I love your dark pink "child" hibiscus, woody. My hibiscus include a white with red eye, a dark burgundy, and a white all grown from traded seed and a Plum Crazy. Also planted a deep red, Fireball, this spring. Surprising I don't have any pink. There is a Pink Swirl that I have my eye on at a local nursery. May pick it up if it is still there in another week or two when they have their fall close out sale.

here's another one in a more positive light, if only because they MAKE it positive. God bless them! "Who wants to share what they wished for?" Lam asks. Every arm in the roomful of children flies up. Support Director Gary Lam points to Andrew, a cherubic six-year-old boy with curly brown hair. "Swimming with the dolphins!" Andrew calls out, beaming. Several dozen other campers bounce up and down, eager to share similar experiences. "Meeting Mickey," cries Jordan. "I got a shopping spree in a toy store!" says Kendall. After each wish is revealed, moans of envy echo around the room. "What other good things have happened because you have cancer?" An older boy across the circle, about eleven years old, raises his hand. "Being sick has brought my family closer together. We spend way more time now doing fun stuff." "If I never went to Children's Hospital," a nine-year-old girl, wearing a pink bandana to cover her bald head, says next, "I never woulda met my best friend!" She squeezes the hand of the pig-tailed girl in a matching bandana, seated next to her. "I have a new appreciation for life," says Jake, a counselor and former camper, now in his early twenties. "I've crammed more experiences into the last five years than most people have in their lifetime." Jake is not only the guitar-playing comedian all the campers worship. He's also survived the same battle they are currently fighting. Lam nods appreciatively. "What would you say is the best thing about cancer?" Every hand flies up into the air again and Matthew, a mischievous ten-year-old with shaggy blond hair, is chosen. He smirks, and announces proudly, "The best part is getting to look Cancer in the face and say Ha Ha. Beat You!'" Everyone laughs. Seven-year-old Ella, who has been waving her arm frantically for the past few minutes, can't contain herself a moment longer. "The best part about cancer is getting to come to camp!" she squeals, before clamping a hand over her mouth sheepishly. Ella is referring to Camp Goodtimes - a pediatric oncology camp nestled in the University of British Columbia Research Forest in Maple Ridge, British Columbia. It could easily rival Disneyland for the title of "Happiest Place on Earth." My first encounter with Camp Goodtimes came four years ago after reading a story in Chicken Soup for the Volunteer's Soul, which inspired me to go see the magic for myself. I've been changed ever since. The feather-light little girl snuggled on my lap shifts her weight slightly and jars my attention back to the room. Dani has been listening intently to the discussion going on around her without actively participating. It's hard to believe this sweet girl is the same sad, sick-looking child who stormed into my cabin on the first day, furious with the world, and anything but a happy camper. "The sickest kid in camp," a fellow volunteer had warned me. "So let's not let it stop her from having the time of her life." Dani had barely spoken a word the first few days but was silently soaking it all in, and soon began thriving. Gary Lam circles the room, handing each child a small square of paper and instructing them to write down or draw a picture of something that brings a smile to their face. Dani furrows her eyebrows and sucks on the end of her marker; then she flops on her tummy and swaps the marker for a pink crayon, and begins printing letters carefully. "Do you need help thinking of something?" I whisper nervously. The poor kid has been through so much in the past year, battling treatments and brain surgeries. What could she possibly have to smile about? She shakes her head at me impatiently, as I'm obviously interrupting her thoughts. I glance around the circle at Andrew, Ella, Matthew, and all the other new members of my extended camp family. It's going to be heartbreaking to say goodbye in a matter of days. As magical as these precious weeks of summer are, the frustrating part is leaving this enchanted forest behind and returning to reality, where well-meaning friends just don't realize that the cure rate for childhood cancer is actually quite high and that many of the campers will survive and return as counselors. "You must have had the most depressing time with all those dying kids." I reflect on the summer's activities. Kayaking through the early morning mist. Baking cookies in our pajamas. Water fights of epic proportions. Breaking into spontaneous song and dance whenever the desire struck. "Now it's time to share our smiles with the rest of the world," Gary informs the kids. My campers follow me down a gravel path to the lake, holding hands and clutching strings with dozens of balloons dancing in the breeze and bonking our heads with rubbery thuds. We kneel on the creaky dock and begin the countdown: "3Â..2Â..1!" Dozens of balloons with paper messages attached dancing in the breeze and bonking our heads we release the balloons - and our optimistic thoughts - up into the sky and out into the universe, watching as they slowly float up, up and away. "Blow!" Gary yells. We huff and puff and watch the colorful spheres as they finally disappear from sight. As I survey the young crowd craning their necks for a final glimpse, I marvel at Gary's ability to take a bunch of sick kids and turn a discussion of childhood cancer into such a positive experience. No one was thinking of the hard times. No one was wondering who would be back next summer and who wouldn't. Dani glances up at me and grins. Just moments earlier, before she had carefully folded her paper in half, sealing her message inside, she'd quickly flashed the paper open to give me a peek. In bold pink writing, her message simply said: "I Smile Because I'm Alive."

