Ladies may I join you in this discussion? I am a young healthy looking 62. And today is my first visit here after looking up adrenaline I sure understand better now That's what I have going on MY NATURE'S PACE MAKER.working. Adrenaline After a stay in icu heart recently everyone finally agreed i am mot crazy.it was.my heart. The docs installed is a device catch my heart acting badly is a heart tracker like halter monitor. Under my chest muscles on top of my heart. I can cause it record what just happened.. iam write with excitment because your stories are all so familiar. These stories for me begin after mitral valve repair. 7 years ago. Basic problem ..unless the doc sees the heart behaving badly they deny the problem. All this time we never could catch it Last doc said bluntly if we dont see it didnt happen. You must to er Well recent at 230 am it woke me up, just as you have described. I went directly to the er They caught the serious thing! Arrithemia and more then two days in icu. Now meds have slowed my heart from 70 to 52 while docs decide what to do. Last night I realized I was having an adreilin rush. The same rush I went to a neurologist for help. Over a year and half. Often it also affect my skin. Goose bumps crawling feeling all day long! Well have I got news for him.I was not crazy about that either. my gp I visited last month just to say. I know you don't know what is wrong but I still got it. Knows too I sat in neros office two months ago ,,,same thing. I said dr i just want you know ME when I end up in er..and i need you. well it was er straight to icu. Home now with electrical issues. Last last night meds have my average at 52 bpm.it woke me. 2 3 am. I use my tricks to get back to sleep.as soon as felt sleep coming on the stomach feeling spread. It woke me up heart pounding.sweat .out of breath!!! Happened several times . then checked average heart rate on my Garmin. 48. Average 48 so i was probably lower. Maybe 45! My natural pace maker kicked in every time sleep lowered bpm and I was short on air. Natural pace maker? Adrenaline can't wait to see what was recorded on my device Thank you body! Now I think i know what as going on for long time hidden from doc view. Electric shock adrenaline style

You've got two very young children and lots of history together -- What you have is so very important that you REALLY need to try to save it. But 'saving it' does NOT mean "suck it up"! You've already done plenty of that and it's not working... Right now, you're exhausted and feeling resentful; and hard as it is for you to believe, your wife is probably *also* exhausted and resentful. Caring for two little ones at home all day is truly exhausting, and the lack of sexual intimacy in a marriage with young children is legendary. It's become a running gag on TV precisely because it is so true... Get yourselves into counseling! It sounds to me like your wife may have some anxiety issues; and you and her parents have been enabling her for years. Weaning her from all of her crutches will take time, and possibly even medication -- but it can be done, and you all will be better off for it. It's not hard to see how her fears will be passed along to her children if they're allowed to continue. Of course you should be able to have the occasional night off. (As should she, and the two of you together.) And as others have already pointed out, what's with the homework duty? YOU are not the one who's going to be a teacher, and if her own work is not up to snuff, how is your fixing it helping her? Or the kids she will go on to teach? If she were trying to get into medical school, TOP grades would be necessary, but to teach? Sometimes 'good' is plenty good enough. Make some changes Struggling, and do it NOW. (Before you're so darned tired that nothing could work.) Stop just sucking it up and start talking to her. Organize your thoughts, and make a list (yes, a paper list) of the most important two or three points you need to make. Find ways to explain your points that are short, simple and kind; and don't let her get away with twisting your words into things you don't mean. Ask her to repeat back to you what you said (and meant) so you know that she understands you, and be sure to emphasize that it's because you want your marriage to last that you're saying these things.

Here's the thing in my situation ... BM knows the children are with me certain hours of the day its not a hidden fact. So when BM is calling to change times etc. She is calling hubby who she knows is at work because she is calling his work cell phone. So then he has to call me for me to adjust my schedule to "accomodate" her needs. So yes if she is supposed to be here at 3 to pick the kids up ... hubby is still at work I am the one home with them ... I have said it over and over for 2 years.... do not include me in the time change if you're not going to be here then the time needs to reflect when you are going to be home so you can make the exchange. It is finally that way after 2 years. Unless of course BM needs to change the times again. Like if she can't pick them up afterschool for whatever reason. So yes it would make sense for her to directly call me to shift my schedule. But in her thinking "he is the one inconveniencing me" well if you call him at work for everytime you "need" him to adjust the schedule around your wants or be there for the children when you should be then who are you really inconveniencing? besides the children of course? I have even said to her after she was rambling on and on how unaccomodating he is ... that if he got out of work everytime she called to change times he wouldn't have a job he would have to be a SAHD to accomodate you and that her CS would be outrageous. Yes parents should be flexible but when its only one parent doing the flexing that is unfair. I kept repeating to hubby when she would call to change this or that ... when she asks you something ask yourself would she do it for you? then ask her while she is asking you do to for her ask her to do something for you .... exchange answers then if not be firm and say no .... he finally grew a back bone after her saying numerous times "WHY should I do you any favors??" his answers got easier for him as the time went on. He realized she wouldn't do anything that wasn't court ordered..... Asked her for a year to take the kids on a one weekend night one time ... didn't matter when and she could not accomodate ... her answer "take me to court" ok so he goes to court the judge orders every friday and saturday ... 3 months in ... she asks ... do you think he would take the kids on a saturday night???? I'd like to have one saturday night off to go out with friends....I said I know what his answers will be... what do you mean?? well he asked you for a year and your answers were .... "why should I do you any favors? and take me to court" so I could bet money those will be his responses to you for atleast a year. But you are certainly free to ask him. And as far as my SM vision works ... if it had snowed 4 inches at IMA's and her hubby was supposed to pick up his DD come hell or high water if hubby wasn't there getting her BM would have flipped out so don't bother using the snow excuse some people just want everything their way or no way. And are only willing to accomodate themselves and no one else. In Ima's situation BM (SM vision again) is supposed to pick the child up afterschool on a friday but calls most weeks to change the time to 6 pm or later because she doesn't want to drive alone the 2 hours to get her daughter so she waits for the BF to get home from work then makes the 2 hour trek. So pick up daughter at 6 after dinner of course. Then drives 2 hours back home if she stops along the way to visit her other child then its an even longer trip .... who is inconvienced there I would say it was the child 4 hours every weekend in a car. Wow that sounds like a lot of fun. Its common courtesy to be where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be. Say you took a second job on a friday night knowing your child(ren) were going to NCP's every weekend right from school. But then NCP starts calling well I can't get there til 6 pm do you quit your job? or do you tell NCP too bad I have to be somewhere figure out a way? Or NCP is supposed to take the children to dinner on Wed nights... from 5 to 8 ok great so you decide to take a pottery class or whatever .... "knowing" you have adjusted your schedule around your children. Then NCP starts cancelling. Now you have already paid for the class in full no refunds. Do you tell NCP ok this one time but I am taking a pottery class or do you drop what you are doing to accomodate NCP?

Isn't that just the most frustrating thing? We Freecycle and offer free on Craig's list quite a bit, with the same struggle, Patti ... NO_SHOWS! We live out of town, so I don't feel it's fair to people to just set something out on the driveway and say "first come gets it," but I'm about at that point. Tough cookies if they have to drive extra miles, I'm tired of penning up the dogs, sitting and waiting ... and waiting ... for someone who doesn't have the decency to show up when they say they will, or call and tell me they're running late or can't make it. Oh! and the ones who want me to DELIVER a free item to them, because they don't have gas money????? It's one thing to want something large and you don't have a truck ... but a bag of clothes? Will you bring it to me because I can't afford gas? GET REAL.