Oh yes... as way to thank me for cleaning their carpet, the aunt who I cleaned for (neighbors to the ones who raised me) gave me a bread maker! I don't want one, as I only like wonder bread and don't have room for a stand alone bread maker. However, my friend Larry has been looking for one with dual paddles... I told him I thought Zorusshi was the old brand that had that.... well this one is a front loading West Bend and it does have dual paddles! He's excited! My aunt had two, and she can't use them anymore since she's almost blind now due to diabetes so she just gave it to me... I'd mentioned that I lost my bread maker when my last microwave died... she took that as saying, "If you have an extra one, I want it!".... I'm glad she did!

Oh, Bobby, you are too funny!!! I love reading about your adventures with your family! What riches you have, and while I can totally understand how *frustrating* things can be, you've managed to put a humorous spin on them!

There are always certain people in my circle of family and friends who take the word "might" and translate that, in their own brain, to "will for sure!" Ohhh, I learned the hard way and now I don't make any statements that will get me into hot water with myself! ha ha

Cast iron skillet, electric coil range, double-knobbed oven and critters in the cabinets! You did so good with what you had--great thinking on your feet for everything, and hey, it's always good to wash things first.

Your lasagna is now the stuff of legend in your family, I'm sure, and *sorry* to say, I sense another lemon juice-apple pie from your uncle in your future!

Smiles,
Sooz

That is a great story, Bobby. You'll remember that lasagna more vividly than countless ''better'' ones you've made before. Plus, it was probably the best lasagna your granny has had in a long time, maybe ever.

Wondeful story Bobby! It is always so entertaining to read your adventures. Glad to hear everything went well and you enjoyed the visit.

Alexa

What a fantastic story Bobby!
Love the Redneck comments!

We just moved to a different apartment, and coming from one with a newer electric stove, we now have the one like you mentioned-- 2 knobs to turn it on. I just leave it on Bake all the time, then I don't forget.

You made some wonderful memories and your family will be talking about that day for a long time, which is what it's all about.

"----I wasn't in the mood to be happy! ---"

Priceless line! Many people can relate instantly to that mind set.

dcarch

Wonderful story! Your writing style made me feel like I was right there with you!

I have a confession to make. I always hand wash my dishes. I bought the house I am living in just over 10 years ago. The dishwasher is loud and uses a ton of water. After two months I started washing everything by hand and I really enjoy it. I'm gearing up to remodel the kitchen as I am close to finally landing a job. I will replace all the appliances - but I think I will still be doing the dishes by hand.

What a great story, Bobby! You really have the knack for writing and story telling. Maybe you should consider expanding on this talent?

Families are such a great source of love/frustration/humor all at once! Your friends here can certainly relate to trying to cook in a strange kitchen!

Teresa

Bobby, you are the best! And I'm sure you showed your family the Bobby we know and love. I'm also sure that they didn't appreciate the challenges that you overcame with with a strange ill-equipped kitchen, but we do.

Cathy

Bobby, Blessings to you for helping out your family. I too have recently connected with a few family members. Not always an easy feeling going through new circumstances that you have no idea what is going to happen. Loved reading your story, gave me a smile for the day!
I am sure your family will be asking for more lasagna. Maybe a traveling cooking kit could be put together.

By the way who are the music artist of the praise and worship songs you listen to? We enjoy Casting Crowns, Chris Tomlin, Todd Agnew, Mercy Me, Seventh Avenue North and Newsboys.

Thanks everyone! All great responses, but Sooz yours truly made me smile! Cathy, I think I need a session in "gadget filled" kitchen to get over that experience with granny *wink*

Jasdip, that's a great idea about the selector knob, and if I lived in an a place with that kind, I'd instinctively do the same thing!

Teresamn, lots of people enjoy hand washing... they find the ritual soothing or therapeutic or something... I'm not one of them. I think growing up without a dishwasher had something to do with it. I need Cascade, Sani-scrub, and heated dry :o) I do wash the non-serrated knives and juicer by hand, but they aren't dishes, and I hate every second of it. Granny said she enjoys washing the dishes because she can look out the window and see the pond... more power to her! When I stand at my sink, my back is to the kitchen window and I'm facing my little army of soldiers (the vacuum collection), and thinking, "Man, I could be making "cleaning competition" videos for my Youtube channel instead of doing this!"

