When we had to move to Atlanta for Dh to go to school he drove the huge moving truck with my car towed behind. He loaded the cat, german shephard and our goldfish. He got about 2miles down the road when he decided to return home. He handed me the cat, in her carrier, and told me there was no way she was going with him. He stopped to potty the dog, and himself, and get gas/food. The goldfish did not survive the Tehachapi mountains in so cal and is buried somewhere in the Mojavi desert. I flew with my 4mo baby in her carseat and the cat in carrier under seat. That was horrible because I had a carryon, baby in carseat and cat in carrier. I had to walk 20' at a time in the terminal carrying the bag and baby while shuffling the cat carrier on the floor. People just sat and watched me, no one offered to even open a door for me. It was a nightmare. Upon returning to CA 2.5yrs later my dh again drove the huge truck with our dog but this time he towed his truck on the flatbed. I drove my car with my cat in carrier and my 2.5yr old in carseat. We got her some fries and she kept poking them into the cat carrier because she thought the cat would eat them. We stopped in Shamrock Texas for the night and managed to sneak the pets in the motel with us. We got separated somewhere in Barstow and it was late and foggy when we got to Fresno. I decided to stop at a motel because it was something like 2am. Dh continued to our home in No Cal. He can drive and drive. I would not recommend doing a cross country trip in two days with three kids but I managed with a 2.5 and a cat just fine. But I think you could have a good time with your kids as long as they had activities and breaks. A stop at a fastfood with a play area is always good. They can play while you order the food. Also, with the older kids you can pick landmarks for them to keep track of where you are on the trip. On one of our trips to Utah my 11yr old dd was really getting on my nerves so I had her count the various flowers we passed. That kept her occupied for many miles. When my dd was 15mo we drove from Atlanta to Florida. She decided that was the time to be potty trained. We tried to put a diaper on her for in the carseat and she would not have it. At one point she started saying "poo poo" but the next rest stop was about 25miles. She held it to our amazement. But it did make things stressful for a bit. Any trip can be fun but always plan for disaster.

I know how you feel! Fortunately my kids don't need formal wear often, but I had the hardest time outfitting my son for the few Bar Mitzvahs he attended when he was 13. At the time, I was fortunate that I was able to find almost everything at Old Navy (online -- I just end up ordering a few sizes and then returning what doesn't fit to the store). I still get his black dress pants and white shirts for school band concerts at Old Navy. I'm not investing a lot of money in dress clothes until he stops growing! I think he's almost there, at age 18 and 6'2". Now we're coming up against the same thing with DD, who is 12 and starting to get the Bat Mitzvah invites from classmates at school (we are not Jewish, but we seem to be invited to far more Jewish events than Christian events!). Fortunately, we knew about one that is coming up this weekend all the way back in the spring, so over the summer I bought her two dresses. Both are pretty blue lace dresses, one short sleeved and one 3/4 sleeved, just above knee length. We kept them both because we know she'll be invited to at least a few of these events. One dress was from Boden (kids) catalog and one was from Lands End, believe it or not. One problem we will have is that I think DD is going to top out at 5' tall and she's very slim, too, so she's going to wearing little-kid sizes for a long time yet. I am so glad she's not into the trashy look. She mostly wears skinny jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies. I see what some tweens are wearing around town and cringe. Hello, aren't the mothers still in charge of what clothes girls can buy when they're 12? Okay, my rant is over.

Turkeytrott: There was a sentence in what I wrote that has been bothering me. It did not come out right and I want to re-word it, to express my thinking here. I wrote: "From what you have written, it sounds to be as if he is so bored, and unhappy, and yet he is still with you". I worded it wrong. What I am trying to say is that you are in a long term marriage. In a long term marriage, people can become bored by familiarity. The lack of newness. It does not necessarily mean that the people themselves are boring. It simply means while people may find comfort in the familiar, they can also become bored. It sounds to me as though you actually have a good marriage, as he says he is content, the snuggling, the kisses, but it sounds as though he is so restless, and yearning for new/different but could be staying because he knows what he has is good, and he doesn't trust himself enough, and fears that he may be totally blowing it and lose you in the process. I think of that song that sings about love... "You don't know what you've got till it's gone" and perhaps that is the fear that keeps him from really chasing after this elusive life he thinks is out there...somewhere. I think of the women that I have read about that have been unhappy in their marriage. Some had an affair and left their husband for the other man. We hear that once her ex-husband found a new love, and either married her or moved in with her, and her children started attaching to this new "mom figure" that she had serious regrets. Or her new marriage was not what she thought it would be and she realized the enormous mistake she had made. Perhaps you can talk to your husband and tell him you understand his restlessness. His boredom. His thoughts dancing with the possibilities of something/someone new. What can you two do that could shake some newness into this fragile time in your marriage as children go off to college and he sees the excitement in their eyes of youth, before reality like mortgages and responsibility weigh people down. And he yearns to feel like that again. Start with a great makeover. It will help you feel good about yourself, and he will see you in a new way. If you need to lose weight, do it. Whiten your teeth if they need it. It can take off years, and make your smile light up a room. Change your clothes style, and address your bedroom style, (bedding/drapes/paint color) to make it fresh and appealing. It will make you feel good every time you walk in your room, even if he leaves. I wish you and your children the best. Re-read my last post, and see if anything within helps in any way. Do not sit idle. If you can't get him interested, or if he has already left, start making the changes for yourself! Take a deep breath, and there are books on the market about women who have discovered gifts in the midst of the sorrow. I am sending a hug and encouragement your way. I wish you blessings in the midst of it all.

As far as open houses go, everyone in a family is allowed to go. Grandparents, aunts, cousins, whatever. It's a chance for the kids to show off things that they've done at school. When my DS has open house, we roll in with a posse! There's probably 10 of us that go. Even X's GF and FDH. Isn't that why it's called OPEN house? As far as the jealousy thing, we have experienced that as well. But I would caution your husband on saying anything. These things can go to the extreme. He may want the son to give him more attention, but that could turn into alienating the SF, whom he lives with, and cause an uncomfortable situation in the home where his son is most of the time. Those feelings of jealousy will pass. I wonder if his jealousy isn't really more of an insecurity at the fact that he doesn't live with his kids anymore. I was jealous of X's GF. But what really makes me jealous is not necessarily what SHE does, but more of my own feelings of insecurity. She gets to have him for all the fun times and I have him when things have to be serious and organized. That's my own insecurity because I'd rather be spending time with him instead of the 12 hours I'm away from him at work. But I know that he's well cared for while he's there and he's happy. She's young and fun and has no kids so she plays with him as if she's his age. And I think that's very special......now lol! Not to mention, he is only 6. Still VERY young. He loves everyone that loves him. There's nothing wrong with that. And what's wrong with SF loving the children? Isn't it that the more people that love the children then better? I can't imagine that anyone would want a person living in a home with their child to not love their kid. What a miserable home that would be!