Houzz Logo Print

Don't know whether to laugh or scream!!!

14 years ago

So, I've written about all the drama with my SD's BM for what seems like forever. I've been frustrated by her lack of interest in parenting her daughter, while criticizing me for any parenting I do. I'm frustrated that she called CPS on us and has insisted on us taking SD to the doctor for things that SHE should have taken her for, because she doesn't want to pay the copay. Now, it's only going to get worse, we lost our insurance on the first of January. and it's frustrating that she hasn't willingly paid a penny in support since her daughter has lived with us... we got one check when her taxes were intercepted.... a whopping $167.

But that isn't why I am venting today. Along with everything else, she has even pushed the responsibility (and expense) of picking her daughter up, off on her mom. (who BTW does it because she has always enabled her daughter to be this way) She isn't working and there is no reason for her mom to pick up her daughter for her except she is either too lazy, getting her daughter herself isn't a top priority for her, and it saves her money. (at least that's the reason she uses.. saves money, even though she hasn't sent us any of the money she is saving!)

So, here's the problem: Several weeks ago, just after Thanksgiving, DH told BM that grandma cannot get SD for her, she has to pick her up herself. He said that if she was paying her support and more involved in doing what she is supposed to be doing for her daughter, he might do her a 'favor' in letting her mom come get SD, but since BM has done NOTHING she is supposed to and even went as far as telling family support that she didn't want to get a job & she didn't need to work because her BF makes plenty of money to support her. So, DH has basically had BM fighting him tooth & nail EVERY week about allowing her mom to pick up SD. The last bout was in December when DH told her no & she spent an entire day calling and sending text messages. Her mom has gotten into the action and called DH, yelling at him that he is denying her grandchild to her and they told him they would have me arrested for kidnapping if I didn't allow grandma to take her from the school. (DH had told her that I will be at the school and if BM is not there, SD will come home with me until BM gets there) Then DH got a text from BM's mom saying she was picking her granddaughter up... period. He wrote back, not unless you have the money BM owes me. Well, BM then calls DH to tell him that whatever he wrote to her mom , caused her mom to collapse at work and had to be taken by ambulance. Well, her mom is in her 70's and if that was too stressful for her, DH says he no longer wants SD in a car driven by her unless she has a doctor's statement assuring him she is okay. Then, BM called our attorney saying it was 'urgent'. We explained the situation to our attorney who then called BM to tell her she needs to follow the order, which says to pick up her own child. We don't have to do her any 'favors'. When our attorney told her that, she finally relented and picked up her own daughter. (that was the day she snapped at her daughter because we weren't at home when she got there five minutes early and we were two minutes late getting back)

Well, we got our attorney's bill today and that phone call costs us another $120. I'm not thrilled about it but I figured it was money well spent if it gets the message across that she needs to follow the order and realize that if she wants favors, she needs to do more than be a thorn in our side. No sooner did I have that thought... my DH calls me to tell me he just got a text message from BM's mom. She writes: "I want to pick up SD tomorrow."


He asks me what I think and I tell him, well we're paying our attorney $120 to tell her 'follow the order' but it's up to you. He says he's concerned she might 'collapse' if he responds so he isn't going to respond. I told him that he's already stated his position, he's paid the attorney to state his position, and unless he's going to give in and change his mind, what's the purpose of responding. He is also upset that the last bout of text messages cost him $14.50 since he doesn't have a text plan. (he doesn't want to get one because he doesn't text... It's usually BM that sends him texts and he doesn't want to encourage that.. she texts me so much, I have to delete them to get new ones)

I'm just venting since there is no reasoning with an unreasonable person. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree with BM and her mom. It's like nothing penetrates their heads!!!

Comments (23)

Michael Nash Design, Build & Homes
Average rating: 4.9 out of 5 stars237 Reviews
Northern Virginia Design Build Firm | 15x Best of Houzz