It sounds very nice to me!

If that is common practice where you live, could you talk to one or two of the families who have done this and ask what they did?

Sue

If it's common practice then how have the other invites been done? Where do live that this is common practice?

I can't imagine NOT inviting people to a wedding, NOT inviting them to a reception but inviting them to mingle with those that were invited to the former to come and dance.

Did you know that church wedding are actually open to anyone? Yes they are.

The dancing is part of the reception. To invite some to only the dance sounds like "we won't have enough cake for you but we want you to come dance, don't forget to bring a gift." ACK

I don't care if it's being "done". It's awkward and I would be somewhat offended.

Is the dance being held at the same place as the reception? So some there will eat and others will not? How does that work?

I was taught you give invite the number of people to an event that you can afford. This AB and now C list thing is a giant turn off to me.

I agree with Sue, being that this is common practice I'd ask someone who has done it. With that said, I think the wording sounds fine.

I'm curious as to this custom, as I have never heard of inviting a second group to just the dance portion of the wedding. Could you give more details regarding the custom? Do you serve them food?

I would issue the invites in the name of the persons hosting (paying for the event). So, something like... Mr and Mrs. James Jones invite you to the wedding dance celebration following the wedding ceremony of the marriage of their daughter Mary Lou to Mr. Bob Smith....

In your defense I have been invited to a dance reception only. The wedding and dinner were very, very small (like 12 people). Personally, I would try to make sure there are at least some heavy finger foods and drinks for your dance guests.

Just say, "the wedding dance celebrating the wedding of ..."

Simple, simple. Less detail, the better.

This concept is foreign to me, too. But surely, when you go to get the invites printed, the local printer will be able to advise you how others have worded this sort of invite--if this is a common practice they've no doubt done many of these invites and probably have the most experience on the issue.

Thanks Sushipup & Carla35 for your advise. Wildchild, I wasn't asking you if you agree with the custom. Really, I don't care if you agree or not. I was asking for help on the wording and that was it. This is pretty much a DIY wedding so I won't be able to ask the local printer. Believe it or not, we won't be breaking the bank with this wedding and the wedding will still be beautiful.

I hope you are at least having an open bar? I have never heard of this custom, and I would personally be embarrassed to invite someone only to the dance. I agree with WC on this one. I am also wondering what geographical area you live in? Anyway, if it is indeed common practice I would follow the suggestions and just ask someone else who has sent out this type of invite. Congratulations to your DD.

I have cousins in Manitoba, and this is close to what is normal in their little town. They have the wedding (usually in the morning) at the church, with cake and coffee and punch in the church basement right afterwards. Anybody is welcome to come, it is announced in the church bulletin and I believe in the local paper.

The family would host a bbq type late lunch/dinner for the wedding party, people visiting for the wedding, close friends. But is is largely an informal affair, an event intended for family. Sometimes the bride and groom don't even come, as they are busy packing for the honeymoon and having pictures done. The (opened) presents are arranged on a table somewhere in the house for people to view, and will stay there for a week and ANYBODY can come and take a look! The family (usually parents of the bride) are expected to be ready to entertain with tea and cookies for visits during that time.

Then later in the evening at a local hall they have a dance with drinks (cash bar), sometimes food comes out later in the evening but it is mostly finger type food, prepared by friends and family kind of pot luck style. You can "pay" to dance with the bride or groom, and the more inventive you can get with an apron or can or something for the money, the better.

Note, this is a fun thing, not a money grab LOL. Any wedding presents usually come from friends or family and would have been sent to the house in the weeks before and after the wedding. Almost always household goods like china, crystalware, towels and sheets, and so on.

Scissors, I like the way you have it worded in your post! If you think it is too formal for what they have planned, maybe use the word "Joyfully" or something instead of cordially?

Dances - note, this is a small Polish/Ukranian community. Not sure if that makes a difference.

I wouldn't be offended to be invited just to the dance! I'd be happy that the family wanted to share this joyful occasion with me! And I don't think anyone is owed an open bar... ever! Cash bar is just fine.

This sounds more like a wedding ceremony with brief reception at the church, then the REAL *celebration* reception that includes music for dancing. This may have grown out of days when dancing (and/or alcohol)was 'sinful' and had to be separated from the church. LOL

I don't quite understand not inviting everyone to bear witness at the ceremony -- and have a cup of punch afterwards. Could you explain that, please? Church only open to members?

I would never have heard of this custom without KT.

How about;

A party to celebrate the marriage of 'John Doe' and 'Jane Smith' will be held on (date) at (time) at (address). Please come and celebrate with us!

RSVP (name and telephone number of the hosts)

The church is very, very small. They chose it that way for a reason. They do not want everyone there. Anyone who has ever put on a wedding knows that it is not about the presents. They really don't care to get any presents. If it were truly about the presents, we'd invite only those that we know would give great gifts. This is simply about what the couple wants. They want only a few at the wedding and an intimate reception. They want a party for all the rest. I'm sure you could all understand it.

Maddielee - I like it. That is worded vey simply. Thanks.

I think it is interesting to read about the different wedding traditions. I couldn't help but think about the old Father of the Bride movie with Elizabeth Taylor and Spencer Tracy. Loved that wedding dress and their home (where the reception was) In another of my favorite old movies, The Best Years of Our (their?) Lives, the injured vet marries his chilhood sweetheart in her home and the reception is also there.

For those who are wondering where this idea came from....

I know several people from the UK and have asked them about this custom.

In the UK traditional weddings take place earlier in the day. Right after the wedding a sit down meal is served. They call it a wedding breakfast because back in the day it was assumed the bride was to nervous to eat earlier. In the evening a "dance" is held, what we would call a "reception".

So people who are not close friends and relatives would be invited to the "dance" reception. Food is offered at the event. it is not just a dance.

So it seems that somehow American brides took this custom in some areas and changed it to suit their needs. Sort of how gift registries used to be so a guest could know the china and silver pattern so they could buy a single fork or spoon and now are expected to buy complete sets of cookware instead. Or the money dance which made sense back in the day when the gift might be a chicken or a wooden bowl but isn't quite the same situation today.

I have also been told that in the UK the cost of being in a weeding (bridesmaid dress etc.) is paid for by the bride. So if someone wants to follow UK custom there you have it.

Just goes to show how easily people get offended these days and over the littlest of things!

I think I'd go with something like DD and BFF cordially invite you to share in their joy as they dance their first wedded dance on _____ the _____ day of ________, 20__ at __ am/pm at ___(location)___. If you wanted an extra tweak, I've seen things like "Having shared in life with your friendship and love," put at the beginning too. Depends on how you feel about the people being invited.

"Tradition" in many areas would hold that the sponsor (whoever is paying for it) should be named, so if, for instance the parents are paying, then the parents should be named as the ones inviting, and if they're contributing together, then many go something like "A and B, together with their parents ___ and ___". Much depends on how formal the other invitations were, how formal you want it, etc.

I'd probably indicate any instructions as to gifts (yes/no, instead send to __, etc) if desired and some indication on refreshments.

Hope they have a great time.

Please don't kill the messenger but putting no gifts on any invitation is never appropriate.

From Miss Manners:

"... there is no tasteful way -- not even any moderately decent way -- of directing present giving when you are on the receiving end. Contrary to general belief, present giving is never required. ... You must pretend that you invite people because you want to celebrate important occasions with them, and you must seem pleasantly surprised when they give you something. To act as if it is such standard payment that you can acknowledge your expectations is rude-rude-rude."