I know of many couples who light a candle together for each of the parents who are deceased. I always thought it was a great gesture.

Maybe plant a flower/plant/tree in your local park--ask first. Did she belong to a group? Senior Citizens? Was she in a home? Church? As to a poem, write down your thoughts in a short speech and it may fall into place. You could check at the Library for book on poems. Bookstore has variety also. Sending my condolences for the loss.

We used a bouquet of flowers that had a candle in the center. It was displayed on a raised stand just to the left of the bride.

lovely sentiment heather.

try either of these two websites, i'm sure you can find something appropriate.

maryanne

http://www.memorialprint.com/prayers/popularprayers_1.html

http://www.memorialprayercards.com/pages/prayercollection.html

Here are a few that I gathered following my mother's passing:

Afterglow
Author Unknown

I'd like the memory of me
to be a happy one.
I'd like to leave an afterglow
of smiles when life is done.

I'd like to leave an echo,
whispering down the way,
of happy times, and laughing times,
of bright and sunny days.

I'd like the tears of those who grieve
to dry before the sun,
with happy memories that I leave,
when life is done.

-----------------------------------

Fill not your hearts with pain and sorrow
but remember me in every tomorrow
Remember the joy, the laughter, and the smiles
I've only gone to rest for a little while
Although my leaving causes pain and grief
my going has eased my hurt and given me relief
So dry your eyes and remember me
not as I am now, but as I used to be
Because, I will remember you all
and look on with a smile
Understand, in your hearts
I've only gone to rest a little while
As long as I have the love of each of you
I can live my life in the hearts of all of you

------------------------------

Miss me but let me go

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little--but not too long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me--but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss Me--But Let me Go!

----------------------------

Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us everyday,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed, so very dear.

Here's a nice one that might work:

If Roses grow in Heaven,
Lord please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my Mother's arms
And tell her they're from me.
Tell her I love her and miss her,
And when she turns to smile,
Place a kiss upon her cheek
And hold her for awhile.
Because remembering her is easy,
I do it every day,
But there's an ache within my heart
Because I am missing her today.
Author Unknown

The Rose Still Grows Beyond the Wall

Near a shady wall a rose once grew,
Budded and blossomed in God's free light,
Watered and fed by the morning dew,
Shedding it's sweetness day and night.

As it grew and blossomed fair and tall,
Slowly rising to loftier height,
It came to a crevice in the wall
Through which there shone a beam of light.

Onward it crept with added strength
With never a thought of fear or pride,
It followed the light through the crevice's length
And unfolded itself on the other side.

The light, the dew, the broadening view
Were found the same as they were before,
And it lost itself in beauties new,
Breathing it's fragrance more and more.

Shall claim of death cause us to grieve
And make our courage faint and fall?
Nay! Let us faith and hope receive--
The rose still grows beyond the wall,

Scattering fragrance far and wide
Just as it did in days of yore,
Just as it did on the other side,
Just as it will forevermore.

~ A. L. Frink ~

Here is the URL where you can see a beautiful site with this poem,.. It is a copyrighted site but might give you an idea how to make a way to display the poem.

Uxorial, that is the poem I have selected for my own service.

Sue

Here is a link that might be useful: The Rose That Grows

I don't know if you meant a poem on the program or a program to read. When DH and I got married the minister really did not want us to verbally mention the deaths of my mother and his father. Other people told me they were told the same thing (different churches) because it incorporates such a sad thing into what is supposed to be a happy day. We did mention them both when the minister did the prayers for specific things. And on the back of the program I had the following (names changed):

On this day we acknowledge and lovingly remember

Mary Smith
Mother of the Bride

&

John Jones
Father of the Groom

"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."

How to Spend your Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak at a funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone  .

He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.
(1900 Â 1970)
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earthÂ
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars the house the cash
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hardÂ
Are there things youÂd like to change??
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider whatÂs true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more,
And love the people in our lives
Like we have never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogyÂs being read
With your lifeÂs actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Author Unknown

The Connecticut Nutmegger © September, 2002 Page 193

I attended a wedding where the bride's mom had passed away 3 years prior and the groom's mom was also deceased. This was a young couple. The program mentioned the late mother's on the last page. During the wedding toasts the bride's dad said something like "two women who should be here tonight are not here because they died prematurely" and he mentioned them by name. It was very touching but yet did not add a gloom to the wedding.

this is a very short poem author unknown...

we are connected my mother and i, by an invisible cord not seen by the eye.
it's not like the cord that connects us 'til birth, this cord can't be seen by any on earth.
this cord does it's work right from the start. it binds us together attached at my heart.
i know that it's there though no one can see the invisible cord from my mother to me.
the strenth of this cord is hard to describe. it can't be destroyed, it can't be denied.
it's stonger than any cord man could create, it withstands the test can hold any weight.
and though you are gone, though you're not here with me, the cord is still there but no one can see.
it pulls at my heart, i am bruised...i am sore, but this cord is my lifeline as never before.
i am thankful that God connects us this way, a mother and child death can't take away..

Thanks for all the idea's.
My thoughts are the same about getting to in depth about it becasue we are getting married and it should be a happy time and not more time to mourn. I really like the idea that sue36 has