Thanks about the writing, I try to have fun with it :o)

Trudy, a traveling cooking kit would be a great idea. Unless I get pulled over and cop sees an 8 inch chef's knife on the passenger seat and asks me why I'm carrying a weapon :o) You truly know good music! My favorites are Hillsong, Need to Breathe and Twila Paris. I think I had on "Only the Blood" by Brian Doerkson when the sinking feeling came on yesterday. Despite not having been treated well as a gay person by other people who enjoy/promote/produce that kind of music, and not believing most of what it's about or at least questioning it, I just can't let it go.... it's the only kind of music I listen to, and I truly adore it! Just takes me to a whole 'nother place! Great for cleaning, driving, working out... Have to be careful when driving or I'm likely to hit a telephone pole and find out if what they sing about is true or not... I get a little crazy with good music! I did get a speeding ticket one time... I almost forwarded it to Hillsong since it was really their fault :o)

Bobby, you tell a great story! I always enjoy reading about your "adventures". You make me smile! And what a nice thing for you to do for your granny.

I have had the same type electric range (mine is a JennAir)you were cooking on for over 20 years. I still use an iron skillet for a lot of things but I have others too. Don't want any critters in the cabinets though.

Rednecks could fit me and my family, I guess. We do have a lot of fun and we're right in the middle of redneck country.

You can come to my house and make lasagna anytime and I'll wash the dishes, but I do have a dishwasher. And...you won't have to bring any cooking equipment.

jude

Bobby, I loved the story! What memories you have created, not just for you, but for your family also. With your wonderful style of writing, you might think about getting your granny to tell you stories of her growing up years, and more if she will, and record them while she does. Then you can write them. I know my kids and I would love it if I could get my parents to do it. I try to remember the ones my dad tells, cause I always forget my mini recorder, which I would have to hide or he wouldn't tell any!

As for the 8" chef's knife on the seat, as long as the blade is protected and the knife in plain sight, they can't get you for a concealed weapon. Just put it in the back seat. And if it's in the "kit" with your other cookware, ect., you can probably even have it in the trunk. If you think there might be a problem, just tell the officer up front that you have a chef's knife in the car and where it is. I wrap a sharp knife in paper towels and put it in the picnic basket with out another thought, and I don't mean paring knife either!

Tami

: )

Uncle probably has an air leak in his primary fermenter or he is leaving it in the primary after fermentation is done. The sour taste is vinegar in the making... it won't hurt you but as you noted not delicious.

: )
lyra

Bobby, you are a good person. I think you should write a book on your family adventures! At least a blog!

If you haven't already tuned in to see the show Justified on the FX network you should do so. It is a show about Harlan Kentucky and it brings to mind your funny relatives!

..you know you're a redneck when:

You help your richest relative move ...but you have to take the wheels off first!

Duane

You all are the best!

Just to give you an visual of the kind of kitchen I was cooking in, THIS is Granny's microwave. I actually took the picture to share with vintage appliance enthusiasts.... it truly must be the first one ever made. The numbers "flip" like the old alarm clocks... it's crazy!

OH that microwave is funny! We have one kinda like that in our basement for a spare in case of an emergency...HA!

Next time...just make yourself repair the dish at your house and take it there and bake it only! :) You'll thank yourself in the end!

I'm sure all that lemon juice killed whatever germs were on his hands. . . :-P

You write so well, and your story made me smile.

I was out of the loop and didn't know that you had reunited with your family -- I'm very happy to hear that.

As a recent convert to the kind of lasagna noodles you used, I find they make the process so much easier and am pleasantly surprised at how well they turn out.

It certainly sounds awkward, cooking in granny's kitchen, but you really made the best of it. (Love the microwave!)

Just as a side note about the noodles. The very first lasagna I ever made some 20 plus years ago was called Virginia's easy lasagna on the box of some lasagna noodles. You do not cook the noodles first and it was fantastic. I suppose the recipe uses more liquid. I don't know if these new noodles are anything special but you don't have to use special noodles...just more liquid.

To add to arkansas girl's message - I've never yet used the no-cook noodles - I only use the regular lasagna noodles and add water to the sauce - generally I use 1/2 the amount of water as sauce. Never turned out a bad lasagna yet.

It was fun reading the description of your time with family...

