Deanna, I live north of you and I am deciding the same thing. I am still picking a few tomatoes each week for the markets that I sell at, but not too many. What I am planning on doing is to let the remaining tomatoes ripen up on two of the four rows and then proceed to rip them out and replant with the lettuce that I seeded today. BTW, these tomatoes are in my High Tunnel. Ripening can vary so much. Last year we had no sun in October. It was cloudy and cold. They did ripen very fast at all. This year could be different. Jay

How important is the design of the house to you and who do you want to do it?

You've made a huge first step, just by talking about it here at the forum. So, first of all, congratulations! I'm 56 and just 4 months ago made the decision you've just made. I was in need of losing 80 pounds, in need of eating better, in need of more energy, in need of something to make me feel better about the future (DH has been out of work since August), and in need of the ability to work in my garden again. Yup, I needed it all. Sound familiar? In 4 months I've already made a big change and am OK with the fact that it will take a year or more to reach my goals. I have a plan and sometimes I do well and other times not quite so well. But I keep trying to make choices that get me closer to that goal all the time. For me, it was weight watchers but it can be anything. I had to accept that everything I did was driven by a choice. I could choose to eat something or choose not to eat it . It didn't just happen. Food didn't jump into my mouth unaided. If I choose to pick it up and eat it, then I could just as readily choose NOT to pick it up. HERE'S SOME REALLY GOOD NEWS FOR YOU: just a 10 or 15 pound weight loss will make you feel better! Try not to focus on the whole amount that you want to lose. Break it down into smaller more manageable amounts. You'll be amazed at how different your clothes feel at 15 pounds. Shirts that you've been wearing as jackets, will actually button! How cool is that? I've lost 27 pounds since Nov 10th and I'm wearing a different size of clothes. I feel great, sleep better, hurt less, etc, etc, etc. And I'm working in the garden without feeling like I'm going to keel over breathless! lol. It's all good. I don't miss any foods because on WW I can have anything I want, just smaller amounts of some things. You will have to learn a different way of eating, and fill up on foods that are better for you, but you don't have to give up good food. Good luck and please keep telling us how you are doing! Kate

Whithja-- It's good that you're taking some responsibility for the way this situation was brought about, and specifically for your OWN personal role in it. Frankly, that's more than a lot of people would do, and not to sound mean or sexist but it's WAY more than most MEN in that situation would do. So that's all very good, and I'd encourage you to continue going to counseling with the girls as you have been. I grew up knowing that my dad had cheated on my mom and that it was one of the primary reasons for their divorce, but I never had the attitude that any relationship between he & I was doomed because of it. It has not been a perfect father-daughter relationship between us (for reasons having much more to do with the influence of my SM than anything in my bio-parents' past) and that cheating past has not been without some scars and effects on me. But he took responsibility for his actions, and both he and my mom made many efforts to assure me that their marital problems did not have to control my relationships with either of them or my own feelings about myself. So it's not impossible to build & maintain decent-to-good or even great relationships in such circumstances ****IF**** everyone is a mature adult about it. Where the weak links come in is when any other adults in the picture don't want to behave as such. The problem comes in with your GFs immature "Jerry Springer"-like behavior (the details of which I of course don't know but can certainly imagine). Basically, if she can't grow up and approach this situation with as much maturity and responsibility as you are, she's tearing down everything you're trying to build back up. As much as YOU may be able to take responsibility and address this situation you put your daughters into in as much of a "being a man" way as you can, if your GF is in any way going to pipe up and be a nasty wench to your daughters, you will be allowing a situation to continue that would become extremely painful, disruptive and even potentially abusive despite YOUR best efforts, intentions and accountability. If the resentment builds between GF and your daughters (which as it sounds, it is likely to), then your daughters will end up having anger not so much at your initial cheating but at your allowing your GF to treat them in negative ways. Then this may very well, in turn, double-back and increase their resentment of the initial affair all over again, and they will question why you dropped their nice loving mother for some Springer-esque class-less b!tch who treats them crappy and can't seem to calm the h3ll down. If you yourself perceive there to be problems between you & GF, and specifically in some of the ways she had treated your children, you are in a position to recognize with foresight that it would not be best to continue this relationship.