Something I figured a while back was to not worry about what kind of homes your guests are coming from. I have quite a few friends and family who live in much bigger/nicer homes and drive much nicer cars, but these are things...they don't make my friends and vice versa. Thankfully we all love each other regardless and just enjoy being together in any of our homes. Your friends will admire the fact that you are renovating your basement and will look forward to seeing the finished product. Just make sure the house is clean and be happy to have these wonderful people celebrate your husband's birthday with you. I'm not saying that we shouldn't want to have a lovely home, just don't measure your's to any one else's.

As far as planning a Caribbean themed party, I'm not much help. BUT, I would say just decorate the table area where the cake/food will be. Don't worry about doing areas all over the whole house or even a whole room. Maybe play some reggae music in that room too. Use some coconuts, pineapples, citrus fruits, shells and flowers to decorate the table. Some stores where I live are selling palm plants super cheap...maybe you can find some in your area and tuck one in a corner. If you can't find a decorative fishing net, possibly some burlap draped on the table would be a good substitute (it's cheap).

A Caribbean theme--that sounds fun! I like bleigh's idea of some reggae music....or maybe some Jimmy Buffett. How about a nice coconut-y aroma (like suntan oil smell) in the air. Use the fruit as already suggested for table centerpiece or decoration, and it's not wasted money since you can eat it later.

Relax and have fun--your guests will take your lead.

I feel your pain as we, too, have a lot of friends who live in a much more exclusive part of town in their McMansions. But the love you feel for your home will come through with all you've done to it and, as bleigh said, your friends are your friends, no matter what kind of house you live in.

I think we are always harshest on ourselves.

Love the idea of reggae music. If you have any stashes of bright colored material maybe you could use it to drape some things?

I know it's hard, but try to relax and enjoy yourself.

Hi artlover,

Please don't feel bad in any way about your home for the party. It's the people that make the party. If you have good food and a clean, fun place to be, it will be great! Plus, remember everything is relative. Your friends' "McMansions" can be dwarfed by the homes of the rich and famous. At some point, we need to learn that it's not getting what we want, but wanting what we've got that's important.

Our house is bigger than those of most of our families (and I sure hope they don't feel their homes are inadequate by comparison, because they're not, or conversely, that ours is a "McMansion"), but I honestly would LOVE to be invited to a party - any party! We have a child with autism, and I will tell you that we seldom get invited anywhere, and when we do, we usually can't all go as a family anyway. One of us stays behind to take care of our son, who often can't behave appropriately in social situations.

The relationships among friends and family are more important than anything.

The Carribean theme sounds like a lot of fun. Have you checked out the Oriental Trading Company for supplies and favors?

Jan

Here is a link that might be useful: Oriental Trading Company

Love Oriental Trading Company! Wonderful suggestions here. If you can find a few inexpensive grass skirts you could 'skirt' your table w/ them.

A wise GW'er once posted that hte best way to freshen up a home is to clean, clean, clean it. Then set out some flowers from your garden. No garden or not enough flowers? Ask friends and neighbors if you might cut a flower or two.

Hey - along that line of thinking maybe some friends and neighbors may have some things that you can borrow.

Try not to care about your friends McMansions. You never know what they may be thinking about their own house. Like 'My McMansion looks like everyone else's. I wish it stood apart from the crowd.'

Artlover, I once had a Christmas party in the middle of a major kitchen renovation. The place was gutted at the time. I put a piece of plywood over the hole in the floor and then put a big table over it and covered it in food. I draped everything in white Christmas lights, including the piles of construction materials. And I put on the music. We must have had a hundred people there and people still talk about what a good party it was. I think, to be honest, that people felt more relaxed because it wasn't a "perfect space." We were showing our imperfection and so they felt more comfortable showing theirs.

Remember, no one is coming to your house because they want to visit a decorating magazine. They want to visit you. And the kind of people who would be snobby about it, well... do you really want to be friends with them anyway?

As Bob Marley would say...No woman, no cry...I wouldn't worry about having to "spread out" because you should always have a party be a little bit (not TOO much) crowded-makes for more interactions and seems more festive-people mingle and move around. It is rare that all 20 will be in one room anyway, even if you had a room that would hold them! If they wander downstairs, I am sure they will understand it is a work in progress.

Relax, have fun, and happy 60th to your DH! Sounds like it will be a grand party.

A beautiful, impressive home can often be daunting for guests, a beautiful welcome is what we all really want IMO.

I think everyone will be too busy enjoying your colorful, vibrant, happy Caribbean party and the warmth of your and your husband's hospitality to judge your decor.
Steel drum music?

