in your life! Be good to yourself. Finally, please don't feel guilty about finding excuses to leave the house when its the kids weekend at your house! It's perfectly normal when one feels like there generosity is being abused. Believe me nobody is going to die while you are gone during those weekends! It's not like your boyfriend can't take care of the kids while you take a little bit of time for yourself and find the strenght to go back to the house and deal with all these people! Sometimes, I used to count the hours to sunday night when the kids would be leaving. It's not that I didn't love them, but holy macaroni, you truly have to live the situation you are living as a stepparennt to know what I mean when I say i wasn't sorry to see them leave after spending the weekend with us! Funny thing though! About an hour after they had left, their father and I would always look at each other and say ...''Isn't it strange without them around"! We miss them already the little buggers! Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings and tell him how you feel and tell him again and again and again and during all this time, remember to be good to yourself and to take time for yourself when his kids are there! Keep posting.

--Get a good shop vac. --Buy two or three fluorescent colored tape measures and write your name on each one. --Buy a couple extra brooms and dust pans. Get plenty of blue tape, duct tape, adhesive tape. Get a couple sharpie pens and couple fattie markers and put your name on all of them or tape spoons to the ends of them. --Decide where you're going to store the old flattened cardboard boxes so they're handy when you need them. --Decide where the various kinds of waste will go--wood, plastic wraps, sawdust, etc. --Make notes of where you stored stuff--where did that turkey platter go? In what crevice will you be stuffing the rubber boots or the Easter baskets? (If you know which of the boxes in the mound in my basement contains Christmas stuff, let me know.) If you buy stuff in anticipation of its installation, decide what thoughtful place it's going to be in temporarily and tell others! (How silly--I have a wonderful vintage lighting fixture which might be right there in the jumble of boxes, but which box? And meanwhile, I had to waste a precious afternoon just to buy a $60 standby piece because the electrical inspector was coming! I'll probably be living with it for years.) ____ Be sure you have truly finished the decision making. Don't put off things because there is a birthday party and a school project and you're stressed at work. The kitchen timetable can't wait for you to have a good day. Allocate time to think clearly--put it in the calendar if necessary, whether it's go-to things like visiting a showroom or the HD, or a conversation with spouse, or a second look at Aunt Jane's fabulous XYZ, or a final, really thoughtful look at all the plans, specs, etc. Be sure you have made sensible final decisions as to siting of electrical switches, lighting fixtures, electric plugs. THINK! This part of the work is very very hard to undo once it's buried inside walls and the guy with the talent and the license has left the premises. Think through the 3-way switches, the overlarge banks of switches, the actuality of when you will want to turn something off or on. You can't say later, "oh, by the way, let's just change X." Electrical stuff is more lasting and important to your daily life in a kitchen than a paint color or the size of the soffet or the placing of the sink sprayer but you probably spent less time planning it.