I don't know of a tactful way to ask for money. I just would leave that out. If somebody asks, perfect opportunity, but other than that I wouldn't go there.
Love the idea about toys for tots! That's always a big winner.

Trin

I agree with Trin, and I'll add that if they can afford multiple TVs it might be best to scrap the cash donation idea entirely.

Always, always...request no gifts at an anniversary party like this!!!!

There is no tactful way to ask for money, especially for someone who doesn't need it. No matter how you word it, it will appear tacky and tasteless and crude. Let them enjoy their guests w/o worrying about having offended someone, b/c that's what it would do.

I wouldn't mention gifts at all. If your parents have been married for 50 years, they are of the generation that never, ever suggested gifts...and certainly not money. People will want to bring gifts; after all, being married for 50 years is a noteworthy accomplishment.

I love the idea of the memory jar! Please be sure there are zillions of pictures, and a video if possible. I'm so thankful that I have a video of my parents' 40th anniversary party, and so sorry I don't have one for the other parties.

Enjoy the event and the memories!

I agree, don't mention gifts. If peeps ask you, you can suggest anything you feel like. If they ask your DSIL, then it's their turn to make suggestions. :)

Moni

Please, no mention of money or gifts or Toys for Tots. The guests should not be burdened with bringing anything. Your parents may be able to buy XX TVs, but not everybody has money to spare. Let them come and enjoy the evening. If they bring a gift, that is their choice.

Or there is always the old tried & true: Your presence is your gift, noted on the invitation

I saw a license plate a couple days ago that said WD50YRS. Nice touch.

Sue

Sue VA,

Are folks at that age interested in X-rated TV?

I think the only reference to gift should be sort of like the , " ... your presence is your gift" idea.

Good wishes for a happy occasion - and have a blast at your bash!

ole joyful

I think the Please, no gifts is the way to go. If it's not your intention to burden everyone with the gift thing then make sure everyone knows that..they will so appreciate it.

Thanks everyone, that is what I was thinking.

I'll put 'Cards only please' or 'Your presence is the only presents needed' or something similar.

We have friends having a wedding anniv party soon and their invitation said something to the effect "we already have so much, the best gift would be your presence or if you wish a donation to your favorite charity.

Thought that was nice touch.

I agree there's so tactful wording to use when asking for gifts. The folks above have good ideas.

No, there's no tactful, tasteful way to ask for money.

I personally like the Toys for Tots idea but with these hard times it may not be such a good idea, not everyone has the $ for extras. My parents had their 50th this past summer. My mom said no gifts, no party, but we did spring for a nice cake and had a open house with simple snacks and such. My sisters and I did have a special gift. We got together and did a scrap book with pictures of when they were younger and all family up until present.(it was about 40 pages or so) It was hours and hours of work. We had to sneak in their house and borrow all the old pictures get copies.

You may want to ask friends and relatives if they have any special pictures of them and family pictures, make a copy and bring to party. They give alot to talk about and you get some funny stories behind them.

OMG...how & why did X-RATED TV manage to be brought into this conversation?

To answer your question, I don't think I would mention gifts at all. I'm sure some people will bring gifts, but they shouldn't feel obligated.

Country Bumpkin---

Look at the poster above OJ's. (su va) His reference to x rated was his tongue in cheek reference to her post about x number of tv's.

izzie has a great idea....I know because I did for my folks' 50th :-0 My sis & I gathered pix of all kinds (bro was a drag, but that's another story) I'm sure the parents knew we were *up* to something, but they didn't see the end products until a few days before the reception (didn't want them surprised) I say "products" because it ended up going into the 2nd album! I started with pix of the g'parents, then parents pre-wedding, wedding pix (1 snapshot), and added pix of them, the kids as they arrived, as we were growing up, then our families.

These were put on display and a BIG hit. Many people went back more than once to look at them. Also a big hit was an idea I had seen at a 60th anniversary years before. On poster board, I put a pix of the folks. From there, one of each of us kids with colored ribbon 'linking' us to the parents. From, for example, my pix, I used the same ribbon color to pix of my kids, and g'kids. A picture genealogy. I repeated it for my siblings, using different colors for each of us. I used netting with gold 'sparkles' & some ivy to dress up the posture board. It was placed on an easel in another other of the fellowship hall and was also a success.

Both of these were well worth the all the hours spent in assembling them.

I like the Memory Jar idea and agree with others who have said "no gifts, please...."

Tongue in cheek or not, because the word "RATED" was used, it gave the post (as always) a sexual "overtone".

I think it is a great ideal to maybe send a note with the invitation that if anyone has old pics to please bring copies to the party-tell them you are making a scrap book and would like to get all the pictures you can for it.
We did this for my Mom and Dad's 50th-we got so many pictures that we had never seen before. We also videotaped the party. A prescious memory.
We asked everyone not to bring gifts, but of course a lot of people did.

I agree with cb...one poster seems to always have his mind in the gutter....it's a little irritating to say the least.

no gutter, just a mis-read line...lol...

Nope..didn't "mis" read anything! If I see the word X-RATED I think one thing...and that's exactly what the poster wanted or it would have read "Are folks at that age interested in X-NUMBER of TV's instead of "X-RATED TV (and what does AGE have to do with how many TV's a person might want?)

I used this little button back in August (on a thread about tipping and yes..it's still there). Someone should have had it on then and that same someone should have it on NOW!
{{!gwi}}

i wouldn't say anyhing like cards only just send the invite and let tem decide if they want to bring a gift or cash.

I agree with you country bumpkin. And that's why I never ever read anything written by that poster - I just skip over it. Keeps my blood pressure even . . . .

First of all, I enjoy Joyful's humor and wit. I like that he can maintain a lighthearted look at life after the challenges he's faced. I am proud to consider him a friend even though we haven't met face to face. I have found however, through these years I've lived, that you can say "good morning" and offend someone but I don't think it should stop anyone from brightening another's day.

That said, considering this is a 50th anniversary and since they brought up sex now, I'm reminded of something my uncle said to my dad after my mother died. "What you should do is find yourself a nice girl and get married again. Just for companionship. Let's face it, there's no sex after 55 anyway!" I thought it was so funny and my dad was so embarrassed! He was certainly my favorite uncle. Had a great outlook on life despite having had a rough life.

Back to the topic... If the parents are well off, at least comfortable, and have everything they want, do they want trinkets? If not, I'd really emphasise the no gifts, with something like we have all we need and would really prefer your presence to your presents

I do like the Toys for Tots idea though. You could add something like please don't but if you must, please make a donation to your favorite charity or send a toy to Toys for Tots. You know your invitees best though. Maybe subtle and tactful won't work. And of course someone could be offended. I have a couple relatives with the oh that doesn't apply to me attitude on things. But I would also not stress out over it. Plan on having a good time, go with your gut instinct and enjoy yourselves!

Best wishes to the couple too!

I'm old school. There is no tactful way to mention gifts,no gifts,money gifts or donations in lieu of gifts on an invitation. Requesting anything other then the guests presence is tactless. Also if they're close enough to know your parents well enough to contribute to a memory jar then they are close enough for you to call personally and ask them if they would be so kind as do this. An alternate method would be to have "memory cards" or slips they could write on left in plain sight at the event. They could then choose to write something if they wished to.

This is a celebration of your parents day. It should be not turned into a charity event and guests should decide for themselves whether to bring a gift or not. If the gifts are unwanted or unneeded they should be accepted with thanks and quietly donated by your parents if they so choose.