Oh, and another thing I thought of regarding space for your company would be the use of outdoor areas. Can you use your yard or patio as an extension of your indoor space?

Thanks, everyone for your encouragement. I've been cleaning downstairs all day and will conquer the upstairs tomorrow. You all have given me some great ideas! I happen to have tons of clear class hurricanes, floating candles and votive holders from our wedding a few years ago. I had forgotten all about them. I think with candles, fresh flowers and fruit I can pull it off! I may try to add some tiny white lights somewhere, and DH had already thought of the Caribbean music and will take care of that. He is like a kid about this party. He's been telling me for a year that he wanted a party for his 60th. Thank goodness it didn't have to be a surprise!!!

I'll try to post some pictures next week.

i think it's amazing what festivity white lights create!! i would use some indoors and outdoors around deck if you plan to be outside too. with all your decorating hints, it'll be fantastic!

Target has some nice acrylic plates in bright colors, I think Walmart does too. Or get the nice plastic, disposable ones in bright colors. White lights, burlap tablecloths, a funky straw hat for your DH, music, lots of fruit (put some lemons and limes is clear container),flowers, punch, ice tea, food...

Sounds like FUN to me! Get some disposable cameras or ask a few people to bring their digital cameras and designate them as photographers. My sister and husband took lots of pictures of our last party and it was great to send them out via email afterwards.
Diane

don't forget yourselves!! Tie on a sarong and stick a hibiscus blossom behind your ear (and hubby's too. . .at least for a little bit!!)

A pretty house does not a party make~great food/drink, good conversation, and an honest appreciation for the guests are of most importance. However, being women, we always want everything perfect, or close to it. Go for ambience lighting~~ have lots of candles in orange/lime/yellow/turquoise/hot pink to help with the Carribean theme. Instead of turning up the lights all the way, keep them dimly lit. I find it more relaxing when a room isn't lit up like a Christmas tree, as well as somewhat romantic. Hey, a little romance on the islands is always a good thing! ;o)

I am not sure why you think you don't have room for twenty people? I have found that everyone gathers around the food. If there is food in the kitchen and dining/living area that is where they will be! Years ago, I had over 30 people in a small apartment. It works! The smaller the space almost forces people to socialize more. I personally do not think that any of your adult guests will wander down to the basement. Maybe kids might. So, relax and take all your "garden weber" friends advise and enoy this special day with your husband. Don't go over board with the decorations: music and a few cute themed items is enough.

A lot of the ambiance is created by the lighting, so if possible, I'd put the lights down low and use colorful paper lanterns or lots of tiny lights. That will help the mood as well as helping to camouflage the house. You can find cute outdoor string lights (probably on clearance) at most stores or go to a party supply store. Have fun!

Jan, smooches. I went from the always invite list to the "avoid like the plague" list when DS was ill for his first few years. We still are somewhat flaky because DS gets sick so often so we don't get invited as much as we used to and as you know, it would be nice to get away when possible!

artlover, our house in alaska is very "normal". A 2100 sq ft townhouse. There we invite and entertain and we're invited to others places that are much grander than our home and I never feel like anyone is judging me by my house. Nor did I judge by theres. See above...we just like a good party!!!

But since we moved here we have had parties and people are intimidated about coming because it's a big victorian house. And when we've been invited to things the invite invariably includes some kind of statement like "our house is simpler than yours but we'd love to have you". So speaking for the mcmansion owners (ours is a victorian...but still really...one of the original mcmansions LOL) I would love to be invited and NOT hear those words nor make a hostess think she has to alter her world to entertain us! I'm guessing if these are friends, they probably feel the same way and would hate to think you're stressed out because your happy meal house isn't living up to the big mac mansion :oP And if they don't....screw them :) They're not worth entertaining!

As to decor...lots of candles...IKEA baby! They have beautiful vanilla colored candles you can decorate with that are gorgeous and really inexpensive. Sea shells in bowls would be good with a candle in the middle. Stuff like that :)

Sounds like a fun party. Loosen up and don't worry about the size of your house...isn't there a saying about that...size does not matter?????

And being a new mcmansion owner let me tell you...I'm probably going to go to the party and envy you your lack of a dozen freaking bathrooms and far too much house to clean every day! DH has been laughing because I keep showing him cape cods under 1200 sq ft LOL

Great suggestions so far. Serve good food and snacks and delicious beverages. Play the music low so it won't overtake the conversations. Be sure you have plenty of toilet paper and clean towels in the bathroom and don't worry about the house. It is all about the people...mingle and introduce people all around. You will find most folks congregate in groups of twos and threes to talk, so small groups of chairs will be supportive of conversation. People will remember you and the fun they had with everyone, not what color the walls are or if there are one too many cobwebs. Relax and have fun!!!

