I think that is something that only the parents can answer.

The parents already see us in the grandparent way. They feel honored to have us grandparent the kids. The 6 y/o just graduated from kindergarten last Friday and we sent her a rose in a bud vase. She had just gotten in from school when it was delivered. Her mom called her to the door & the florist handed her the rose and she cried because no one had ever given her a flower before. My best friend said that she cried harder when she read the card and said I love them so much.

I wouldn't. Why would you want to, it would only be confusing to the little kids and to others.

Your relationship sounds more akin to godparents to me. A grandchild is your child's child, that's not what they are.

It sounds like they are very lucky to have you and you them. You are what you are, there's no reason to use the wrong term. In my opinion.

If your friends are for it, then yes, you can! Who cares what others think. Family does not have to be blood relations.

I agree with Snidely. I would be inclined to say yes if there weren't living grandparents.

You do deserve a special honor, I'm just not sure what you can be called. The kids have special names and know how much you care about them. I'd leave it at that.

A little girl in cancer remission who lives out in the state of Washington that I took under my wing thinks of us as another set of grandparents. I had "adopted by love" grandparents too. You can't have too many grandparents, aunts or uncles to love you. Blood doesn't make you family.....love does. Follow your heart, Laura.

I agree with Snidely as well. Your relationship can be close and beautiful, no need to call yourselves grandparents. There are many reasons why the actual grandparents do not participate as much as you do, they still may be very hurt should they find out about this.
And this may confuse the children as well- they know who their grandparents are.
Cherish the relationship, it isn't necessary to label yourselves grandparents to do that.

I so disagree that you shouldn't call them your grandchildren.

My granny and grandpa have been dead for 30 years but they're on my mind all the time. Many things remind me of them. And we were not blood related. My parents met them sometime around my birth and were like parents to my parents. But, oddly enough, my parents called them Mr. and Mrs.

My "real" grandparents lived in different states. We saw them about once a year. Even when we lived on opposites sides of the states, we still saw and talked with my granny and grandpa often.

I don't see why you can't call yourself their grandma!

I have a "practice grand daughter". Her other grandparents are all in Germany.

Sophia wouldn't have a grandma here in the USA, if it wasn't for me. For Sophia I am Omi, which is granny in German.

She is just a lucky girl with three grandmas, but only two grandpas.

We love each other.

I used to say, and still sometimes say I have a practice grand daughter, but in reality I have 3 grandkids. :)

Moni

Maybe you & the parents can decide on a good 'title' for your relationship.

Grandmother, Godmother, Auntie Mame...

I think, if I were the child, that I'd be confused & maybe unsure of my value if I were someone's 'practice' grandchild.

Bless you for your loving heart.
Relish it, revel in it, make sure those kids know that you love them & that you're committed to them.

for years I called 2 of my mother's bff's "aunt".. knew from the very start they were no relation, but we saw them more than my real aunts and uncles...perhaps this title would be more acceptable to some, but as long as the kids are well aware you're just best friends with the parents I can't see the problem...aka granny laura....

so many children these days don't have the advantage of the real grandparents being anywhere close by (my parents were in one state and my in-laws another) I'd have LOVED to have had an elder help and care for my kids on that wonderful level...

Where I live the Filipino population is quite high..a lot of my friends and my kids friends growing up have "a lot of Aunties" which more often means " my mom's friend".
One of our good friends is "uncle" P to the boys but his wife is Miss P.

But it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks, but those in the middle of your situation. :)

When I was growing up ( I am old) we were never allowed to call our parents friends by their first names.... they were always 'aunt, uncle or grand....? To my child eyes and ears, those people would be the people who would 'stand in' for my parents if they were gone.... and they were allowed act like parents when necessary..... otherwise everyone was Mr. or Mrs. Even my children were brought up to always refer to people by title, rather than first name. So they too, had their Aunt Ruby and Uncle Dave.... friends and not relatives. I grew up in those newly formed communities far from 'family' while working in the war effort, my kids grew up in military communities far from USA, and our friends WERE more like relatives. Some times we even had wills drawn up so that if anything happened to me and DH our "stand-in-relatives" (Aunt Ruby and Uncle Dave) would raise our children.

So, to me, it does not seem strange for extended families to include many non-relatives wearing family names. I guess genealogists could be confused by that, but I do believe it has been like that for many generations.

I think it's wonderful! I'd proudly share my own grandkids with someone who very clearly loves them like a grandparent as you seem to love them. As a former school secretary, I saw MANY children with more than four grandparents. Divorced couples often add an "extra" granparent to the line. I see your plan as a huge BENEFIT to those children. Go for it!

I am a grandma and a great grandma. I have a niece that I watched from when she was a few months old she named me momma and my DH pop pop. She also had special names for her real grandparents MImi and Nana and popster and poppy. I was never called Aunt Mary by her. I love her to pieces and her brother but she has a "special"place in my heart. I would let the child decide what to call you and in your mind you can call yourself grandma.
Mary

When we were kids, we had an older woman next-door who was very nice to us and occasionally babysat. She was referred to as Grandma Binger (Binger was her last name). I honestly thought she was one of my grandmas even though I had 2 others. One day in school the teacher was teaching about family trees and I answered I had 3 grandmas. Later I mentioned this to my mother and I could tell she was taken off guard and explained she really wasn't a relative. It made absolutely no difference to me, nothing changed and I wasn't upset by that, and I went about my day. No matter what the title, you will have that role in their lives. I see no harm in being a grandparent in this situation.

