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Boyfriends daughter seems to be driving us apart

13 years ago

I have been dating my current boyfriend for about a year now. Everything seems like it couldnÂt get better - I just feel that I might have a jealousy problem / fear of what the future holds in concern with his 1 ½ yr old daughter. He talks to the mom for the mere purpose of being civil with one another. He had to fight for visitation rights and paternity test (she didnÂt want him to be a part of her life). He works long hours and is only able to see her one a weekend. There are multiple issues that concern me and would love any feedback - I am new to all of this:

The reason why he only has her once a weekend (for 8 hrs), is bc she wont sleep in a crib. The mom is severe bi-polar, doesnÂt work, and has never even attempted to put her in a crib. We have tried and it is honestly impossible, and the mom refuses to change anything. On that same page, when we do have her on the weekend she usually will fall asleep with him, but within that time I literally feel as if I cant move in fear of making noise and waking her up. I can understand that this is not his fault, as it is probably a result of the moms parenting, but at a 1 ½ I feel like something needs to change sometime. I basically feel like im walking on eggshells for the 8 hour period that we have her.

Another concern that I believe someone else posted, which I guess I really didnÂt even think about, is the fact that I did want my first born to be my husbands as well. Its hard to digest that he basically already has a family. I am supportive of him and his daughter, but it has been about 8 months since I have started seeing her and she is still not used to me (boyfriend will leave the room for 5 min and she will throw a fit). I feel like I am not in the position to give my advice. It is just very hard for me to see them together - I cant help but wonder if I will ever have kids with him. We always say that we will once we are financially stable (I am a recent college grad going back to get my masters and he works for a trucking company and is paying a lot of money in child support and heath insurance for his daughter) but I wonder to myself, will we ever be if he continues to have to pay an arm and leg.

I would love any feed back that you might have.

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