We've pretty much been under construction for 10 years! After putting off having a big pool birthday party for my DD for several years because I was embarrased that our house still wasn't "done," I finally had enough with waiting, mopped up the concrete slab flooring, and just started entertaining.

Even though we lived without flooring and even walls for much too long, and a lot of our furniture was in storage until just a few months ago, we've been known as the "party house" amongst all of our friends for a few years now. We have a pool and plenty of space for the kids to run around. Add in some good food and drink and who cares if our only stereo system is my DH's garage boombox because the media wall isn't done yet?

We had a great New Year's Eve party and everyone danced on the concrete floor in front of our big screen tv, which was on top of a Costco fold out table. Friends have teased us a bit b/c of our DIY and perfectionist tendencies, which is why this project's taking so long, but it's all in good fun.

Don't wait until your house is perfect to entertain and don't feel like everything in your home has to be perfect to live up to someone else's standards. Your friends won't judge you - they'll just enjoy your company!

Sounds like a great plan...relax, have a glass of wine and enjoy! Happy B'day to your hubby!

You guys are wonderful. I feel so much better now.

I read your posts to DH last night and he was astounded by all the good advice and touched that "strangers" would care.

Now back to cleaning....

Don't forget the tiki torches!! I sometimes reference this site as a sort of checklist. It helps to have a guide and this has great ideas for parties from soup to nuts! Have a great time and take some pictures!

Here is a link that might be useful: Luau

If you have a Big Lots near you, then everything you need will be there! They have an entire section of Luau type decorations. Everything from plates to coconut tops!!!

I'm sorry when is the party, this weekend? I think candles and white lights are magic and can set the stage for a good time.

But I understand your concern, as I too stress over parties, I'm the worse. And they always come out nice, all that stress for nothing. Why do we do that? Life could be so much easier without it.

It makes it fun when your husband is so excited and you get to please him. Happy 60th birthday husband!
And don't forget to have fun yourself!

.....Jane

....Jane

Everyone has covered all the important things.

So I'll remind you of something else...everything we think of as Caribbean color and fun describes the culture of very poor people! It's about music and food and flowers and dancing...and good rum. A couple of Mount Gay and tonics with a squeeze of good lime, and nobody will notice that you are not up to your ears in Louis-by-the-numbers!

(In the interest of accuracy, I might point out that luaus and grass skirts are Hawaiian/Pacific islanders, not Caribbean...in case this matters to you!)

Sounds like you're on your way to a wonderful time! Can we come??

I remember reading an interesting article about throwing parties. The author pointed out that most of the guests coming are probably feeling a little ill-at-ease when they arrive. If you just try to concentrate on making them feel comfortable, you will most likely relax and have fun yourself.

Good food, dim lighting, nice conversation and lively music = a good party! (Jimmy Buffet is always good for setting a tropical vibe!)

The Caribbean theme was hubby's idea. I asked if he wanted the traditional black and over the hill decor and he said NO! I want it to be a celebration. I swear he has been like a kid about this party. Everyday he asks me things like, "can we have balloons" (no) "can my cake taste like wedding cake" (er, sure), and I kid you not, "are you planning games." (no to that one too.) He is a wanna be musician and is planning a little concert - he and a friend or two on guitar. And he is all over the Caribbean music to set the stage.

I have been cleaning like a crazy woman and made a trip to Party CIty today. I think I would describe our decor as somewhat subtle/sophisticated Caribbean minus grass skirts and a coconut bra.

I'm feeling much better, now thanks to all of you.

Here's a picture of my fun loving DH. Isn't he a cutie?

Has a little Raider of the Lost Ark look going there - very handsome!

Did I read that he's turning 60? I'd have never guessed that in a million years.

Have to throw in my two cents and agree with sis3 - I know when I go into a huge, beautifully decorated home I feel like mine could never live up to that standard. I tend to appreciate it but also spend time suffering from a bit of house envy and feeling like my house isn't as nice! :) So don't sweat it - everyone you invite is there for you and your husband, and I assure you are not judging your house. And YES, the white lights everywhere and some Jimmy Buffett playing...along with lots of festive drinks...everyone will relax and have a blast!

The Big Lots idea is a good one --- check and see what they have. Rum and coke, pina coladas, Jimmy Buffett (sp?), and the ceiling of your basement won't register with guests. If you are grilling, too, that takes it outside, but all good parties end up in the kitchen anyway...

I second Jimmy Buffett music, but don't forget Ziggy Marley! And don't forget the Malibu Rum~yum!

