Elderly parents almost scammed
9 years ago
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Need Suggestions for Vacuum Cleaner for Elderly Parents
Comments (39)I see that you already made a decision with your vacuum purchase for your parents, and am glad it is working well for them. I realize you don't need this info, but posting in case helpful to anyone else. I have an Oreck XL 21 that I purchased 9 yrs ago when pregnant (it has 21 annual cleanings/maintenance), but this was when they were still made in US, I believe. Works well, and I love the lightweight aspect and huge bags (they hold lots and lots of dirt/animal hair!), which are easy to change. I also have a small, rechargeable Shark bagless for quick clean-ups for the fall out from my daughter's gerbils, and quick dog/cat hair pickup. Gotta say, I HATE emptying it, and digging out the hair collected in the filters. Have a 15 year old Miele White Star canister too (like many here, I do have a bit of an addiction to vacs). Give us another update after they've been using them for a while. =)...See MoreElderly Parents
Comments (10)Oh my, how time has flown. Believe it or not, both of my parents have passed. I moved them to independent living in their hometown...that lasted a little over a year. But lst I went on a cruise with hubby and they "visited" the IL place for 7 days. That made the transition easier 4 mos. later. Dad's Alz. got worse, but they really had good folks around them, keeping an eye on them and taking care of them when things got out of hand. Then Dad started really wandering around the building, would sleep on the couch at the entrance way...spent a lot of time in the lobby "waiting for his ride to work" wearing winter coat in 90 degree weather! I brought them to my town's little nursing home...dad went to ALZ Unit and mom had a regular room (she was NOT happy) but she knew Dad was where he needed to be. It was bittersweet but for the best. I continue to peek in here and read thru some of the posts. I Sooo can relate to the problems and the tough decisions. So thank you all for your support and help. I'm so glad I was able to bounce things off you guys....See MoreElderly care & when to say enough
Comments (42)Our aging crisis: the need for a dignified death - September 14, 2013 : 6:14pm In his final published work, “Mortality,” written while succumbing to esophageal cancer, Christopher Hitchens captures in one sentence the unavoidable truth of the dying process: “I don’t have a body, I am a body.” No one understands this truism quite as well as journalist Katy Butler, who witnessed the prolonged process of dying that her once-formidable, war-veteran father underwent after suffering a stroke in 2001, devolving into dementia and then finally dying from pneumonia seven years later. As doctors pushed life-support surgeries, new medications and cutting-edge interventions, Butler and her mother didn’t pray for a cure. Instead, they wished for his death, all of which is chronicled in her troubling investigative memoir “Knocking on Heaven’s Door.” The “end-of-life crisis,” or as Butler calls it “the caregiver crisis,” has hit epidemic levels as the number of Americans over 85 doubled to 6 million since 1990. Baby boomers, like Butler, must now wrangle with what to do with sick elderly parents, asking questions of themselves they probably thought would never be fathomable: What can be done when a person lives too long? And has science gone too far in its mission to ward off death? Through her experiences with her father, Butler is unwavering in her answers. “Our optimistic science-worshiping culture wants to medicalize aging and make it nothing more than a collection of specific diseases that medicine can prevent or fix,” she writes. “But no matter what deal we make with the devil, nature outwits us. Dying can be postponed, but aging cannot be cured.” These are bitter pills to swallow and many might fall in the trap of citing Dr. Kevorkian, death panels, and agism in health care as reasons why these end-of-life conversations should never start. But Butler argues that this very fear, our culture’s unwillingness “to engage with death until it is in our faces,” is what has gotten us so deep in trouble in the first place. For example, 75 percent of elderly patients would rather die in their homes, yet 44 percent of them will die in hospitals, she writes. Last-ditch defibrillators, surgeries for incurable cancers and chemotherapy that only buys a few days continue to be the norm; while what she calls “Slow Medicine” �" home and palliative care �" remains on the fringes and is rarely covered by Medicare. Meanwhile, about a third of Medicare patients will have surgery in the last year of their life and a tenth will have a surgery done in the last month of life, she writes �" costing us an estimated $158 billion to $226 billion in medical overtreatment costs. But what is perhaps worse is the emotional and traumatic toll continual care for a dying relative takes on the survivors, which is the true core of her book. When Jeffrey, Butler’s hyper-intelligent Wesleyan history-professor dad, who lost his left arm while fighting in Italy during World War II, suffered a stroke at the age of 79, he was reduced to something much, much less: “With the memories, mind and reading comprehension of a highly educated 80-year-old; the spoken speech of a 4-or 5-year-old; and the physical dependence of a boy of 6.” He could comprehend his shortcomings, and it made him “miserable,” she writes. At one point, he even commented that he had “lived too long.” The stroke devastated not one, but two lives. “The day before [the stroke], my mother was a talented amateur artist and photographer, a woman of intimidating energy, and a spectacular housewife . . . After the stroke, she cared for my father the way she cared for my brothers and me when we were 3 or 4.” At 77, her mother had become one of the 29 million “unpaid, politically powerless, and culturally invisible family caregivers,” while Butler herself joined the 24 million baby boomers now tending to sick parents. When it became necessary for Jeffrey to undergo hernia surgery, his cardiologist suggested that they implant a pacemaker. The family agreed, unaware of the downsides of what was such an (they would only later find) unnecessary preventative treatment. Now, Jeffrey’s heart would tick on, long past his time should have been up. “Not having a pacemaker would not have guaranteed my father a quick or easy death,” she writes. “But having a pacemaker deprived him of his best chance for one.” Despite the surgery �" or perhaps because of it �" Jeffrey quickly got worse. Like about one third of those over 80, he suffered from dementia. His eyesight went, then his mobility. He began misspelling words. Then he began to see things that weren’t there. He became bladder and bowel incontinent. “I woke up some morning in a fury. Why had his doctors not let nature take its course? If the pacemaker had never been implanted, I thought, my father might well have been out of his misery, and so would my mother and me,” Butler writes. The family begged his cardiologist to turn off the pacemaker, but he refused. Other cardiologists refused, as well. In 2008, Butler’s father contracted pneumonia. Knowing that sending him to the hospital would only prolong his suffering with “life-saving” procedures, they avoided calling 911. He eventually became sick enough to be accepted into hospice care, where he finally died. Here is a link that might be useful: Our aging crisis: the need for a dignified death...See MoreLosing an elderly parent
Comments (24)I think as long as you do something, it'll be fine, and appreciated that you made the gesture. My mother passed away just a little over 4 months ago. It was unexpected and not an easy passing. My school gave me a VISA gift card which I later used to purchase reprints of the beautiful picture the funeral home had made of her, along with frames, for myself and my sons. They also sent a fruit arrangement which arrived at the perfect time as we were serving a brunch to family members who had come from out of town. Two of my closer colleagues gave me a gift card to my favorite garden shop - which I'm going to use to purchase something for my garden in memory of my mother, either a plant or a garden art piece. My cadre sent a flower arrangement and a restaurant gift card, which was helpful because during that time my husband and I were able to turn around and go out to eat one night instead of trying to figure out during that difficult time what to make for dinner. We also received other flower arrangements and lots of cards. What also touched my heart were the cards that a few of my friends sent me a month or so later that let them know they were still holding me in their thoughts and prayers. Sorry this is so long, but all these gestures meant the world to me. So again, I think whatever you decide to do, will mean so much to your daughter-in-law....See More- 9 years ago
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