Need help creating a garden - memory of my 17 years old grdaught

15 years ago

Hi, I am a grieving grandma who lost my beautiful seventeen year old granddaughter on May 19, 2007.

To work through my grief and looking for light in my darkness I started clearing brush around my yard, I live in the country... and then decided to make a memorial garden for my granddaughter...I have an area that is quite shady. When it rains and the snow melts there is water in a stream at the edge of this spot... so it feels boggy, but it gets dry too..... The area is circular and there are trees in the middle of it, the dry/wet stream with a lot of weeds, an old railroad bed...on either side..I covered a semicircular area with newspapers, dumped mulch on it, planted some asclepias..

I plan to measure the area and find a place wher I can post some pictures of the area soon. I work very slowly - grieving people move slowly - Next spring I want to start planting...

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Comments (5)

agardenstateof_mind
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss.

You will work through your grief in your own way, in your own time. The physical and mental demands of creating this special garden will probably be good for you at this time as long as you don't overdo.

There are many plants that will thrive in areas that swing between boggy and dry ... check your local sources (extension service, native plant society) for plants suitable for a rain garden - these should be appropriate for your woodland garden.

What a sharp contrast this is to another recent thread, in which the OP has come to think of gardening as pointless and depressing!

I look forward to photos of your work in progress. It sounds like it has the potential to be a lovely, relaxing and restorative spot.
j_nail
15 years ago
Very sorry for your loss. I agree that this experience will help you work through your sorrows in a positive way.

My immediate thought was to create a labyrinth garden. Wandering the circular paths inspires peace of mind and tranquility and are often used in hospitals and the like for a similar purpose to yours. I'm picturing one that is partially enclosed for privacy, adorned with cool, calming colors, some statues and a quiet place to sit. I don't know if you will like the idea or not, but I did a Google search to find you an example.

{{gwi:51577}}

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I suggest making observations and some mental/physical notes of the site (regarding light, moisture, wind, etc.) and some photos to take in to a local nursery for some suggestions on appropriate plant material. Also take your time: look through some magazines, books and on the internet. Find pictures of styles, "looks", plants, etc that you like and take a few of your favorites with you to the nursery as well.

This will be a lovely thing to do in memory of your loved one. Again, do take your time as the process has the potential of contributing to your healing as much as the finished product.

I would love to see some pictures as you go along as well!

Take care.
Janelle
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Thanks all for the kind words and suggestions! Lucy, You are so sweet and thanks again for the card! Karen, I do have a bleeding heart in a container as they don't grow well in the ground here. I do love the plant! Thank you! Daniella, I will add the Snow on the Mountain to my list. That may work! Thanks! Collielover, I am sorry to hear about your dogs too. That is an interesting idea of planting flowers the colors of the dogs. Both of mine were blond. I do have a couple of yellow flowers on Kalei's garden. Kylie, I also have the Snow Queen and thought that will be perfect to put on her garden. I looked up the zone last night and it is not hardy here. Mine is in a container and very small, but I love it! It has not bloomed yet. The Rock Rose looks like a great plant but from what I can tell it is not hardy here either. Thank you for offering you are so generous! Ryan, I would love to treat myself to my favorite nursery! Unfortunately we have very few nurseries left in Tulsa and with minimal selection. How I miss the plant nurseries we used to have. I buy most of my plants on Ebay. Checked my favorite sellers and didn't see anything. If anyone knows of any good websites to list part sun plants by zone I would appreciate it. I only found a few sites. Here are some of the plants I am thinking about, but will need to find a source for them. Acanthus mollis (Bears Breeches) Brunnera macrophylla (Jack Frost) BLETILLA STRIATA - HARDY Orchid Jacobs Ladder variegated (touch of class) Lamium (purple dragon) Thanks again...I will keep searching as I really want the memorial garden to be a tribute to Meilissa! Joyce
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We have to share our building and property with Soil,water 4 H and the Housing Authority.We are downtown without much land(not much of anything to be honest)Anyway they did plant a tree for a fellow MG as a memorial but we have since been told we cannot do that everytime someone passes away. Maybe your MGs could put in a garden and add a brick or stepping stone for each of them as sort of a memory garden. Heres an idea I am doing for my family WHILE they are ALIVE. I am not much on parties but I want a stepping stone memory party. We will all decorate our own stone and it will be in my garden NOW but of course have so much more meaning when they pass on. Each person is to bring things about them to decorate their stone.(like a mosaic) A broken favorite plate . a key or coin of theirs,a horseshoe ,an old peice of jewelry,My son has some old plates he hung on his wall as a kid with ships,new wife won't allow them in their home so that is perfect.My in laws have a cottage on Lake Erie and have collected lots of sea glass.A carpenter may add nails. Maybe as gardeners they could make impressions of their favorite flowers by pressing them into the wet cement. I told my dad when he died I'd cremate him and put his ashes IN the mortar or grout!He can be with me in the garden every day!LOL
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You can cut into the wood as long as there is still foliage growth that emerges from that area. It is cutting back below any green or foliar growth that can be a problem. IME, overly rich soils can easily cause this problem. So often planting areas that have been amended to accommodate the needs of other, fussier plants are just too rich for the likes of lavender, which really prefers a "tough love" sort of situation :-)
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beacu
Original Author
15 years ago
Thank you for your kind words and suggestions... I will look for info on rain garderns http://www.picturehosting.com/gallery.php?u=beacu&g=Memorial-Garden
These are pictures of my spot...
Thanks again
agardenstateof_mind
15 years ago
What a beautiful site with a lovely view as well. My inclination would be to try to keep a very natural feel to it. With careful planning (and with the winters you have in zone 3/4, I'll bet you've got plenty of time for planning!) you can do that and still have something blooming from earliest spring until late fall.

I hope these web sites may be helpful to you:

Prairie & Wetland Center - rain garden plants (with photos)
http://www.critsite.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/plants.listdetail/listID/11/index.htm

Brooklyn Botanic Garden, listing of native plants suitable for rain gardens, by region:
http://www.bbg.org/gar2/topics/design/2004sp_raingardens.html
annzgw
15 years ago
I came across this tonight while searching for edging plants and thought of you. It's a beautiful design that may give you some ideas.

I'm so sorry..........

Here is a link that might be useful: memory garden

Need help creating a garden - memory of my 17 years old grdaught

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agardenstateof_mind

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Need help creating a garden - memory of my 17 years old grdaught

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agardenstateof_mind

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