Havn't heard from her or Susan for a very long time.I have Joan's email.i'll have to drop her a line or two,and ask her to drop in and say hi.I miss her also.

Also Mexico Marti and,LaurieSD,Biwako to name a few.
Kathi

We haven't fell off the face of the earth. My mother always said she had to get in the mood to sew & I couldn't understand that because I would sew all time if I didn't have other obligations. Well, life has come to the point where both of us have lost interest in sewing along with losing one of the little girls we sewed for. It's a long story so bear with me.

First, my niece who was born when I was 11 was Dxed with cancer the last of Aug of 09. She died Mar 5, 2010. We don't know for sure where her cancer started as she was stage 4 when we found out & it was all over her body. We suspect ovarian. She was too sick to operate on. Places they were able to get a biopsy showed that those places were not her primary cancer. If you have ovaries, get the BRAC test.

Teresa & her husband had adopted a special needs grand daughter who would have been 10 Aug of 2010. Teresa's worst worry about dying was her fear that Skyler wouldn't be taken care of properly. We got up to get her ready for school on March 2, 3 days before Teresa died, & Skyler was in her bed dead. The state held her body awhile..until they determined no foul play was involved. It was simply that God came & got her in the middle of the night. Teresa was conscious until she went to sleep about 1 1/2 hours before she just quit breathing so she knew Skyler had died. We were able to do a double funeral...another first for us.

I put my life on hold when Teresa was first Dxed & rescheduled so many Dr appts of my own after she died. When appts came around this year 2 a week, I was confused at first until it registered about what had happened last year making up so many at once.

I don't guess many people have ever seen a dead child at the scene of the death. We were as prepared for Teresa as you can prepare, but that child's death just really threw us for a curve. Officials came out of the cracks & crevices interviewing us. Their house is in one county but in the city limits of a town in an ajoining county. Who was responsible for her????...well whom ever was there. We have always been a close family. If she needed anything, ever who became aware of it, did whatever needed doing. Under the circumstances, the questions they asked & the answers we gave made us sound so inadequate. She was by no means negelected. Her biological mom's husband gave me fits about "rocking her & spoiling her". If I was in a rocker or on the sofa, she liked being close & I know she was confused about her grand mother being gone as she was in & out of the hospital a lot. She knew she could pile up on me where ever I was & she did. She didn't talk much but you could communicate with her. Yes or no was down pat. I knew her favorite foods & I took them to her. When grand mom was eating, I'd question her about being able to eat so & so. Before Teresa could answer, Skyler would start clapping & laughing when I mentioned a favorite of her's. Teresa would tease her saying "She is asking ME what I want not what YOU want". Of course she thought that was funny & giggled & clapped even more.

Skyler was very tall & part of her physical problems was vision & muscles in both upper & lower torso. She could put some food away but she was a very thin child. I made most of her bottoms especially school uniform things. Also, her dresses. Her heighth had her in a 12 but an 8-10 fit her body. Besides food, she loved clothes. She thought we should have fittings on every visit. I had fabric all over this house in some mode of production. I found several packs of elastic in the laundry room last week where I'd washed & dried it ready to use. I have things 3/4s made. I have things cut out & I have pre-washed fabric on the cutting table. She loved Elmo. Susan had fabric & purchased items she'd found on sale that she had bought for birthdays & Christmases coming up.

Those of us who thought we'd be left behind with her had many questions on our brain. She started her periods 4 months past her 9th birthday & she was still in diapers. Talk about a mess!!! Doctors had suggested depo vera shots or a partial hysterectomy. Those were questions Teresa was still searching her heart for proper answers for. We all had had her on our minds every waking hour for 6 months with thoughts crowding our brains about what would we should or would do & when we found her dead, it was like our brains just shut down. Susan had people ask her how it felt & she would tell them that words hadn't been invented to describe our feelings.

We both appreciate your concern & in hind sight, we should have come on here & let you know what was going on & asked for your prayers.

One thing that confused people about me & Teresa was our bond. It was more than an aunt & niece. Teresa's mother was from my dad's first marraige & her mom died when she was 15 months old. She was a senior in high school when I was a 1st grader. When Teresa came along, I didn't really know if I felt like she was my child or the little sister I never had. Of course I was sewing for her from day one. She was probably about 2 1/2 maybe 3 1/2 & such a smart kid...always was. She'd heard the word scraps as in something made for her was from scraps of something of mine or mother's. As I was sewing, mother spoiled me by allowing me to toss trimings in the floor. I still do & it drives one of my cousins crazy. Teresa asked what that was in the floor & I said "scraps". Next thing I knew, she was picking all of it up & putting each fabric in separate piles. Such little things & little piles. I asked her why she was doing that & she said she wanted to save those "scraps" so I could make her someting from them. We had to have a lesson in what scraps you saved. So many sweet memories. As she talked about her pending death...& boy did she talk, she assured us that she was not going anywhere. She said, "As long as you have a breath in your body, I'll live in your heart." Teresa was almost 13 when her sister & Susan were born. She took care of them like I took care of her as a child. We're having problems coping but her sister truely is. Susan kept telling me that Melanie was just not accepting the fact that Teresa was not going to survive & didn't until about 2 weeks before.

When you pray, remember us. Our hearts still ache. Makes you not want to out live anybody you love.

Joan,

There are just no words to express my sympathy for you and your loved ones at this time. I will definitely keep you in my prayers--sending warm, healing hugs. (((Joan)))

Valerie