Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long
cjegger
16 years ago
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celticgirl
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agomiaoux
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
relationship advice needed - feel like I'm losing my mom
Comments (2)I'm not sure you can get your mom to care about your relationship. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure I'd keep trying. Sometimes we just have to accept people the way they are, and that's what I'd do in this case (as far as your own relationship with your mom). I'm also not sure you can get her to understand the need for your husband and you to make requests for your child's care. Again, I think I'd give up trying to get her to understand and agree with you. It seems to me that all you can really do is stand your ground on the safety rules. Stay calm, don't get angry, but just have consequences for when she breaks your rules. If she is letting your daughter get in situations where she is truly in danger (playing on the stairs, taking her to a home where things are stacked high and could fall and hurt her, etc.), then sounds like you just need to make sure your mom has supervised visits only with your daughter. In that situation I would just pay for a sitter and not use my mom to babysit unless I was there. The situation with your soon-to-be baby is sad, and I'm so sorry your mom can't see how hurtful her actions will be. That situation will probably take care of itself, though. I'd think your daughter will love her baby sister/brother and when she gets older your daughter will realize how wrong that kind of statement is. If I was dealing with this with my own mom, then I'd let my mom know that kind of statement is harmful to my kids' relationship with one another and that wasn't acceptable to me. Then, every time my mom made a comment like that, we'd calmly get our things together and leave. Your mom doesn't have to understand, she doesn't have to agree, she just has to stop making that kind of comment. So I wouldn't argue, I wouldn't explain, I'd just calmly say, "It's time for us to go now" or whatever works for the situation, and leave. I would try to enforce my rules in a calm, consistent, firm manner. If my mom wanted to see my daughter alone, then I'd tell her she'll have to go through counseling with the therapist and then later with me and a therapist. No therapy, no keeping my daughter alone. Hopefully her love for your daughter will be the impetus your mom needs to get counseling and change her life for the better. This could be what gets the ball rolling on a much better and healthier life for your mom....See MoreFeel like I'm crazy
Comments (2)I'm so sorry. Fault-finding, carping, waking a spouse in the middle of the night to fuss, etc, are all signs of an abusive partner & there's no cure for that. but since it sounds like this didn't start until after you lost your dear son, I'm wondering if maybe both of you aren't still grieving & depressed. Messy house, bills late, too much time on computer, etc, can all be signs of depression on your part, & the griping & never being satisfied can be a sign of unhappiness at "the new reality" on his part. As Colleen said, you can try for counselling together, but if he won't go, go get some support for yourself anyway. I wish you the best. edited to add: you might post on the Grieving Forum; it's a little slow sometimes, but there's a lot of wisdom & compassion over there. This post was edited by sylviatexas on Sun, Jun 16, 13 at 15:30...See MoreI feel like I'm stuck in a bout of fight-or-flight mode.
Comments (49)Matti, I tried to reach out to you and Georgie. Chemocurl was working with me on the other side with new computer techniques. I even made a Halloween card that included Georgie's dog and others for Georgie using my new training.I got in trouble for posting the final result of my training but I was thrilled to have chemocurl as my friend. Very patient and I learned a lot and liked that she is so darn real and tries to be kind and encouraging. I was moving right into Georgie's backyard and she asked me where I was going to live. when I told her where I was moving to I got no answer. I understood and moved on. When georgie called out for me I told her I was on the Computer Help side. No answer and when I came back to trivia it was not the same for me. Jasdip was clear I was not wanted even though when she was having personal problems I offered her a place to run to. Georgie, never spoke to me again and jasdip missed the fact that I won 2 days in a row. Not much to analyze. For a long time the questions were repeats and too easy to google and I didn't want to be a part of people who did that. I enjoyed the smart answers to the dumb questions that were impossible to answer. Quite a mess but possibly a misunderstanding on the part of you and georgie and me. Someone suggested journaling every morning and and what I wrote back to you all it was off the page in a couple of minutes due to an onslaught of everyone writing at once. I got lost in the shuffle and was off the page before anyone could read it. I probably was not the only one whose posts were missed. A bad idea that I guess stopped. But I am on other sites like Computer Help and Decorating where one can go off the subject and talk about any thing off topic from decorating on a side channel. I will continue to come over here but I miss so many who got passed over and left. It is great to have a core group and I find Alisande and others spot on with good questions so when it comes to someone being ill or losing a spouse I am there. Like Phoggie who lost her husband. I don't see her and because she was brought to this site maybe by raven she got taken care of and was able to move on. I miss mommyme if that is the right name and wrote her when she got ignored and sue va who doesn't answer my e-mails. I remember the big build up when you join. The hellos and glad to have you but they don't last for some of us. There is a core group of wonderful people like Glenda who has always something going on. Inspirational and would love to meet her. And others who never recognize my questions or praise. But I feel the need to tell them they are clever like lazypup and his frog.It would take another 10 years to be recognized by some. Sorry, Susan that I hijacked this. It may be that I only want a few to know how I feel. But I suspect people are concerned about your health and will find this rant but may pass over to get to your new info. You have been a great help for many people I understand and taught them to journal about their life. Good stuff. It seems that so many are glad you did that. Let's see you figure this out. I am hoping for new news and good treatment. Yes, you are someone I would like to meet also. Please keep journaling your time of day and reactions. And if your BP is important stay with it because mine fluctuates so very much without a bit of caffeine in my body. Enough... Ellie...See MoreFeel like I'm losing my mind!
Comments (1)I just started looking at this forum and see that no one has answered you yet. Didn't want you to feel alone! From what I've read about peri-menopause so far, it sounds like almost everything is "normal". I'm turning 51 tomorrow and have been getting the brain fog this past year. I also wondered if I was getting dementia, but then some days it seems much better. Haven't seen a doctor yet, but I will if it gets worse. If everyone is telling you it's okay, I bet it is! Stress from circumstances is probably making your symptoms worse. I'm so sorry you lost your dad and that things started going down hill after that. Look into what you can do to relieve symptoms and maybe throw up some prayers. Alleviating stress and getting lots of sleep does wonders for everything. I know this is easier said than done. Hang in there and trust what the doctor, nurses, and your cousin have been telling you - you'll be okay!!...See Morecheerful1_gw
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