What to do about the cruelness of your boyfriends child's mother
hotgurl225
17 years ago
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coolmama
17 years agolast modified: 9 years agohotgurl225
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For mothers who are estranged from their adult child
Comments (151)Straycat.. This is exactly what I want to communicate in this documentary.. as I mentioned on another thread.. many of us have the same voice same stories same thoughts.. I think we have to band together and express ourselves.. what will our society be like in the future if this is an acceptable practice. You know that by treating us the way they do, they are showing their children that this is an appropriate behavior. I have been talking to Mark Sichel about this and he has agreed to be part of my video as well as an advisor.. he said "I have a great deal of information on this now for my second book which I may finish writing some day, but it's all about the success of relationships having to do with virtue & character. People need a higher purpose (like the correctness of family relationships) and a commitment to courage, humility, correctness....or the result is disastrous. Unfortunately the psychopathic narcissistic behavior is encouraged in our world by commercialism, corporate greed, etc" I think he is right on and at the same time.. I feel sadly as you do.. I could not let them in my life.. I could not trust them ever again... they are total strangers.. big big hugs.....See MoreMother and boyfriend problems
Comments (11)Sounds to me like YOUR judgement is much better than your mother's. It also sounds like she has some very conflicted feelings about your ex-BF and that she is trying to manipulate your life and direct your decisions. I will accept your word for it that moving out of your mother's house right now is not a realistic option. So if you cannot move out physically, make your move a mental one. Simply adopt the attitude that your are an adult, that you have made up your mind, and that you are living your own life. You have made your choice about who to date and are happy with the choice you have made. Now stop listening to your mother. There is also reason to believe she may not have only your best interests in mind. How else can she explain her constant flip-flops on your Ex? Next time she goes off about your Ex, ask her "Why would you want me to be with a drug user who always made me feel bad about myself? Why would you want that kind of life for me when I could have a better life with someone else?" And I wouldn't even ask her to meet your new BF. You ask - she'll deny. You stop volunteering -- then she'll want to meet him. Even then, I'd stall until she puts away Ex-BF's pictures and stops talking about him, saying simply "You still seem to be hung up on Ex-BF. I have moved on, and once you have moved on and are ready to meet someone new, I will bring him over then." Your self-esteem is the biggest issue. Work on that -- in part by tuning out toxic Mom and staying away from bad-news Ex-BF and his druggie friends -- and the rest of your problems will start to become more manageable....See MoreHow do I accept my boyfriend's children?
Comments (10)Yeah......I'm going to have to agree with Ima. There's no magic formula for accepting your bf's children. You just have to be open to it and you have to have the right mind set for this kind of situation. First of all, if you guys were planning to get married, this happened at a perfect time. Now your BF can see that you aren't ready for "good and bad times", or "death till you part." To want to leave him over this sounds a bit......selfish. Secondly, you all need to stop with having all these babies out of wedlock. A child deserves both a mother and father, so if you cannot properly committ to your BF (off and on relationship)having a child should be the LAST thing on your mind. Really, I have more to say over this, but the bottom line is walk away from the situation. Coming in between the parent/child relationship is one of the worst things you can do....See MoreMy boyfriend has a child and an ex that is a little bit tricky
Comments (11)colleenoz, i don't know what to say. But i kinda don't want break up before seeing what's happening. I gave him a warning and told him what i think and he said he agrees with me and he should grow a pair. But i did think what you have just said. Weak character is not a good thing for anything and he is rather weak when it comes to standing up to people. And as you said, sex with an ex is not my concern exactly, but these other things you mention and him saying he doesn't have a control when he does. And i did tell him that and as i said he answered he needs to grow a pair. And he said himself he feels exhausted and fear that he is gonna loose me and his daughter again in a period of few months. I will be honest, for someone for who i am rather sure that loves me...he is not thinking of what he is saying. Talk of 2 and a half hour is an alarm and he called me after that and told me he feels bad about he talked for so long with her. And when it old him not to give out that much of information he told me "as you said...i can't help but talk with her when she talks". That tells me he is either scared of her or didn't get over it. His ex did a lot of crap to him. They had 5 years of on-off relationship which ended up pretty badly. She broke off their engagement over text on Valentines day, she was texting him after break up to let him know she slept with someone else, and later when he would find someone else she would show up at his door to try and win him back. Later on they got a child, she accused him of domestic violence that never happened and put him 5000 pounds into debt cuz he had to go court to see his kid again. So with saying that kind of amount of bad things happen to him caused by her...you are right, he is maybe emotional about her but more in a negative way maybe. But tell me your opinion - you think he is emotionally into his ex? In what way?...See Morechoppymom
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