OK,I'am not sure why you would have another child thinking that it would help you feel better towards the ex wife. I also think this is a VERY unhealthy obsession for you. Obviously your husband didnt love her that much or couldnt get along with her or he would still be with her. Is she like,overly attractive or something? And you feel bad about yourself,so you think your husband still wants her? See,I just dont think you'd obsess so much if it was ONLY about the kids. Obviously you are feeling bad about yourself for other reasons. After having your own daughter,cant you see the bond between mother and child and how she will always love you??? Even though you are raising your husband's kids,and you probably do a darned good job,how can you even wonder why they still love their mom so much? Children always idolize their parents and put them on a pedastool. It is not until they become teengers that they start disagreeing with them and seeing them in a different way. Also,because they dont see their mom so much it allows them to see her through "rose colored glasses". Seems like the parent who isnt around as much is the one the kids talk about more because they miss them. Personally,I have always felt the need to defend my own mother as well. Even as kids,and we know our parents do things wrong,they are still our parents and we dont want ANYONE saying bad things about them.My own daughter treats me the same...If I'm feeling really down and I'm like,"Oh I"m so ugly today" My daughter is defensive and she is like,"No you arent mommy!!! And if anyone says it I'll tell them to mind their own business!" When these kids grow up,they will see how you cared for them and were the stable part of their lives that they needed so much. But NO MATTER WHAT their mom ever does,they may always defend her and love her. I can see how it may still be a little hard for you to understand because your own daughter is only a baby still. Wait until she gets older and you'll see how "mommy can do no wrong" in the eyes of a child who loves them. I think you're being too hard on yourself,and instead of focusing all this wasted time and energy on The EX,you should put that energy into something positive and I think you will start to feel better about yourself.

I am a stepmom to a beautiful 7 year old little girl and have been since she was 4 years old. I can literally count on my ten fingers the amount of times her biological mom has made visits since I have known her (more like on one hand). She moved out of state with her when she was four and kept her from my husband for almost a year until he took her to court about three times u tip he finally won sole custody of her and her was granted child support from bio mom. He was also to drive half way from New Mexico to Dallas Texas to have our little girl do OVER NIGHT visits once a month in Texas and two week visits over summer break. Like I said bio mom would constantly cancel visits saying she could not afford it even though we received absolutely no child support checks and when she did make visits she would often request for us to pick up the child early because she had plans with her boyfriend or she would state the child was out of control and she could not handle her. The last visit she had with my step daughter she kept her for a month and it was only supposed to be a two week visit. Also during that time my step daughter was sexually assaulted by step father and we took them to court and the mother called the child a liar and automatically took step fathers side. My husband and I have put her I counseling, pressed charges and done all that we can as loving parents. Charges were dropped due to lack of evidence and now mother is fighting to move child to Texas with her and husband (what a joke right). Keep in mind no child support has been paid and mother has not attempted contact in about a year and 5 months and before that would very rarely make phone calls. She was granted supervised visits which my daughter refuses to have and if she's forced she does not engage in contact AT ALL. She is terrified of these people but the system demands visits. Last time in court bio mom failed to appear because she put her husband as priority and said she could not make it and all visits were suspended. My step daughter is traumatized and terrified of these people. I wish she had a good bio mom but she doesn't and I have been the one to take This place without the official title. Is it hard? Heck yes you do all the work without the official title and have people constantly belittling you as just the "stepmom" but the title is earned not only because you give birth to a child it goes far beyond that. These children have real needs and it takes true responsibility to raise a child and meet their need and give them the love they deserve. I have experienced the feeling of not being recognized for all that I do as a step mom who has really taken on 100% responsibility but that's what being selfless is its doing these thing without expecting recognition from humans. When I married my husband I took on the responsibility of being a mommy whether full time or once a week. I love it and since we have had trouble having babies of our own I have truly been blessed with the opportunity to be a mommy before giving birth. God placed is in each others life and I cherish every moment. To all the step moms out there I know the feelings that go along with being a step parent but it's a huge role and God sees even when others don't. Keep being good mom mad and you shall be blessed. It's not the child's fault they deserve nothing but the best!!!

