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Stepmoms and Weddings

11 years ago

My SD's wedding was several years ago, so its been long over. I'm just curious how other stepmoms are treated, especially like in my circumstance their mom raised them? Do you expect to be treated like a mother or maybe as an honored guest? If your stepkids have married, how were you treated?

I was included in some ways, but excluded as well. SD had a small wedding, maybe 50 or 60 people and it was mainly family and close friends. SD did invite my daughter(her stepsister), my parents and my siblings and their spouses. I was included in some photos, but also SD did a pose of just her with her bioparents. DH didn't object to that. SD did do many different poses of different people, and SD did give us an albumn of wedding poses.

Ways I felt excluded: I did not receive a mothers corsage and was not escorted down the aisle like SD's mom and mil were. However for the ceremony DH, myself, and SD's mom sat on the front row together. For the reception SD had all the immediate family sit at one table together as in SD and her husband, SD's mom, DH and myself, and SD's inlaws. Siblings sat with other family members. My daughter was not asked to participate as a bridesmaid even though SD's two sister in laws were. My daughter didn't care cause she and my stepdaughter are not close.

SD didn't have just her dad give her away. It was both her mom and dad walking her down the aisle. SD said she couldn't justify just having her dad walk her down the aisle cause her mom raised her pretty much herself, so she didn't feel right pick one parent over the other caus no matter who she chose one parent's feelings would've gotten hurt. Still with a divorced situation, it makes it a bit tricky cause the bioparents giving the bride away are not married but escorting their daughter down the aisle. Again, my husband had no problem with any of this. He gets along with his exwife, and didn't get how excluded i felt.

Just curious, how do you think stepmoms should be treated at weddings? Just like the other moms? a family member? a guest?

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