Thank you both for your reply. I've thought about this, and I'm realizing that the roommate thing is something I haven't done in a while, and thus I'm unable to (re)adapt to. Aside from this drama with the upstairs neighbor, my roommate has some sort of relationship with one of the male neighbors in the building (I came home one time to see them both looking like deer caught in headlights emerging from her room, and she shared the unsolicited steamy details with me later). We had just gone over a contract that she drafted indicating that neither of us needs permission to invite guests over, which I understood since it's her place. However, a week later, one of her dates called around 9pm to say he was in the neighborhood and she let him come in. I left my room to get something from the kitchen, and found the two of them kissing on her couch. After this guy left, the male neighbor she had been intimate with came by. I realize this is her place, but I feel like she's still living somewhat like she doesn't have a roommate, but wants to hold on to the benefits of someone helping to alleviate the bills. While I've considered trying to see if things can be talked and worked out, again I realize that I'm at a point in my life where I have to either be very in-sync with a roommate or living by myself. Another long message, but it's been therapeutic for me all the same to get this out.

No more movies in bed. No more three sleeping in a bed. The child is 8 and she needs her own space. Who does she sleep with when she is at her mother's home? Watch your movies out in the main living area room (whether it be family room, livingroom, whatever). Set a bedtime and let your boyfriend enforce it. When the time comes BF and/or you and BF can take child to her room, tuck her in and that is where she sleeps. Why does child refuse to sleep alone? I'll assume she has her reasons (whether is stems from 'just because she never has' to afraid of the dark, to _________ fill in the blank) Without making this about 'I will sleep on the couch if you give her her own her' , quietly sit BF down and discuss with him that this child is eight. It's not about a kid getting her own way, it's about a child who needs to have her own space and privacy. What is he going to do when child is ten? Now thirteen? You BF is a chicken sh*t for putting this all on you. it should not be about 'it will cause problems between GF and I' or 'GF will be mad' ....it is about what is best for the little girl. I would imagine the child would feel embarrassed to pieces if she thought all her litle friends knew she must sleep with Daddy and/or Mommy every night. BF needs to sit down and talk to the child about boundaries and one's privacy and how everyone needs their own space. It's ok if child is afraid the first few times she sleeps alone, new experiences can be scary, but there is nothing to be afraid of. He's right down the hall blah blah blah. Perhaps he can even leave a small night light on. His goal has to be to get the child comfortable being in her own room by herself, not blaming you, not even putting your feelings against the childs...at 8 the kid belongs in her own bed. It would not matter if you and BF were both her bioparents and a married longterm family unit...kids do not belong sleeping night after night in their parents bed. Since it's been going on for years, it will take a bit to break the need and habit, but Bf needs to understand he is not being 'kind' to the child by letting this continue. It's his job as her parent to help raise her into a self confident well adjusted person, so far neither the girl's mother or father is doing a very good job on that point. Can I ask why child does not want to come over unless you are home? Is there more going on here than a little girl just not wanting to sleep alone?

Ask BF if she did the same thing with wife #2 ... did she cause much trouble in that relationship? BF has to call mom and tell her basically his home is like vegas what happens here stays here. If you are in it for the long haul... document her complaints today mom called to complain we ate dinner at 9PM. He also needs to tell his DD that mom shouldn't be asking her stuff and when she does tell mom to call him if she has any questions. Change will not happen overnight but his DD needs to know its not her fault. Its her mom's problem not hers. I have been going through this for 3 years .... I figure it stop when my SD turns 18. (10 years from now) Others will have more advice for you .

If I knew it would be coming next week, I probably would. But it's "maybe" it'll show up at Eurostoves next Friday, or *maybe* it'll show up the Friday after that. Of course I've never had granite so maybe I just don't know how bad it will be ;-) And while I won't be able to cook, I will be able to move the mountain of packed kitchen stuff out of my other rooms. And I need to do that in order to finish gutting the old kitchen and (more importantly) finish running the heat mats and tile from the new kitchen across the rest of the space. And then backsplash tile, plumbing, etc. We have weeks worth of work lined up that are dependent on the granite being in.