Sorry I was having a bad weekend, I didnt mean to lash out, Im just upset with the whole situation....I had no intention of harming his visitation, he has visitation set up already, he just hasnt had the chance to change it to have her come spend the summers with us for a little while. BM said to the law guardian that she wouldnt mind that, but then when I spoke to her she said that was never going to happen, that her daughter was never going to leave the state. I never said I wanted her to bring Abby to me, I want her father to see her, that's all. I do not EXPECT her to let me see Abby. I seriously was just trying to get along with her and she hurt my feelings with what she said so, I am Human, lashed out, it was a mistake and I cant take it back..... So anyway, he does have visitation, it jsut doesnt work since he isnt in the same state anymore. She also never told the courts she was moving, so when he was gone, they had a court date in the wrong county....Things have just been so tough, and I guess I just want to understand why BM is being this way. The relationship ended badly, I understand that, but it was her that cheated and gave up on him. and took his daughter away without saying why... I guess she knows thats the only way she can hurt him...and its working.....and in the process she is hurting me too. I just want to understand why she is not thinking of her daughter in all this.....Oh and about the phone calls, she doesnt have an answering machine, it just keeps ringing and ringing, and she will not give her cell phone number. Her house phone is private, and whenever she calls my husband, it is from a private number, and its not always from her home phone so she blocks her cell phoen number too, idk why, cause she gave him a fit about not having his cell phone number......Im really sorry for being a jerk on this forum... I just took it all as a personal insult and this is a very hard situation so it made me feel worse then I already felt.....I guess all I can do, is believe that God has a reason for this and that God has a plan that will work out in the end for all of us, including BM. All I care about is Abby and I just want her to know that her father and I love her very much, and Im scared of all the time we have been away from her that she will think that her father dosnt love her and he does. He donst like confrontation, like any guy, and when he ahs to fight just to talk to his daughter, it stresses him out a great deal. I know its not an excuse.... I just see what he has been through with all thsi and most of all he doesbnt want to see his daughter get hurt so he just doesnt bother calling cause he doesnt feel like fighting all the time. I just wish this whole situation was different...Things will eventually work out, just not when i want them too......

"I think under the circumstances she should live with mom. I don't know if mom pursued it though." Nope. Her mom has not pursued it. The court has basically tied her hands by requiring her to have an evaluation done (because she lied to the mediator & coached SD to lie to the mediator, so the mediator declined to make a recommendation) first... at her expense ($6,000) She has already told DH she does not have any money... of course she has since had another baby too. The only way she can go live with her mom at this point is if DH hands over custody. He is not willing to do that.. for a few reasons. (and money is not one of them) 1. When BM left SD, she also left her older DD with grandma. Coincidentally, BM claims older DD came to live with her at the beginning of this school year... the exact same time grandma moved to the town where BM lives. DH & I believe older DD is still living with grandma, but maybe using BM's address for school there so BM can 'prove' her older DD lives with her. If she wanted her kids with her, wouldn't she try to make that happen? If DH were to send SD to live with her mom, there's a very good chance that SD would end up living with others... grandma or BF's mother & not with BM. 2. DH is watching closely what is happening with older DD. She is wearing heavy make up & provacative/tight/trashy clothes at age 14. She looks 19. BM and/or Grandma allow her to use the computer/internet unsupervised... unless one of them is watching her at 1am-2am when she is posting things on FB. and BM's BF has two sons, right around the same ages as BM's daughters... and the older one left what DH considers inappropriate comments on older DD's FB page... and BM commented too, showing she knows about it but instead of having them remove the comments, she added to it... because she is more of a 'friend' to her than a parent. 