Hi everyone. Im going to try and explain this the best and shortest way I can.

Ok, I have been with my boyfriend for 11 months.. soon to be a year this April 2007. When I first met my boyfriend, we were inseperable. We had sparks since our first date. He always wanted to be around me and was constantly asking me when I would want to see him again, and of course i was excited to see him whenever we got the chance.

Now, He has a 7 year old daughter. She was 6 when i first got with him. I knew from day 1 that he had a kid. I do have to say, before I finish my current problem, that I do have issues with baby's mama's ( if you will ), and ex girlfriends. In past relationships I have been burned several times. I have been left for the mother of a boyfriends kid, and cheated on with the mother of a boyfriends kid. They seem to always go back. So i always have this fear of a boyfriend leaving me or cheating on me again, with the mother.

So, I told myself I would never date a guy with a kid again.

I lied to myself though apparently. There was something about this guy that made me want to stay with him even though he had a kid.

This situation is a little different than the last few boyfriends. My boyfriend now has full custody of his kid, and I didn't realize this at first when meeting him. I thought he only got her on the weekends or something, and was surprised to know that he actually was a fulltime father. My other boyfriends only got to rarely see the kids, and i never knew a single full time father in my life.

The mother is not in the picture. She took off on them and I guess she got into drugs and no one even knows where she is.

He is a very good father and thats what turned me on to this situation. I thought "Hey, maybe I can do this."

I ended up moving in with him because I was always here anyways and we just couldn't seem to stand to be apart from each other, for too long anyways.

He works from 9am until around 9pm 6 days a week.

I offered to watch his daughter while he was working, since I was laid off of my job. He did warn me that she was a hand full. ( shes an ADHD kid unfortunately ). I have been around kids a lot in my life and was even a babysitter for a lot. SO I knew i could handle it. Boy was I wrong.

The first week of me living here and me watching her, she was just terrible. She yelled at me, talked back, didn't listen, tells me no. If I tell her no about something, she bugs me and keeps asking WHY NOT?, HOW COME?, etc. She even took a swing at me once. I hid it from him for awhile. He would come home and ask how she was and I said OH SHE WAS GREAT. Until finally i realized it was a mistake because she was taking advantage of that, and her actions were worse, and she just got worse. So i finally told him. He would talk to her about it all of the time. He would have these conversations with her about how I am like a stepmother to her and she needs to treat me with respect. Well here it is nearly a year later and she is still talking back to me, still arguing, telling me no, and then some.

She gets in trouble at school for talking back to teachers, and being mean to other kids. Her teacher tells me that Deja ( the daughter ) .. likes to be the boss of other kids, and even acts like shes the teacher. That is so true. She is like that, even at home.

I have never seen a bad kid like this in my life. Especially a little girl. She was on ADHD medicine a long time ago, but I guess she got stomach pains, and ever since, he took her off of them and never put her on anything.

My bf's mother will not even watch her anymore because she is so bad over there. It breaks her heart and she even cries over it. Every person i run into or talk to always tells me how sorry they feel for me for having to deal with her all day, especially if they know Deja very well.

Sometimes I think that his kid gets in the way of our relationship. We never have alone time, can never find babysitters, and he is always catering to her needs and abandoning mine.

ON top of this, i also have other issues that I am dealing with.

I get sad sometimes when i think that I am never going to be the first one to give him a child. It is always special when a couple has their first child together, and that will never be the case for him and I. Sure, Im thinking way down the road, but still.

I always wanted to be with someone who i could eventually start a family with. Not someone who already has a family with someone else.

So I am very unhappy right now.

I really care for my BF which is why I stuck it out this long. I want to be happy and make this work and eventually be a motherlike figure in this girls life but she is making it very difficult. Im sorry to say this but I do not like being around her. Im happy when 8am comes and shes off too school, and I dread when 3 pm comes around because I know i have to go pick her up from school and i will have to be stuck with her for the rest of the day. I am so stressed out and am really starting to believe I am depressed. I don't have any energy or any motivation. I don't even want to wake up most mornings. I have an appointment with a therapist next week. I know that sounds horrible, but i guess if you have walked in my shoes, you would know. Im hoping someone has walked in my shoes and can give me some advice. Should I stay? or should I go? Please help!!