FIND PROFESSIONALS
SHOP BY DEPARTMENT
Houzz Logo Print
lumpet

My boyfriend has a child and an ex that is a little bit tricky

Lumpet
9 years ago

Let em start from a beginning. I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy who has a two year old. We are in a relationship for smth more then a year now.

I'm ok with him having a kid. His child has to come first and it's two different way of loving, he makes time for both of us and i am proud of him he is caring father and gives his child a lot of emotional care.

He went through a court to be able to see her. His ex for bidden him to see his kid and that has put him into a depression and he went through a lot of troubles to be able to see his child again.

A month ago, she finally had to give in and let him see his kid. He started communicating with her again.

also one of the things that is very logical to me and i think it's alright.

Well it would be alright if my boyfriend didn't start making problems himself in a way. He recently told me he has to keep her sweet so she lets him see his child and i understand that.

But he started saying lately he is very worried how it all looks like and he doesn't trust himself with her. Because before he would be in a relationship and be friends with hsi ex and end up back together in a way sleeping with each other (it's how he got a child). He started talking about how they were talking for 2 and a half hours on the phone and he told her about how he doesn't trust himself and how he feels he is being unfaithful to me by talking to her. So they started talking how they don't wanna make the same mistake again and ruin their current relationships. And she is actually kinda trying to sleep with him again and she is inviting him to his house at night and stuff like that (he never goes cuz he wants her on distance). He is giving out a lot of information to her about how he feels and some info what are our plans for these few months and kinda it's a talk about our relationship.

All it would be fine if he didn't say "i don't trust myself". It kinda feels like their two are making an agreement to be fair to their relationships and he maybe is being honest, but she is kinda trying to sleep with him cuz he is his safety net. And he is not exactly giving her exactly clear cut on this. By saying things he does, sends her a message that she could spin him easily.

I don't think he will really cheat on me with her, but i know my boyfriend is not too strong person and he could let her sneak into our private life. In my opinion talks with her on that kind of personal level, while knowing she is actually trying to sleep with him, are not very welcome.

I told him all this and he said he can't help but not to talk back when she talks. Like things are not in his power.

I'm a bit worried for his lack of character.

I don't know what does he means by not trusting himself exactly. I think he is scared of the contact with her and her. I told him i understand his fears and that getting rid of fears is by taking a situation in your hands.

That's all i could think of.

Any advice, comments on my situation?

Comments (11)

Sponsored
Premier Home Services, Inc
Average rating: 5 out of 5 stars19 Reviews
Loudoun County Complete Turn-Key Contracting Solutions