I know how you feel! Fortunately my kids don't need formal wear often, but I had the hardest time outfitting my son for the few Bar Mitzvahs he attended when he was 13. At the time, I was fortunate that I was able to find almost everything at Old Navy (online -- I just end up ordering a few sizes and then returning what doesn't fit to the store). I still get his black dress pants and white shirts for school band concerts at Old Navy. I'm not investing a lot of money in dress clothes until he stops growing! I think he's almost there, at age 18 and 6'2". Now we're coming up against the same thing with DD, who is 12 and starting to get the Bat Mitzvah invites from classmates at school (we are not Jewish, but we seem to be invited to far more Jewish events than Christian events!). Fortunately, we knew about one that is coming up this weekend all the way back in the spring, so over the summer I bought her two dresses. Both are pretty blue lace dresses, one short sleeved and one 3/4 sleeved, just above knee length. We kept them both because we know she'll be invited to at least a few of these events. One dress was from Boden (kids) catalog and one was from Lands End, believe it or not. One problem we will have is that I think DD is going to top out at 5' tall and she's very slim, too, so she's going to wearing little-kid sizes for a long time yet. I am so glad she's not into the trashy look. She mostly wears skinny jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies. I see what some tweens are wearing around town and cringe. Hello, aren't the mothers still in charge of what clothes girls can buy when they're 12? Okay, my rant is over.

I can speak from experience here: I share my house with a DH, toddler and a 100lb dog with paws the size of a Yeti's. In our old house we tore out all of the carpet and vinyl from the first floor and installed red oak strip flooring (I believe it was Shaw brand). It looked great for about a month and then all I could do is notice the huge gouges my dog put into the floor. He doesn't even have sharp nails, but he's 100lbs and there's only so much you can do. In the current house, we tore out all of the 22yr old carpet and put in a much harder wood species, amendoim, and I have to admit it looks fantastic and it's held up a lot better than the oak ever did. The dog put some superficial scratches in the floor but since the wood only has a clear coat and no stain, you can only notice the scratches if you're glancing at the floor at the right angle, under the right light. We had laminate in the basement of our old house and it used to drive me bonkers whenever the dog would claw to get traction on the floor and I also hated the echo the floor created, even with good padding underneath. I vowed never to put laminate flooring anywhere again, even if the dog couldn't do anything to it. Also, no matter how good technology gets, laminate always looks fake to me and I'd rather not go there. It's just never going to look as good as real wood. In the new house I wanted to put ceramic tile in the kitchen this time around but DH wouldn't hear of it. He swears he doesn't hate tile, but he just can't fine a tile in the whole wide world that he likes :) I let him win that war but I got to pretty much make every other decision with the kitchen since then. I figure we can always refinish the floors once they get to be too bad. As a previous poster said, site finished floors don't have anywhere near the same durability as factory prefinished floors so that's something to keep in mind. My DH always says that people like wood floors and never notice the scratches anyway. I guess he was right because the condition of the floors was never brought up once when we were selling the house even though I lived in fear that that was the first and only thing people would notice as they came through the house. I apologize for the stream-of-consciousness reply but I can't say my brain has been firing on all cylinders today so I hope I helped even a little :)

I think your relationship is young and 4 months living together is still fresh. So the only advice i can give you is what i usually do with my husband. I constantly tell him that if he treats one child like that he must do it as well to the other and if he doesn't then he doens't have my support what so ever. My dh does this to his kids ALL the time. He will always favor his daughter over his son. and even our biochild over his son. He has this negative attitude i see with his own son andi dont like it. Example: he wnats to take his daughter out ot a museum. Wheni hear it said over the phone i assumed it was a family thing...silly me.....he only wants to take her out. We had a scrap out about it htis week. He says i'm jealous...HAHHAhlalllol...i told him im not an insecure woman and in fact i usually encourage outtings alone with both kids. My problem is that he only wants her to go and to leave his son at home iwth me. This will create feeligns of abandonment and jealousy and anger towards my dh. I told him...you want go ahead..but you are dissing your own son yet again! 'oh he wont like the museum' i told him doesn't matter. Your taking her and not him. I've already seen the exhibit...can go again anytime, my son is way too young and would just be trouble...but at least ask your son if he wants to go....its awful. My sd is demanding too of attention and yes my hubby does fall from tie to time. The only thing you can do is talk to him and remind him...but in the end...its him. There was one instant , i wanted to 'teach' them both a lesson, father and daughter...so i took my ss out with me the entire day even though his sister protested and my husband came crawling to me in the kitchen (this was 6 years ago) telling me , maybe its best if i take both kids as a treat...i said sorry, no room, and choose your son...you can have more time with your daughter. Oh boy....were they huffy puffy and every once in a while i would do this. Another suggestion is to make more group time and also alone time with Sd and him. That way she doesn't always take control of the situ.

I agree that both her BF and BM have issues. However, I really don't see their issues being bad enough to justify purusing it in the court. If it does get worse over the next few months or years, then that will be something I consider pursuing in court. I would need her to tell me that is what she wants versus me bringing up that option and confusing her more. My ex knows that I'm talking to his daughter now via her cell phone and has not said anything about it. I think he is at least trying to do right by her. Although she tells me he goes to the bar almost everynight, I just indicate if someone is there with her, then it is fine. Once things with us is more in the past, then I hope he will let me visit with her regularly and we'll be able to speak civilly to each other. She already indicated she would like to stay a few days at my house over the winter break. In the summertime, maybe I can get her for a week or two as suggested and then I'll be able to take some time off and we go on a trip together. In the meantime, I'm going to focus on myself and having positive conversations with her about the good things going on in both of our lives instead of all the drama. During my relationship, I unfortunately lost sight of myself and now I have the time to refocus and find myself. I intend to quit smoking, start exercising, and eating right. These are my biggest flaws. Removing them will help ensure I'm the best I can be for myself and allow be to be the best role model possible for her.