I was just at my Big Lots this week and they had bright colored candles, and tiki torches~torches were on sale. You can get paper plates/napkins there, or plastic ware in a multitude of colors. Have fun!!

You have gotten good advice and are "under control". Most people just want to be invited out for a night of fun and don't look nearly as critically at things we think they might look at. Calm your inner critic and realize that this is for your DH and it's meant to have fun.

Keep it simple and you'll enjoy yourself too! About an hour before the party STOP everything, pour yourself a nice bubble bath, take a glass of wine, light some candles and pamper yourself. You'll be far more relaxed when your guests arrive.

Enjoy!

Whenever we've been invited to a *luau*, here's what I'm thinking about on the drive there: who will end up wearing the coconut bra??!! So, have one of those fancy umbrella drinks and enjoy your guests and more importantly, your husband.

Relax and have a great time. Obviously we all want our homes to look nice but true friends don't care what you have! We are friends with a couple who are trust fund babies - seriously, no one in this family has worked for generations! There is no way we could ever come close to their standards for material things or amount of real estate (Aspen, Paris, Manhattan) but we connect on a human level and that's what matters! Have fun!

QUOTE-Keep it simple and you'll enjoy yourself too! About an hour before the party STOP everything, pour yourself a nice bubble bath, take a glass of wine, light some candles and pamper yourself. You'll be far more relaxed when your guests arrive.

Boy do I second that!!! Can't tell you how many parties I have been cleaning and setting up food right down to the wire and it takes me an hour into the party to recover...LOL. Remember, that you are a guest too, so take care of yourself. I let folks make their own drinks in my Tiki bar if they want and the guys love that. For my last party I had a huge glass beverage server full of Mai Tais and folks just grabbed a glass added the ice, a mint leaf, stir stick/straw and turned on the spicket...I even had a couple myself. :-)

I look forward to hearing how your party went...I am sure it will be loads of fun.

Artlover, you have no need to worry, the gals will all be jealous that you got the GOOD husband, he sounds and looks great!!! Happy sixtieth!!!! Have drink before they come and let the fun begin!!!

Excellent suggestion vampiressrn! When I stop an hour or so before I am much more relaxed and have a much better party!

I have enjoyed reading this post! I hope your DH has a good time at his party. Please keep us posted on how it turned out.

Have fun!!!

We're all hanging on the edge of our seats...how did it go? LOL

I'm here too late. Just want to add: What a wonderful bunch you all are! Huge hugs to all involved in reaching out to help. I agreed with the advice and am now, like everyone here, anxious to hear how it went...great, I'll bet!

And soooooooooooooo? Where are the pictures from the party?? I hope it went very well!
Diane

A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO GAVE ME SUGGESTIONS AND ENCOURAGEMENT!!!

The party was GREAT!! I hope everyone had has much fun as DH, and if they didn't, well .... it was for him.

I did a toned down Caribbean theme with candles, hurricanes, and votives I already had, a $10 bouquet of fresh flowers from the grocery store, a few silk flowers from Michaels, and plates and napkins from Party City.

I had to use the FR, kitchen, and DR for dinner seating:

DH (far left) and friends did a mini concert in our unfinished basement. Everyone was impressed with DH's brazen self confidence and my (blush) DIY talents.

http://i613.photobucket.com/download-albums/tt216/artlover13060/GreenbackDollar.mp4

Metal tubs repurposed from the laundry room to hold beer and wine:

A coffee mug has a new life as a holder for plastic ware:

Floating candles, fresh flowers, seashells make an inexpensive center piece on the card tables. Silk flowers and ribbon tie up the silverware. (I hate eating meat with plastic ware so I used the real deal for the meal.)

Here is a link that might be useful: DH sings at party

WOW...you did a great job. We are proud of you for jumping in there and making your space and decorations provide a beautiful party backdrop. Bet you are eager to do your next party already!!! LOL

Smiling here! It looks WONDERFUL! Relly - you did such a great job. Looks classy and fun!

Oh, I'm so glad you checked back in and with pics to boot!Everything looks beautiful! I especially love that floral runner! Hope you had as much fun as your guests and DH!

It's all beautiful!! I did try to see the video, but I wasn't able to open the file for some reason. But I agree with whoever said that he doesn't look 60 at all! I'm glad he had a good time (and I hope you did, too)!

What a nice job you did! I am glad that it all worked out.
Diane

Oh, what a fabulous job you did! The flowers are all lovely, and what a brilliant idea to put them everywhere. You kept it simple, and it looked so elegant and informal and festive all at the same time.

Good job you!
Of course I'm furious that you didn't invite all of us...!

Thanks, guys! As I said, everyone, esp. DH seemed to have a good time, plus we got some great follow up from the party.