You are accurate! But, these are the marketing ploys to make a 'maybe I should look at it' turn into a 'must-have'.

I have a few others in conversations:
"we have another bid"
"many love this home"
"exclusive" - is this even possible?
"I have inside information" - do you really?
"like new" - can you show receipt?

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This post was edited by cas66ragtop on Wed, Dec 5, 12 at 23:03

"Granite"

I'm sooooo tired of granite. The only granite you'll find in my house is the pool spillover ledge.

I love the "Hurry, this one won't last", then you see that it's been on the market 201 days.

"Must see" bugs the heck out of me.

Must see? Says who? By what standards?

It is such a small and admittedly stupid thing, but every real estate listing I see with "must see" in it drops a little farther down my list of things....to see. Ha-ha.

One local realtor uses "this is the home that dreams are made in" in most of her listings.

The one that I don't fully understand is "motivated seller". We wrote an offer about 15% less than list on a house with that in the remarks, on the market 9+ months and they countered verbally saying we have to get list price. We moved on but saw that they sold 8 months later for our original offer.

How about "super clean?" I think they say that about any house that doesn't have dirty laundry strewn on the floors!

I asked my Realtor to avoid certain words in my listing when I listed with him. He was nice about it and had me proof it before it went on the MLS. He tended to toss in random apostrophes and hyphens, which I removed.

One word that's overused in my area is "expansive".

Here is a link that might be useful: Real estate adjectives

"expansive" sounds like it breathes.
or it's built on something like our clay soil, also known as play doh, in which case "expansive" is not a good thing.

I used to pick up a glossy real estate magazine that advertised luxury homes, partly to see how many times the word "prestigious" appeared.

"Dream home" was pounded into the dirt here several years ago.

forgot to say, that "handyman special" comment reminded me of one of my favorite sentences in a real estate ad.

It was a number of years ago, & the house was a little old foreclosed house in terrible condition.

The ad read:
"Bring your shovel."

"Parade of Homes winner in 1997!" Yeah, like I want 15-year-old finishes.

"Located in the prestigious ," applied to anything that's been the latest thing in the past 20 years.

I looked at one (drive-by) yesterday. Listing said "needs some TLC." It looked like there was some roof damage, so I called the listing agent and he confirmed it was a tear-down.

- Gourmet kitchen
- The property boasts ...

HOA!

Worst thing to put in an ad if you ask me.

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This post was edited by cas66ragtop on Wed, Dec 5, 12 at 23:05

"This is a real executive home." (This is egregious on so many levels!)

"Newer windows and roof." (As opposed to...?)

"Hardwood floors throughout." (They never are.)

"Only steps away from shopping..." (Why not simply say walkable neighborhood?)

And in general, "home" used in place of plain old "house."

"Commuter's dream" (Highway view from the front door)

"Thoughtfully updated" (Last update was 25 years ago)

A big one around here is "Bring your architect and your imagination." (Tear-down)

Any variation on "lovingly cared for" or "shows pride of ownership".

Not only is there thirty year old wallpaper, the homeowner will be mad if you try to negotiate an allowance to update their pride and joy.

"Conveniently located near shopping, entertainment and professional offices"

House is surrounded by liquor stores, pawn shops, stripper bars and bail bondsmen.

"A car enthusiasts dream!"

Located next to a junk yard.

"Country setting that will take your breath away!"

Just wait until you get a whiff of that pig farm!

"Private and secluded"

The police won't be able to find you when the mass murderer next door goes on a rampage! Scream all you like.....nobody can hear you!

Only steps away from shopping..." (Why not simply say walkable neighborhood?)

In my local MLS you can't say "walkable" or "walking distance to" as it discriminates against those who cannot walk.

Omitting all the examples listed here would not leave me much to work with.

"Lovely rustic setting" means the septic tank has failed, but the outhouse is fine.

"Rural and peaceful" means an hour drive to the nearest store.

"Bustling center of town" means you will never sleep at night because of the noise.

"Close to local hotspots" meant above a bar in one apartment ad.

"Private road" is really a very long driveway that you will have to pay mega-bucks to have plowed every snow storm.

And when the ad gushes on and on and on about the greatness of the barn and other outbuildings, that means that the house has no working heat, the kitchen has no appliances and the roof leaks.

'when the ad gushes on and on and on about the greatness of the barn and other outbuildings, that means that the house has no working heat, the kitchen has no appliances and the roof leaks.'

I've developed a sort of rule of thumb when browsing MLS ads:
if the primary photo isn't one of the front of the house (condos excepted), or if theren't any interior photos of the kitchen & baths...uh-oh.

When we were house hunting, I always rolled my eyes when I saw a house described as a "dollhouse" or one that said "Ms. Clean lives here".

"The property..." sounds so pretentious to refer to it as the property.

Ads loaded with misspellings and grammatical errors turn me off. Can you say, "unprofessional?"

Are anyone's hardwood floors NOT "gleaming"? Is any neighborhood not "sought-after"?

Gourmet kitchen
4 piece bathroom
"nice home on nice street in nice neighborhood"
motivated seller--as a new agent I thought this meant the sellers were prepared to deal. As an older agent I learned that it meant, in most cases, nothing more than that the seller REALLY wanted the buyer to pay the seller's price, and that the listing agent was unable to secure appropriate price reductions
"too many features to describe"
wood engineered floors--when what is there are laminate floors engineered to look like hardwood
Priced $40,000 under appraisal--an off-target appraisal does not equate to added value or instant equity

"Priced under appraisal" so often means that the seller has been...used.