3. BM has shown absolutely no concern for the things that DH feels are important for SD. SD is being assessed for ADHD, BM is choosing to not be involved at all. SD is failing in most of her classes, BM has chosen not to come to school conferences or meetings. If BM has no concern for what is happening in SD's life right now, why would that change if SD were living over there? As for spending my day with people I resent... DH gets SD up and out of the house while I am getting ready for work. I may say good morning if I see her. She now goes to after care until after I get done at work.. I pick her up at 6pm, her dad gets home around 6:30 or 7. I make dinner, she sits in her room. I play with the baby, she sits in her room. I watch TV, she sits in her room. DH comes home & she calls him into her room... he checks her binder, they talk & he goes to get cleaned up for dinner... she sits in her room. Dinner is served, she sits at the table... usually with her hand on the side of her face so I can't see her and she can't see me. She finishes her dinner & says thank you, and goes back to her bedroom until it's time for her to take her shower & get ready for bed. Nobody 'makes' her stay in her room. She is welcome to come into the living room and join the family... we have told her that many times. She usually declines. But, she has also told her mother that we make her stay in her room, eat her dinner alone, we won't let her play outside or we make her play outside in an electrical storm... whatever she needs to get a reaction from BM. It's a sad existence and life for a little girl... and a far cry from before her mom moved away or when she first lived here full time. She would ask me to take her to her friends house to play, or the park.. or we would go shopping & have lunch. I used to take her to girl scouts, karate, dance & swim lessons... and quite often, BM would get her panties in a twist that I am doing "mom" things and taking karate is only going to confuse her... because BM had taken her to tae kwon do & "it's a completely different form of martial arts that leaves SD confused" and BM insisted SD didn't want to do it, even though SD told us she did.... that is the kind of BS we have had to deal with when we try to do anything with SD. We looked into religious education, hoping she could get something out of it. DH is Catholic, BM is Presbyterian. We want her to learn about the ten commandments & the golden rule... we are not practicing Catholics, but the church has a youth group & we thought it was a good idea. BM found out, called DH yelling at him that SD is not going to be Catholic because she is Presbyterian & religion follows the mother... all the while DH could hear SD in the background listening to her mother yelling at her father. (and I'm not interested in any debate on religion or on who has the right or doesn't have the right to choose the religion...) the point is that BM is not practicing any religion either & SD hasn't been exposed to either religion... in my opinion, it shouldn't matter if they both want to take their child to both churches... let her learn both and make up her own mind what she wants to believe. But, that is the kind of stuff BM says and does to keep us from doing anything with SD. We have had talks with her about the lying... breaking down, crying, heart to heart talks and she knows that it is unacceptable for her to tell lies about us (she has also lied about DH) and yet, she continues to do it. We understand WHY she does it. DH cannot stop her from talking to her mom... and he has tried to tell BM what SD is doing, but she takes a defensive position. (BTW, SD also lies about her mom spending time with her... she lies to make us look bad, and she lies to make her mom look good.) You wouldn't tolerate your DD running around, spreading lies... and your DD would probably not do it because she cares what you think. SD seems to only care what BM thinks, and BM is the one that has taught SD to lie.. she has even lied for SD. I don't necessarily dislike SD, I don't trust her and I dislike the way she treats me with the things she does. I agree it is a horrible way to live.. not pleasant for her, nor for me. I wish it could be different and maybe someday, she will want it to be different. As for her mother, she has used the excuse that she has no money for gas to come see her school play, watch her perform in band, cheer her at her track meets, or even come pick her up on Fridays... but then she went & had another baby that I am sure SD will begin to notice that when the baby needs things, BM finds the money for it. and of course BM has time for the baby... even though she hasn't really had time for SD for 3 years. I guess the saddest part is that BM does not want to have a close relationship or be involved in SD's day to day life, but she also does not want me to either. So, SD is the one that suffers with a miserable life. This is probably an extreme case, but this is what I mean when mom's are so hell bent on being angry at dad's or jealous/insecure of anyone else loving or being involved in their child's life, or just plain territorial... it hurts the kids in one way or another. The stepparent may or may not have a relationship with the child... I am not saying that without the mom's interference, the child would love or have a relationship with the stepparent... but it certainly closes the door to that possibility when the mom causes problems. There's nothing wrong with a mom feeling jealous/insecure or not wanting another woman having a relationship with their child... maybe those are natural, instinctual feelings. But, to act on them to prevent such a relationship from forming because it's YOUR child... is just wrong, in my opinion. and I apologize for the hijack & very long post.