The concept of a "traditional family" now is so diluted and blended now that the only thing that really matters is that all kids feel loved and secure.

I think that calling them your honorary grandchildren would be very nice. And you could be their honorary grandmother. Although you didn't ask, I don't care for "practice grandchildren" at all.

Taking this to a little different perspective....what about adopted children? The child calls the new parents Mom and Dad, yet those parents were not the birth parents. Again, it is not relationship by blood, but by love.

Nanny98, I'm old too and just like your post, our neighbors were all aunts and uncles or grandmas and grandpas who could "parent" us as needed. I loved them more than my biological relatives whom we hardly ever saw.

Our daughter is not our bilogical daughter, but adopted by love and we couldn't love her more if we had given birth to her.

I am even older than Nanny98, :~) and I grew up calling my parent's friends Aunt or Uncle. That was because children were taught to respect their elders, and would never call them by their given names.

I think at 6 and 9 years old these children don't need the confusion in their lives. I believe changing their nick names for you now is something you want, and wouldn't change any of the feelings you each have for each other.

I expect the children's parents have already explained the relationship to the children. After all, the children chose the names they call you..

Sue

I agree with those who say you can't have too many grandparents! Not grandkids, so far as that goes :-). If the parents don't mind you calling yourself Grandma, there's no reason not to. I don't think it will confuse the kids at all. Just drop the word 'practice' and they'll probably not even notice. Seems they think of you as Grandma already anyway. Have you ever heard the saying 'It takes a village to raise a child'? What better thing than a village of loving grandparents!

My own kids had 'Grandma Ruth' a very loving baby sitter who turned into a grandma because we loved her and she loved us :-)

I am not interested in having the kids call me gramdma . We will be "Lala & Poopy" I am just wanting to call them my grandkids. It is not going to change anything as far as the kids go, I just want to call them my grandkids when talking or posting. They love us more than their dad's parents(the ones in Germany) only because they are not so nice.

Precious Finn is not really my grandson but I call him that when talking with strangers at the park or playground. His mom suggested to me when he was an infant that I be his grandma. Then when he was a little older they asked me what I would like him to call me and I said "Grammy". They refer to me as "Grammy" or Grammy Linda". Not long ago when he was at my house, out of the blue he said "Grammy, I love you." Melted my heart. I couldn't love him more if I had given birth to him. He has 5 grandmas but I am the only one he sees regularly. His mom's mom lives several hours away, his dad's parents live in another state and are in poor health. His birth mom's mom lives in another state and is his "nana". His birth dad's parents live in another state. I am the luckiest one of his grandmas because I spend time with him 2 or 3 times a week.

I think some of you, in your responses, have this turned around. It's not what the kids call them - that could be anything at all. I think her question is about how she would refer to them when talking to other adults.

Several of my kids' friends have close, lifelong as-if-family relationships with friends of their parents. They're most certainly referred to as Uncle or Aunt X. But in the other direction, the adult would refer to them as their friend's child or their godchild, not as their niece or nephew.

When your own children have children how will they feel about you calling their children and your good friend's children your grandchildren?

Maddielee, my son doesn't have any kids and does not plan to have any. He is just fine with me calling Finn my grandson.

Ahha.... Right Snidley..... I would always be "Pearl's girl" and my children would always be introduced as "Ellie's kids".

PS.... Even my bio grands are introduced and referred to as "Debi's son/child/etc." and Sister's son, etc..... So what IS the problem. "My friend Debi's child" seems rather effortless.

Laura, it's great that you love these children so. I still think that "practice grandchildren" does them a disservice. Like you are practicing on them while waiting for the real thing. As I've already said, honorary works in my mind. It may or may not for you.

Whatever the case may be, love these children as you wish. They will be the better for it.

Suzieque

My friend is in a similar situation and she refers to the children as her "bonus grandkids".

Laura I think it's really nice that you have such a close relationship with the family.

BTW in their wills, it is stated that if something happens to them, that we get the kids, and if we are gone Molly gets them.

I think we will always be called "Lala & Poopy" and from now on they will be my grandkids. My kids understand how it is with the kids and don't mind one bit..

Smart decision, Laura. I'm happy about that.

I love this from lindaohnowga:
"Blood doesn't make you family.....love does."
A child can never be loved too much.

My DDIL runs a home day care. When I stop by, ALL of the kiddos call me "Grammie" and some run up to me. I give them all attention.
If I see them outside of that setting, they call me "Grammie." The parents just laugh.... soon enough, they'll realize I'm not their "real grammie" but someone who cares about them to give them a hug and share a doting moment with them.

I call them my "grand-friends" and I love on them as if they were blood related.

These kiddos will treasure the love you share with them. It's wonderful that you do!

I agree that kids can't have too any grand parents or aunts and uncles. If you feel the need to qualify the relationship I like honorary.

My kids were raised to call neighbors mr & mrs and certain others aunt and uncle. And those special older adults were grandma and grandpa. They know the difference now at 27 & 30, and knew it when they were little. I am 55 and also have " honorary" grands.

Kids need all the love they can get.

Tami

I was greeted as Grandmother Smith when I went to read weekly to my grandson's class.

One of the students decided to name me that and it stuck with all the others.

Loved it!