It really seems that something psychologically is going on with your step-daughter, with that said I would suggest that the next time that you talk to her, if you do that you ask her "how can I make you more comfortable"?

I really advise you to show some concern with her and be careful in how you speak with her. When you are to talk to her, it would be safer to allow her to do more of the talking and you listening. This is going to be a hard task for you, but know that you have done nothing wrong.

Make sure that you allow yourself to grieve and keep talking to the friend's or family that you do have. If you have a friend that would allow you to vent to them about your step-daughter then this would be really good for you.

I would advise you also to consult with a lawyer in regards to the will. They do not have any right to what is rightfully yours. Also to take care of the thing with your step-daughter lying about you not giving her anything, you could always pack up a box of stuff, write a letter saying that you care about her and feel her father would have wanted her to have these items and then send them to her certified.

I know what I am saying my be hard to swallow, but if you are not careful with your step-daughter and family, there will be big problems, as they have already started. No matter how hard it is, sometimes it is best to grit your teeth and show some feelings of care toward the person that is trying to make your life a living hell and see where that takes you. Please make sure you have someone to vent to while doing this, or you will end up hurting yourself more.

I would see a lawyer, tell him what is going on and listen to his advice, then decide for yourself. You know the daughter better than we do. Personally I think it is just pure selfishness on the daughter's part. I have been warned by a step daughter in law that my husbands daughters will cause me problems when he dies. Everything is in my name by right of survivorship, so there will be no estate. I will tell them right up front you will not get anything as long as I am alive because I may need it to live on. You will get your shares after I die, but only if you don't fight for it now. I also kept a journal of my life with John.

My late husband predicted I would go through a very tough time with his family when he passed, and believe me they have not disappointed.Before he died we set up a trust to be inherited by all five children when I die, but I am having second thoughts about maintaining it. My SD knows about the trust, but since there is no money NOW she's not interested in hearing about it. I am beginning to worry, given her violent rantings. I have already given boxes and boxes of items to my step son, as well as his dad's jewelry. He isn't telling his family because he doesn't want them jumping on him, so I am basically being fed to the sharks. I think the SD is upset with him because his father had a very small bank acct. for him from childhood. What my SD doesn't know is that from the insurance money I received I had to payback $17K for a college loan her father had taken for her. She seems to be under the impression that we had that kind of money in the bank, and she has no idea about the loan. I would have liked to pay off his car, but had to pay the loan instead. I had also packed up all of the things I was giving to her but when I couldn't be home at the moment she wanted to pick them up she began verbally abusing me. During a two hour period (I was on my first outing since he died)she called my cell phone approx. 40 times trying to get me to come home to give her what I had packed up. I had volunteered to leave them with her brother or outside the garage (it's a very private neighborhood and I knew they would be safe), but she declined both of these ideas, and I still don't know why. I have tried talking with her..asking what she would like to see happen etc., but she just screams obscenities and degrades me with name calling. During her last phone call she kept screaming at me about how she and her brother just want to be done with me and have me out of their lives for good. I am willing to do this with her, but after speaking with my SS he declares it is not what he wants. He doesn't want to suffer her wrath or his mom's so I doubt he will stand up to them and tell them about any of the things I have done for him since his dad passed. The most frustrating part of all of this is the lies and delusions the SD is spreading. I feel like she is trying to bully me by this abusive behavior.

I feel for you. I Plan to move out of state if I outlive my husband. I have had my fill of them, never want to see them again. We were married 33 years and they still don't think I am entitled to it. If I were you, I would get an unlisted phone number and a restraining order. I would do tomorrow.

Unfortunately it is clear that your step-daughter is suffering from some mental illness. There are ways in dealing with people like that, you could either call the police, which they will want proof that she is harassing you or you could try a sort of technique. It is really hard to understand why you would want to do this, but trust me it will work with due time.

You seem like a strong woman that could handle employing such a technique, so if your thinking that you could try anything about now, why not? The next time that she is to call you and say that she is sick of dealing with you, say to her "I don't blame you" When she calls you names, say something along the lines that I know, aren't I?

In doing this, she will notice that it does not hurt you to call you names and eventually it will cease. If she is really crazy, she may even start to think that you are and eventually it will cease. This really should work, if you do it right. Your just showing the person that you are comfortable with yourself and taking everything that they say onto yourself no matter how much it hurts (w/o showing them it hurts) and eventually they grow bored of talking to you in that manner. I can't say that she will stop talking to you all together, but it should get her to stop the obscenities.

Thanks for the support. I have changed the locks and the security codes to the house and garage. If I continue to receive the phone calls I will try to employ the idea of agreeing with her and see where that leads. I have begun a collection of letters and voice mails that I will use as evidence if I need to acquire a restraining order, or if I pursue a harassment suit. I do appreciate the help I have received here.

I'am so sorry for the loss of your husband! You are a bigger person then I'am that's for sure. If I was already suffering grief the last thing I'd put up with is more from his daughter. I'd probably tell her that if she wants everything she's been saying to be true (the not letting her in the house and giving her his things) that it can certainly be arranged!
If I was you,I'd probably sell the house and move~where none of the in-laws COULD harass me.
I also dont think they have a leg to stand on in court as far as you getting everything.That is why wills are made,and his daughter is 29, not 9,although she may act differently.

Try to hang in there,the best thing you can do is just distance yourself from the likes of all of them. What you had with your husband sounds very special and it is their loss for not being a bigger part of his life.

The last time I moved I got an unlisted number for several reasons, but mainly because of my sons. My Mom got a call from the youngest one, I was lucky my Sis answered the phone. He said he wanted to come home and stay few days. My Sis called me and said you really should talk to him, never turn your back on your kids. HA! I told her he just wanted money. When he called back, she said you can come for a visit and stay at Grandmas and your mom can come here to see you. WOW, my Sis found out in a hurry why I got an unlisted number. She said he's not ready to see you, what ever that means. I am certainly not ready to see him.

Wow! When I read this yesterday, my first thought was to have a family meeting where you would explain the arrangements that had been made for your and your husband's estate --

That you two had discussed it long ago (pre-cancer), and had decided that what was yours before marriage was intended for your children; what was his prior to marriage was intended for his children, and what was acquired jointly throughout the course of the marriage was for the surviving spouse to live on, then be divided fairly between all of the children on the death of the surviving spouse. Simple, logical, and totally fair - right?

You could still put something to that effect in a registered letter and send it to all of them, pre-alerting the 'nice ones' as to what you're doing and why. (And DO tell the SD about the college loan -- she's clearly feeling very slighted.)

But it sounds like this daughter has gone over the bend... Definitely keep records and evidence, and keep a copy 'off site' in case anything happens.