Hi Clare~~I don't really have anything concrete to tell you, but I am literally going through the exact same thing. My DH's company CLOSED in October, and since he is 58 years old and was in the financial market, there is no hope of him finding another job, so we are trying to figure out how to semi-retire. For the first few months, I thought I would pull every hair out of my head. Thank God, I work full-time at a job I absolutely love, so that is a huge help. However, I, too gave him a few months to settle into a different type of living, but lately, I am getting very aggravated because since I work all day, and then come home to cook, do laundry, etc., I find that he sits at the computer or TV ALL day and does nothing. I am ready to run away. Our third son, who still lives with us (20 yrs.old) is bipolar, and my husband suffers from depression. All I can say is that you need to get out of the house a few times a week and work it out with him to help with your son. If you don't get alone time, things get tougher. I find that I am looking at my DH differently because I feel like he is just lazy. I know things will work out eventually, but if you don't make some time for yourself, it will definitely get harder. I'm sorry that I don't have anything more valuable to tell you. Hang in there, and like others have said....."in good times and bad times". Take care.

Hi all, Some find that there's been a " ... higher elevation ... " of prices ... ... of basic necessities, as well as many other things, in recent years. At least we haven't recently had to suffer the high inflation rates as in early '80s - 12% for a while. Some older folks chortle about how they made 19% on Canada Savings Bonds about 1981. When I tell them that they were lucky if they were able to keep about 2 - 3% of that, they say that I'm nuts. The income tax people want to talk to you about all of your income in any given year, and many were paying at least 25% - which reduced the 19% to about 15%, after-tax. As you know, $10,000. won't buy as much now as it would ten years ago. If you buy a guaranteed certificate at the bank, bond, etc. they guarantee to pay every borrowed dollar at maturity. But don't refer to the other guarantee - they won't pay you a single dollar more, either, above the rent on the money. So you must deduct the rate of inflation from the interest that they pay to add to the basic asset in order to maintain its purchasing power. What was the rate of inflation about 1981? About 12%, as mentioned above. Which doesn't leave much for the owner of that asset to put into her/his pocket. When governments borrow huge amonts of money, many owners of money won't lend it to them unless they offer higher rates of interest. Then the prices of goods go up. Resulting in escalating rates of inflation. I remember an old retired doctor who went to Korea to help cope with the ravages of tuberculosis just after the Korean War, who said that inflation was government theft. I disagreed heartily at the time. That was 50 years ago - I don't dispute his claim, now, having become somewhat more knowledgeable during those years: perhaps a little more cynical, as well? Happy are they who have (at least partial) indexation of pension(s). Good wishes for good health, enough to live on and good friends during retirement. ole joyful

Hi dirtgirldiana, Don't sweat it - just relax, do what you feel like, unwind. Get used to your new life. And, as the former teacher/band director now playing for himself - with some professional stuff, maybe, in future, said ... ... enjoy the journey. Go to the bathroom, look in the mirror (or, any nearby mirror'll do). Do you like the person that you see there? Give yourself a good, hard look. Smile. Give yourself a wink. Tell yourself, light-heartedly, that you're a really worthwhile person. Believe it. Maybe spend some time with the women's movement, learning to reaffirm self-worth. Also ... ... how about sitting down with hubby, sometime when he's in a good mood, rather light-heartedly saying that you're woindering whether to get supper tonight ... ... and if he asks what's going on, to suggest that you wonder whether he notices ... ... as it's been something like 2.5 years since he had anything positive to say about it. Not heavy-handedly, please. Often we can convey a message light-heartedly that comes over much differently if we get stern about it. And, usually, less effectively. Have you expressed appreciation to him for things that he's done which pleased you? Have you been making some contacts among others who are available? Making some friends? Coffee-friends .. fun-friends ... doing stuff friends. My ex-, who'd been head of food service in a substantial (psych) hosp. for about 20 years, retired about 10 years early, when there was discussion of closing her hosp. or a similar one, a few miles away ... and had 10 years to have a ball, pursuing hobbies, spending time with friends, some volunteer work, travelling FL - TX from Dec. - Mar. (and over to AZ, when our daughter lived there). Ironically, she, who'd fed millions, got colon cancer ... ... died at 66, and the kids said that, in the ordinary course of things, that she'd have retired the year before. And I added that she'd have been sick for most of that. Enjoy your new-found freedom! Use some of it to help build a happier community/nation/world, please. Good wishes as you set out on this great, new journey. Remember - when you're retired ... ... every day is holiday! ole joyful

Agree on maintenance. As for the toilet thing - enough room around the toilet - but not TOO MUCH room so that you can install a grab bar if necessary. Toilets that are ADA height at GREAT. And I also prefer ones with smooth sides that are also called 'hidden trap' - they are all smooth and don't have exposed bolts / covers and don't collet dust / crud around the base. Also - way easier to sit down / get up. My new build has 2 bedrooms that connect to the master bath. That could be separate beds if a spouse was a loud sleeper - or also could be used by a caregiver. I am going to have hard surface flooring (mostly a dog decision) but the hardness can be mitigated by having some decent "indoor shoes" (that can also help with things being slippery, etc). I have no steps from garage to house, nor from house to outside. I have 36" wide doors everywhere. We recently installed the metal door frames and it's weird now that that feels SMALL! We will also have the ability to put grab rails anywhere by using 3/4" heavy duty, marine grade plywood behind all our showers. Sheet tiles / large format porcelain / sintered material, etc. and a zero threshold shower. Handheld sprays. A tub with a ledge so you can sit and swing your legs over - but the shower is the key - it will actually hold a bathing chair AND a caregiver. My inlaws had care 24/7 for a few years. They also had a 1620's historic home. While it was their dream ho me, it was sad to see how the usable portion continued to shrink as they could no longer handle the stairs. My parent, OTOH, have a single floor condo, with a garage and a stair lift that is now allowing my Dad to be super mobile while he waits on his knee replacement surgery. It was a Godsend after Mom's hip replacement. (It also works fairly well to send up the groceries...). While their straight stairs are a design no-no, it worked well for the stair lift. I hope the best set of decisions we've made center around very low maintenance materials - metal roofing, concrete exterior, windows that are large, but not super tall, a plinth around the house to facilitate cleaning / spiderweb removal, accessible systems for HVAC, water heating, home automation, etc. Home automation that will work more and more with Alexa, Google home, Siri, etc may come in handy, too. For the kitchen - induction, as well as ovens that the doors open TO THE SIDE with ballbearing slides for the racks to make removing items easier and safer.