I understand that you felt that telling the GP's and SGP's about the Japan thing was o.k. because she had posted it on her myspace, I suppose I would have asked her first to make sure it was allright to spread the news. Sounds like SD is totally punishing with the grandbabies, and that's just selfish and unfair on her part. You have the right to be angry about it, but you also need to just let her get it out of her system, being a new mom again and dealing with the hormones. I wouldn't want to go to Vegas pregnant, either. Sounds like she was just EXPECTING to be brought along, not wanting to be left out. A bit spoiled? You're allowed to be angry, but don't continue to carry it because it's just not healthy for anyone. I can't give you much advice about SS. 24 is still very young, he's got a lot of growing up to do.

Getting married and having children may not be for everyone, but if they are what you want, health, emotion, and finance wise you can afford, why do you deprive yourself? after all you only live once, you have right to make choices. I was happy as single and child free, but being married and being a mother are so much better for me. Life is a lot more inspired, enriched and fulfilled. Here is one of many articles from internet. The link is http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/marriage-rights-benefits-30190.html Marriage Rights and Benefits Whether or not you favor marriage as a social institution, there's no denying that it confers many rights, protections, and benefits -- both legal and practical. Some of these vary from state to state, but the list typically includes: Tax Benefits • Filing joint income tax returns with the IRS and state taxing authorities. • Creating a "family partnership" under federal tax laws, which allows you to divide business income among family members. Estate Planning Benefits • Inheriting a share of your spouse's estate. • Receiving an exemption from both estate taxes and gift taxes for all property you give or leave to your spouse. • Creating life estate trusts that are restricted to married couples, including QTIP trusts, QDOT trusts, and marital deduction trusts. • Obtaining priority if a conservator needs to be appointed for your spouse -- that is, someone to make financial and/or medical decisions on your spouse's behalf. Government Benefits • Receiving Social Security, Medicare, and disability benefits for spouses. • Receiving veterans' and military benefits for spouses, such as those for education, medical care, or special loans. • Receiving public assistance benefits. Employment Benefits • Obtaining insurance benefits through a spouse's employer. • Taking family leave to care for your spouse during an illness. • Receiving wages, workers' compensation, and retirement plan benefits for a deceased spouse. • Taking bereavement leave if your spouse or one of your spouse's close relatives dies. Medical Benefits • Visiting your spouse in a hospital intensive care unit or during restricted visiting hours in other parts of a medical facility. • Making medical decisions for your spouse if he or she becomes incapacitated and unable to express wishes for treatment. Death Benefits • Consenting to after-death examinations and procedures. • Making burial or other final arrangements. Family Benefits • Filing for stepparent or joint adoption. • Applying for joint foster care rights. • Receiving equitable division of property if you divorce. • Receiving spousal or child support, child custody, and visitation if you divorce. Housing Benefits • Living in neighborhoods zoned for "families only." • Automatically renewing leases signed by your spouse. Consumer Benefits • Receiving family rates for health, homeowners', auto, and other types of insurance. • Receiving tuition discounts and permission to use school facilities. • Other consumer discounts and incentives offered only to married couples or families. Other Legal Benefits and Protections • Suing a third person for wrongful death of your spouse and loss of consortium (loss of intimacy). • Suing a third person for offenses that interfere with the success of your marriage, such as alienation of affection and criminal conversation (these laws are available in only a few states). • Claiming the marital communications privilege, which means a court can't force you to disclose the contents of confidential communications between you and your spouse during your marriage. • Receiving crime victims' recovery benefits if your spouse is the victim of a crime. • Obtaining immigration and residency benefits for noncitizen spouse. • Visiting rights in jails and other places where visitors are restricted to immediate family. Same-Sex Marriage, Civil Unions, and Domestic Partnerships If you are in a same-sex marriage in one of the states where same-sex marriage is allowed (Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and D.C.), or if you are in a domestic partnership or civil union in any of the states that offer those relationship options, none of the benefits of marriage under federal law will apply to you, because the federal government does not recognize these same-sex relationships. For example, you may not file joint federal income tax returns with your partner, even if your state allows you to file taxes jointly. And other federal benefits, such as Social Security death benefits and COBRA continuation insurance coverage, may not apply.