Helene

Bobby, you are a hoot! I know that I've said this before, but you have an exceptional talent for storytelling. Please keep writing! And you're a good guy for hanging with Granny AND cleaning the family's carpets!

Great tale of cooking adventures! Your family sounds hilarious, and the lasagne sounds delicious.

You're a good grandson/nephew for making the trip and the food.

Another one adding an 'excellent writing' kudos. Have you considered taking a creative writing class at a local community college and see where it takes you?

I am glad, you didn't make the lasagna ahead of time. We wouldn't have this great story to read.

Loved the line about needing to wash the dishes first... I always felt that way at my grandmas house.

Moni

Bobby, you sure made the best out of a less than ideal cooking adventure and I'm sure your Grandma is going to love that coffeemaker. And the clean carpets. I really think that it's the time with you that she loves the most, though.

Yeah, I have relatives like that too and I love them to pieces, but there are days when they just make me smile, especially my Aunt LulaBelle.

Annie

Another great Bobby story.
Cooking is love....and don't you forget it!
I am sure Granny and the cousins by the dozens enjoyed your efforts!
Linda C

Bobby, great artists in your collection also. Bruce saw Hillsong in concert and thought they had a great testimony and awesome music.
Just remember God loves everyone!
Like LindaC said, Cooking is love......

Thanks, Trudy. I don't know much about Hillsong as people, but man when they do Trading my Sorrows, Every Move I Make, Awesome in This Place, and This is How We Overcome I can clean anything or run miles just listening and singing along!

Annie, I remember some of your family adventures... I don't know if your family can be called redneck though if you are from "up north"! :)) With a name like Aunt Lulabelle, she has to be precious!

Arkansasgirl, when I was in home ec (way back in 1997 or something) the teacher made a lasagna with the regular noodles, but didn't boil them. Hers was great, but my noodles never got done for some reason... nothing worse than crispy lasagna noodles! I did so love every second of that class, however!

Below is the link to that recipe for lasagna without cooking the noodles first. Apparently is was on Skinner lasagna noodles box years ago.

Here is a link that might be useful: Virginia's easy lasagna

The best lasagna I've ever made was in the Nesco using regular noodles. Diluted the sauce with a bit of water (or was it beer?), had plenty of sauce and of course the Nesco keeps it moist. In the oven, cover the noodles with sauce, cover the pan with foil (tightly sealed) and bake it. Several people I know and have read who've used the no-boil don't like the texture. Never tried them, probably never will. But my lasagna is generally quite expensive. But really, it feeds a lot of people, or a few people a lot of times and hey, good is good, you need to treat yourself right on occasion.

When I'm going to cook elsewhere I usually bring cookware, utensils and definitely spices. I never assume anything. And I had the reverse experience cooking at my brother's place and a friend's cabin, both of which had cheap gas stoves while I was used to a pretty good electric stove.

My old stove had two ovens, the top one had just one ordinary dial while the bottom one had the temperature separate, but the knob was a choice of preheat and bake, and I think there was another option or two but I can't remember what it was right now. I replaced it just short of a year ago. The worst part of it was the corningware top on it. Awful.

Prewash dishes? Often! Especially at my dad's. My sister an I would occasionally go over when he was away and do some cleaning. One vivid memory was cleaning the stove. Reminder to people with gas stoves with pilot lights: Aerosol Dow Bathroom Cleaner, now known as "Scrubbing Bubbles" *likes* pilot lights. Very much. Whoa, very very much. I have grown back my eyebrows. But it was a sight to behold. Flames reminded me of campfires I used to build...

Oh, I think I remember at least one of the other positions - timed bake. It didn't have a self cleaning so that wasn't it. I didn't use the bigger oven very often so I don't really remember it much.

But I do have to wonder, since you were traveling to the land of where yur bruther's yur cuzin! uh, didn't you pick up some roadkill along the way to cook up fer the kinfolk?

And BTW, I've owned and used microwaves of that vintage. I usually liked using them.

Hope she likes the Bunn coffeemaker. When I tried to show my dad how to use the Norelco coffeemaker I had given my mother years before, (pour water in here, insert filter & put some coffee in here and flip this switch), his response? Oh... that's too much fussing... I don't tink I'll be using dat'n. So he occasionally used a little stovetop percolator. Or had an excuse to go out "for coffee". Argh!

And I can't believe you didn't ask for the pie recipe! Don't you know you're supposed to *share*?