Elderly parents almost scammed
pudgeder
6 years ago
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Suzieque
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Need Suggestions for Vacuum Cleaner for Elderly Parents
Comments (39)I see that you already made a decision with your vacuum purchase for your parents, and am glad it is working well for them. I realize you don't need this info, but posting in case helpful to anyone else. I have an Oreck XL 21 that I purchased 9 yrs ago when pregnant (it has 21 annual cleanings/maintenance), but this was when they were still made in US, I believe. Works well, and I love the lightweight aspect and huge bags (they hold lots and lots of dirt/animal hair!), which are easy to change. I also have a small, rechargeable Shark bagless for quick clean-ups for the fall out from my daughter's gerbils, and quick dog/cat hair pickup. Gotta say, I HATE emptying it, and digging out the hair collected in the filters. Have a 15 year old Miele White Star canister too (like many here, I do have a bit of an addiction to vacs). Give us another update after they've been using them for a while. =)...See MoreElderly Parents
Comments (10)Oh my, how time has flown. Believe it or not, both of my parents have passed. I moved them to independent living in their hometown...that lasted a little over a year. But lst I went on a cruise with hubby and they "visited" the IL place for 7 days. That made the transition easier 4 mos. later. Dad's Alz. got worse, but they really had good folks around them, keeping an eye on them and taking care of them when things got out of hand. Then Dad started really wandering around the building, would sleep on the couch at the entrance way...spent a lot of time in the lobby "waiting for his ride to work" wearing winter coat in 90 degree weather! I brought them to my town's little nursing home...dad went to ALZ Unit and mom had a regular room (she was NOT happy) but she knew Dad was where he needed to be. It was bittersweet but for the best. I continue to peek in here and read thru some of the posts. I Sooo can relate to the problems and the tough decisions. So thank you all for your support and help. I'm so glad I was able to bounce things off you guys....See MoreWhen life changes for the elderly
Comments (22)auntjen ~ It sounds like your G & G will be fine, and I mean that sincerely. Yes, it is a monumental change, yes it does affect the whole family, but it's a very smart and unselfish move they made. Backstory: My dad developed Alzheimer's when he was in his late 50's. We know that now because when he was finally diagnosed (in the mid-to-late 1970's), there was little or no information, let alone research, available. As my father becamse increasingly affected by the disease, it became harder and harder for my mom to care for him. By the time she knew she needed help, they were both in their early 70's. She made a very smart decision by moving back to Manhattan where the resources and help were more readily available. I'm an only child and she got her support and strength from me. I lived about 2 hours away from them and would spend the weekends in the city with them, staying with my dad while my mom took a much needed break from being his full-time caregiver. Even though I was not the primary caregiver, I was married and working full-time, which made things a tad difficult to juggle. I thank goodness that, at that point, I didn't have children because that would have only made things more difficult. We had been researching various alternatives with the support of my dad's doctor, focusing on nursing homes, and we found a very good one that was affiliated with Mt. Sinai Hospital. She put dad on the "waiting list" and after what seemed like an eternity, my dad went to The Jewish Home and Hospital for the Aged, part of Mt. Sinai. What a blessing that was, not only for my dad but for my mom, who was becoming increasingly worn out from caring 24/7 for my dad. Many family members could not understand how she could put my father in a home. Terrible, thoughtless comments were made and she was made to feel like a pariah. And this was when her family should have been there for support. Very few family members visited my dad in the nursing home. I'm sure they figured that he wouldn't recognize them. But what about my mom? Wouldn't she recognize them? Wouldn't she appreciate the small show of support? But I digress, except to say that I remember which family members were there for support (and which weren't). I have forgiven them, preferring to think that they really didn't understand the result of their actions. Your parents and you and your family are doing the right thing, even though it might feel wrong. Your G & G did the right thing for your family. They made a selfless decision for the good of their family. That's love....See Morehow to manage a project remotely for elderly parent?
Comments (5)She can be mean and difficult to get along with at times. I'm not sure what to do. Family members and others know her all too well to get mixed up in a project with her. This is one of those cases in which you need to be realistic about how much you can "fix" the world for her. She doesn't help much, being a crab. So to some degree, she will reap what she has sown. And we all deserve to, for the most part. Those of us who are communicative and reasonable and even nice will find others who will help us when we need it. Those of us who are crabs, etc., will not. Do the best you can, and simply know that you will not be able to find a perfect solution for this, and that it's NOT YOUR fault. Get as good a GC as you can, ask him to check w/ you weekly, and let her cope w/ the worries she has. (My next-door neighbor was a crab when she was younger, apparently. Plus, she became estranged from her sister, never reconciled, so she doesn't know any nieces or nephews. And she and her DH never had kids. And now that she's frail and not so quick mentally, she's alone--she has aides who stay with her, a stranger manages her finances, only a few neighbors--the ones she was mostly pleasant to--stop in due to basically wanting to do the right thing. But she's alone. If she'd been willing to be pleasant to her sister, she might have a niece of nephew who'd help her now, or care about her. She doesn't even know where they LIVE. She is reaping what she has sown. I keep thinking how sad it is, and wishing I could fix it, but the person who could have fixed that was her, not me. And the time to have fixed it was long ago, not now.)...See Morestacey_mb
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