How is the father allowed to demand such a thing? If the girls live with their mother,and she has custody~then this would be more up to the courts and not him.
I could understand him not wanting his children to move to another state where he may hardly ever see them. But to "DEMAND" that they go to therapy abouting moving seems a little dramatic. Moving is always stressful...I have moved several times. Is my daughter tramatized over it? I think not.

The great thing about kids is that they are more adaptable then we realize.
I think the trial run is a great idea.And I also think the trial run shouldnt have them over anyalyzing but getting to know one another and having fun! Moving can also be very exciting.I'm sure they will enjoy seeing different parts of a new state.
I also would just like to ask if the girls know you at all yet? You didnt really mention that in your post. If they dont know you at all,then as the father I could definitely have some concerns.

Would the father be able to maintain the same visitation schedule with his children as he has now?

Actually I think that the father would have to petition the court for that and probably get shot down. I don't think he can require on demand as coolmomma pointed out. Do you know if there is anything in your fiance's divorce decree and custody arrangement that would prevent her from moving out of state? I would be more worried about that and if there is anything in it he could use in court to control things. He can't dictate, but the custody agreement and laws in your state can. Before you think you have to answer to him, find out if he has any legitimate power to do so.

If the father wants to be involved in his children's life, and you are moving the girls away from their father and the state in which he lives. I would not advise it. I'm not sure how you met the mother, or why the 2 of you live in different states, but I just don't think it is right to take children out of an environment in which they have access to both parents on a regular basis. It isn't fair to the girls or to their father. And I know that life is not always fair, but children need their father, esspecially if the daddy is involved and loving. I just think it would be wrong to take them away from that. Sorry, but this is just my opinion.

You have a good point RAEK,my husband and his twin daughters have suffered because of the same situation. Their mom moved them almost ACROSS THE COUNTRY. It costs almost a thousand dollars just to have them fly here,even more for us to fly there.Money,we obviously dont have to easily shell out.
So,both my husband and his daughter's have really missed out on being part of each other's lives.
They maintain a phone relationship and send gifts back and forth.In the summer,we fly them up here (although we feel like we shouldnt have to pay for it since we arent the ones who moved~but we do anyways)
They will be 18 next month,and are talking about moving HERE when school is over to be closer to their dad. I hope it happens,he'd really love to see them more.
It is just VERY unfair to the parent who doesnt get to see theior kids much.

Thank you all for your feedback. I guess it prompts some more information from me, to help make the situation clearer. First, my fiance has primary custoday and visitation, but the father does have the every other weekend visitation. Here's some added details: He is moving out of state within two years. We have gone through major research of the legal situation and she can move, if she can show "better well being", which we can.
And while the father does have the rights to every other weekend, he opts out frequently. And in 3 years of divorce, he has been offered "extra" time, beyond his weekends at least twice a month, but has never once taken the extra time.
Other info: My fiancee and I have both spent alot of time with each other's girls, and we all family vacation and weekend together... On multiple occasions the girls ask their mom when they will get to move to my state, and with their "little sister".
One other item: Upon proposing everything to her ex-husband, we also put together a "proposed visitation" schedule that was actually more time than he sees them now. AND, we have already said we will cover all the costs associated with it (flights, etc).
For their father, this is more about the perception of "letting them leave" and control. Which brings me back to why we are looking for anything we can provide to substantiate our case.

Shortly after my divorce, I got a wonderful job offer in another city about 250 miles away. I had the legal right to move and bring DS with me because I had anticipated such an event during the divorce negotiations and had prepared for it. Of course, my Ex objected. Like your fiance's Ex, he asked for the intervention of a child psychologist.

And I completely agreed. Actually, I thought it was a good idea to talk to a psychologist about how best to structure the move and subsequent long-distance visitation to get the best outcome for our child. Isn't that what you want too? In our case, the psychologist didn't really want to talk to the child -- The point was about how WE, the adults, should behave, not about therapy for the kid.

Your concerns about "medical-izing" the situation for the children is valid. But their father's concern is also real. It's not JUST a legal strategy or defensive maneuver. I'd suggest you agree to a few visits for the ADULTS, and agree to CONSIDER a few visits for the children later if the psychologist feels it's warranted.

Just another view...if the divorce decree states that neither parent shall have paramours over night while the child/children are present, then that would be an obstacle if you planned on all of you guys staying in the same home? motel room? during these visits.

In my state, the improved well being of the child must be substantial in order for the court to approve it - for instance, if their financial status went from the poverty level to reasonably comfortable. The well being of the adults involved is irrelevant. My understanding is that the courts often deny the request, even when the distances are not great.

OK, I guess I am still in need of clarification on some things. (sweeby, thank you for your input, it was great to read and makes me feel much more comfortable taking that step). First, we have already gone through the process allowing "overnights" and were very careful about following the rules, as well as handling things properly for all the children. That is not at issue in all of this. Second, we have already gone through the legalities of well being, state laws, etc, and are covered there. The issue again is about putting the BD at ease and validating to him that the things we are doing are not harming the children, but rather well thought out for their welfare. What we are looking for are things from a third party talking about how best to move a family, how best to structure it, how best to handle visitations with their BD, etc. Finding things like this would help us validate to him that we are putting the girl's best interest first. And if they don't validate our steps, then as responsible parents we will have a better understanding of the things that we need to do better or differently. Either way, we will have a much better understanding of how to proceed.

This bio dad has you jumping thru hoops. Why don't you and the girl's mom go talk to a counselor about the possible difficulties in a blended family. Talk to the counselor about how you would handle things that may come up. When the counselor tells you have a good understanding and a good plan for dealing with any difficulties that could come up, then you and she will be confident, and just tell him everything will be fine. It is as if this guy is telling you you have to pass some sort of inspection before you can marry and move. Which really isn't reasonable is it?
There is no reason to put a child in counseling if she has no problems to begin with, is there, either.
You so obviously have this little girl's best interests at heart or you wouldn't be asking all these questions and willing to do this.
You sound like you are going to be a great step dad. Congratulations.

If he is not utilizing his visitation now when they are in the same state and you have provided a new visitation schedule with your end paying for all costs... It then becomes obvious that it isn't actually about the "welfare" of the children. It is about relinquishing control. I do think counseling would be helpful though... it is extremely hard to bled a family. (No matter how well you get along now) living together is totally different. It sounds as if you guys are being more than fair, looking out for his rights as well as what is right for the girl's. In most cases as long as a judge can see that he would allow the move. Especially since the father already intends to move out of state in the future as well. I am very happy to see you taking such an active part in this situation and trying to help your partner with the stress of it all. You are going to be a wonderful step-parent.