Is your mother's project mostly cosmetic (new fixtures and finishes), or is it a more extensive project involving new framing and other structural work?

If it's the former, you may be able to employ the services of a bath designer to come by regularly and supervise the progress, answer contractor questions, and assist with making decisions. Or, if your mother has a good handyman whom she trusts, he might be someone who could be engaged to do the same thing.

If the work is structural, was an architect involved? If so, many architects are willing to supervise construction on their projects, although expect to be billed for the time this takes. Any of these options may be cheaper than taking time out of your's and your sibling's schedules, particularly if travelling long distances is involved.

If the problem is that your mother just doesn't want to be alone while unfamiliar workers are in the house -- I'm not sure what to suggest.

A word of caution, though. If you don't have a written guarantee from the contractor that work will be completed in three weeks -- you'd better plan on six weeks. These kinds of projects always end up lasting longer than expected.

Hope this helps.

James

if it's just that mom doesn't want to be alone w/ workers in the house, maybe a neighbor could be recruited/hired to sit w/ her? Or someone from her church, if she's got one?

I like the idea of hiring a trusted handyman to be her advocate. If she doesn't have one, does she have a neighbor who can be there w/ her, even if all the neighbor does is say, "call Jasper about this now"?

It doesn't even have to be a guy--does she know anyone who's done much remodeling on their own place, who could check in w/ the work at the end of each day?

With digetal cameras and EMail its much easier to do these kind of things long distance. You could have the contractor take pictures each day showing progress and anything that is unanticipated. That will cell phones means your only a key punches away. 69 is NOT old.. in fact younger every day! If you picked the correct contractor you should have no problems. Also I assume the city will be stopping by to check on progress as almost all times a permit is needed. They can help reassure you and Mom that things are being done correctly.
Good Luck !
By the way what part of the country is Mom in?

Hi. Sorry, didn't mean to imply 69 was old. Mom is always afraid someone will try and to take advantage because of her age and being a woman.

Mom lives in Chicago. I like the idea of having someone stop by everyday just to reassure her and/or confirm any issues. Problem is finding someone. She is not very friendly with the neighbors or anyone else for that matter. She can be mean and difficult to get along with at times.

I'm not sure what to do. Family members and others know her all too well to get mixed up in a project with her.
-jasper

She can be mean and difficult to get along with at times.

I'm not sure what to do. Family members and others know her all too well to get mixed up in a project with her.

This is one of those cases in which you need to be realistic about how much you can "fix" the world for her. She doesn't help much, being a crab. So to some degree, she will reap what she has sown. And we all deserve to, for the most part. Those of us who are communicative and reasonable and even nice will find others who will help us when we need it. Those of us who are crabs, etc., will not.

Do the best you can, and simply know that you will not be able to find a perfect solution for this, and that it's NOT YOUR fault. Get as good a GC as you can, ask him to check w/ you weekly, and let her cope w/ the worries she has.

(My next-door neighbor was a crab when she was younger, apparently. Plus, she became estranged from her sister, never reconciled, so she doesn't know any nieces or nephews. And she and her DH never had kids. And now that she's frail and not so quick mentally, she's alone--she has aides who stay with her, a stranger manages her finances, only a few neighbors--the ones she was mostly pleasant to--stop in due to basically wanting to do the right thing. But she's alone. If she'd been willing to be pleasant to her sister, she might have a niece of nephew who'd help her now, or care about her. She doesn't even know where they LIVE. She is reaping what she has sown. I keep thinking how sad it is, and wishing I could fix it, but the person who could have fixed that was her, not me. And the time to have fixed it was long ago, not now.)