Either

a) sellers took out a second loan & the lender appraised the house at the extreme top (at least) to get the loan-to-value ratio right or

b) the owner is using the tax office's "appraisal"...
which means the owner has been paying too much in taxes all these years.

or it may be

c) seller is going by the appraisal that was done to obtain seller's loan to buy the house. These appraisals are often old, dating from a time when the market was higher.

very sad for the seller, who believes that an "appraisal" is a *fact*.

"luxury condo" is WAY overused in my area and it basically means it has been remodeled in the last ten years.

I have a Subzero refrigerator, a Miele DW, a washer and dryer in the unit, and fully restored ornamental plaster,(all things None of these "luxury" offerings have in my area), but in No Way is my apartment luxury, and I would not let my listing say anything of the sort.

"The property..." sounds so pretentious to refer to it as the property.

I read this the other day and it stuck in my mind.
I don't think of the term as pretentious, does anyone else think the term "the property" is anything other than a term when used to describe something for sale?

LOLing at "luxury."

I once saw an ad for "luxury apartments." It took several minutes to sink in that the ad was for the apartment complex where I was living. Apparently, having a small balcony and a dishwasher and maintenance that took 48 hours to response to emergencies made the complex "luxury."

'having a small balcony and a dishwasher and maintenance that took 48 hours to response to emergencies made the complex "luxury."'

Aren't you glad you didn't go the economy route???

Should'nt that be LingOL?

This one falls more in the "get a dictionary" category:

"great room with coiffured ceiling...."

Hairdressers must be moonlighting as carpenters during the recession.

This certainly hasn't been seen more than once, (I hope) but it was bad real estate writing at its finest, where the master bedroom with connected bath of a local condo was described as "a boudoir worthy of Maryann Tonette."

-Bring your toothbrush

-Room for a growing family (Maybe it has a great kitchen and they can't stop eating?)

"coiffured ceiling"

I *love* it!

although...it may have been a spell-check aberration.

& I'd bet Maryann Tonette was the result of somebody's teen-aged daughter or son transcribing something from Mom's recorded message.

But they're both priceless!

"great for entertaining"
What does that mean - it has a kitchen or just a front door? My parents can visit (elderly friendly guest room?) The kid's friends can play? Cozy coffee with the neighbor, or hosting the all night high school grad party? If you have a living room and a dining room, is that automatically great for entertaining?

I just wish the ads would quit guessing about emotional appeals and stick to facts.

Lyvia, many years ago, before internet, we did a lot of advertising in the real estate magazines that people picked up at grocery stores & restaurants.

Our ad rep told us this interesting thing:

When you're advertising a less expensive house, list every real attribute you can find, fenced yard, 2 car garage, Jenn-aire range, etc, & *keep the adjectives to a minimum*.

When you're advertising a more upscale home, people *expect* fences & Jenn-aires, & the higher up the scale you go, the less of an issue it is if the house doesn't have those things.

Buyers of more expensive houses assume that the house has a front door & a kitchen;
to get their attention, you use lots of adjectives & keep the lists of physical attributes to a minimum.

While I'm accustomed to seeing nearly every development described as "sought-after" (beautiful home in sought-after *development name*!), yesterday I saw one in "cherished *development name*."

Cherished? The development is "cherished"?

maybe somebody got a thesaurus for Christmas?

a word-a-day calendar!

It's not just trite/stale/banal words, either, is it?
People put nonsensical things in writing.

(Y'all're gonna be so sorry you didn't tell me it was just a gripey, grinchy, school-marmish mood!)

I know it's easy to do this because I've done it my own self.
(but it's funnier when someone else does it.)

You think you've written a good narrative for your listing, maybe something cute or clever or intriguing, & then you see it in print...

*******************************************

'You are greeted by the curved staircase'

& how does it greet me?

"Good Morning (Afternoon, Evening)"
"Bon jour!"
"Hi, there, Cutie"
""Trade entrance is in the back"

***************************************

'What more could you ask for??'

Now, seriously.
If you're a listing agent, do you reeeelllly wanna put this thought into the minds of a buyer & his/her/their agent???

My buyers might say
"I'd like a:
pool
tennis court
Mercedes convertible
pony
baby brother"

************************************
'SMELL THE RECENT PAINT AND CARPET'

uh...

*************************************

'PHOTOS ARE REPRESENTATIVE AND NOT OF ACTUAL PROPERTY.'

uh again

**************************************

'Can You Say Space for Everyone!!!!'

Why yes I can!!!!
Agent has used 33 spaces to ask this question(4 for exclamation points alone).
Can she not think of something about the property that would better use these spaces (the house is 4100 sq ft +, in a planned community with lots of amenities-maybe mention clubhouse/pool/tennis courts/bike & walking trails, or technology center/granite kitchen/warming oven/split bedrooms/nursery/study/hardwood/luxury or Hollywood bath?)

***********************************
'Room to roam!!'

It's under an acre in a subdivision.

*************************************

'Sellers are highly motivated, so bring your best offer today!'

Now, see, the way I read "motivated seller", I think if the seller's agent says sellers are 'motivated', my buyers can offer something less than their "best".

***************************************

& I ran into all this on one property search!

but I must say, I got about 8 houses down the list before I ran into 'awesome', & so far nary a "prestigious" or "sought-after"!

"When you're advertising a less expensive house, list every real attribute you can find, fenced yard, 2 car garage, Jenn-aire range, etc, & *keep the adjectives to a minimum*."

This might explain an ad for a house I saw once: "Floors! Windows!"

camlan-LOL!

Reminds me when one of my young sons told me after a visit that his buddy's house "had no floors". I knew they were not well-off and lived in a very rural area near us, but I was pretty sure they had better than dirt floors. Turns out he meant it was one-story (in an area of MD where nearly all the houses were 2-story squares).

coy pond

Awww, it's bein' adorable.