I hoped to send you my email personally, but you don't have your address included on your page...so, here will have to do....I want to say that I'm terribly sorry to hear about the upheaval.......life throws us some real curves, at times, but somehow we manage to 'plug along', and before long we're able to enjoy life again, rather than just coping. So, hang in there and KNOW that things DO get better...we DO survive, and we DO become stronger and are happy once more. These aren't just words, but honestly the truth, and I believe wholeheartedly in the statement that says 'what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger!' You can do it, girl!

Thank you Sandra :)

I can imagine how my life might be about 6-12 months down the track. It's just the living through it each day that is so hard. I'm also the "organizing" one in the relationship, so it's up to me to sort out all the moves, utilities, real estate and legal issues etc.

On thursday it was the one year anniversary of my father's death - and I'm still hurting through all of that.

Usually I'm a strong person, but this is really taking it's toll, and I'm so tired mentally emotionally and physically.

Thank you for your support.

My email is a . trathen @ gmail . com
just take out the spaces :)

Ty, We are here for you any time you want to have someone to talk to. We women have to stick together. You will get through this and as Sandra says you will be stronger for it. Colleen

Even the strongest can't take several major life changes without it taking a toll in one way or another - hang in there, things will turn up soon.

Been there done that, AND, things will get better. One day at a time, or one hour, or one minute.....whatever it takes! You can do it!! I will keep a good thought for you!!

Ty, you are in my prayers. There isn't anything we can say to fix it, so please take comfort knowing things will get better.

((hugs and prayers))
beverly

Ty,
you're in my prayers. It is a tough time, to be sure, but you will make it and remember to give your troubles over to God so he can help you through.
Sue

Ty,

You have lots of BIG emotional hits in a short space of time.

((((Ty))))
So hugs given, and I understand how difficult this must be. All that said, do take at least one hour per week to just do something to please yourself. The payoff will be enormous.

I'm not trying to belittle anything you are going through, but that hour per week really made a difference to me many years ago.

You are in my thoughts tonight, and I have a candle lit for you.

Mary

Sending good thoughts your way. Please try to remember that when He closes one door, He opens another for us. Hang in there--better days are in your future. Hugs!

I've been there too. Trust us - it will get better, although what you're going through now is hell. It really is a case of be kind to yourself and make sure you have time to do things for yourself. Make him do some of the work too. It should not fall on you to sort out everything. Just sort out your stuff!

I agree with everyone above. One day at a time. Hugs are all I can add to everyone's good advice.

(((((((((((((((((((Ty))))))))))))))))))

Sorry to hear that. It must be especially difficult to have it come out of left field like that. I too agree with what everyone above said. Especially Islay. Obviously you need to be the organizing one to protect yourself and your future, but to the extent that something needs to be done that only benefits him, I would not do it just because you're being mature and friendly. When you decide to walk away from your spouse, you are walking away from everything. That includes the benefits. You don't get a free secretary out of the deal!

I sound bitter! I'm really not, but I've been through a divorce and regret how pleasant I allowed the experience to be for him. That's ok, 12 years later he's divorced a third time and I'm happily married to a SO SUPERIOR husband! Hang in there, as my grandma used to say: The best is yet to be!

I'm so sorry! I haven't had that personal experience, but am dealing with heartache of another sort with a daughter. Consider us your support system, and as someone said, be kind to yourself through all this, I know it must be hard!

So sorry to hear you are going through this ty. Reread Sandra's post. She says it all very well.

Hang in there.
Faye

So sorry for your pain. May each day be a little brighter than the one before.
Sally

I am so sorry to hear about this, ty! You will come out of this a stronger person even though you may not be seeing or feeling it right now.

This is not only your mess. Let him do his share since it was his idea to end your marriage. Your load is heavy enough right now without doing all the work and making it easy for him!

You WILL see the light at the end of the tunnel soon and realize that this marriage was probaby in trouble and not meant to be. There is a special someone for everyone and maybe you just have not him yet. Be kind to yourself and let loved ones help out when they can. Having their support will be so helpful right now.

Just remember," The sun rises after the darkness everyday".

Hang in there,,better days ahead.
(((((((((((((((((((TY)))))))))))))))))))))))
Kathi

I'm thinking of you, too! Maybe you can keep a small quilting project on hand and spend a little time on it each day...a little "me" time.

Keep looking toward that time down the road when this will be in the past!

Donna

Sorry you have to go through this. Life is so unfair sometimes, but just have faith that you will land on your feet in the end. We are here for you.

I was so sorry to read that you are going through such a bad time.

It is very mature of you to act civilized toward your ex, but I'm with Laura and Lucy: No need to go out of your way to smooth his path; right now your main job is to get yourself through this and set your eyes on a better future.

I haven't had your experience, but in 70 years, there have been a few really bad times. And every time, there were joys waiting ahead that I had no idea of. Hold to the thought of all the good things that may be waiting for you once you are over this, and hang in there!
I'm sorry that we can't do more than offer our caring, but here's hoping the house will sell easily for a good price and you find a new one that you will be very happy in. Maybe with a nice sewing room? Take good care of yourself and let us know how things go.

Oh TY,

How chicken shi...on his part. Like the others said do not make it easy for him. And do find time for yourself even if its only a few minutes. In 33 yrs there have been a few rocks in the road for us too. You are strong and you can do this. Go with your girlfriends for a distraction and think of your next quilting project to lighten the stress.

How that we are here.
Hugs
Nanci
Two months, two weeks, 2 hours, 15 minutes and 2 seconds. 3003 cigarettes not smoked, saving $428.03. Life saved: 1 week, 3 days, 10 hours, 15 minutes.

I'm so sorry to hear your bad news Having it come out of left field is the pits. Hang in there.

Not to preach at you but if you have a religious affiliation - go to it. I had a really bad year in '03, went to my doctor for major headaches. She asked me if I was attending and told me to go back. I had slipped out of the habit (for 16 years) went back and, was welcomed as if it had only been 1 week. It felt so good and I've been going ever since.

So sorry things are not going well for you at this time. I have found the Serenity prayer a major help when difficult situations arise for me. My family of origin is not doing well right now and I can't solve things for them. The Serenity prayer helps me to cope!

Thinking of You!
Gwen