Jan, You are so funny. You make me giggle! Yeah, I wrote that so people would look but yeah, a new car is like a family memeber. Nope, it doesn't have sad eyes for sure! Yeah, so we had commented to the dealer about not many 4WD vehicles...They told us its whatever sells for that area. I told him, "well, if you offered 4WD's then they would sell!" BUT, there are a lot of commuters in our area. They travel south to the San Fernenado Valley or the LA basin. He did tell us though that if we went to Montana or Colorado they would look at you like you were a dork if you asked for a 2WD--and that did make sense. AND OH, YES, I would have LOVED to be at the Getaway today! It was a gorgeous day and now we have the RELIABLE 4WD to get us there with no worries. OK, so maybe next week? WE have WEDNESDAY the 11th off for Veterans Day. Go figure! Why can't they just make it a Monday or Friday so we can have a 3 day weekend? Todd is going to try and get that day off so we can GO. OK, so the color is "wave line pearl" 2008 Toyota Highlander 6Cyl 4WD. The one in the photo is a 2010. The blue is about the color of the sky. My first choice was "salsa red pearl" but I'm ok. Its a purty truck anyways! :-) Love, Jules Here is a link that might be useful:

Steffie, I wish we were next-door neighbors, too, but since we live more than just a few miles apart, we'll have to be cyber-neighbors. :) I am far from an expert, just a gardening nut who relentlessly tries to learn and understand and improve what I do as I go along. And, lest you think I have a perfect yard or landscape, let me disabuse you of that notion right away! I have weeds I can't defeat, bermuda that invades beds it shouldn't, trees and shrubs that outgrow the spot where they were oh-so-carefully placed, plants that just give up and die and I never really figure out why they died, etc., etc., etc. Discussing things with my Oklahoma friends and neighbors here at this forum helps me keep things in perspective. It educates me. It offers me encouragement on those days when everything seems wrong and nothing seems right. It gives me new ideas and inspiration. Every one of you is better than me at something that is gardening-related. And, believe me, I know it. So, for example, when one of you writes about hydangeas, I pay attention and soak up everything you say, because one of these days I WILL succeed with hydranges. Have you ever noticed that most all gardeners are just the kindest, most giving and sharing people? You know what I'm talking about.....you see someone working out in the yard and you stop to tell them that you love their irises....and they dig up a couple on the spot and insist you take them, saying...."I needed to divide them anyway". Or, you drop off some of your extra tomatoes and a carton of hen or guinea eggs at a neighbor's house.....and they won't let you leave until you have some of their 'extra' fresh corn and peaches right off the tree, and some bacon from a hog they slaughtered and processed. I've yet to meet a fellow gardener who wouldn't give you the shirt off their back, or loan you their rototiller, or give you tons and tons of advice and ideas, and then apologize to you if their ideas don't work for you. So, I am very touched when you say that I am your hero. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. You have to believe me when I say that I feel the same way about each and every one of you. I believe we are all heroes for one another, and I believe that is how God meant for it to be. Life in this world can be cold, hard, and cruel, at times. For those of us who love to garden, the love, friendship, caring and support we receive from one another is a beautiful gift And, it is a gift I appreciate each and every day. Hugs to you, Steffie, and hugs to all the rest of you too. Dawn

I usually give gifts with the receipt in the box. Like someone else said, I don't want to waste my money giving a gift the receiver doesn't like or can't use. I want THEM to be happy so if I guessed wrong, let them get something they like. Natal: I loved your thought. We have a green pyrex mixing bowl we always use on holidays because it was my MIL's. It's like she's enjoying the holiday with us. Oh, and my DIL's mother just buys stuff at the outlet, then figures out who to give it to later. Mostly clothes, so size is optional. Dee

I think you need two different approaches, one for your DD and one for your DH. If the idea of letting something go so that someone else can use it and treasure it isn't working, I'd stop that and move on to something else. In dealing with your DH, first I'd declutter your stuff as much as possible, which it sounds like you are doing. Then I'd tackle joint things. Let's take the 5 corkscrews. Let's assume they are rattling around in a kitchen drawer. And let's assume that no one really needs more than 1 corkscrew. And let's also assume that you are the main cook and bottle washer in the family, and that the kitchen is largely considered your turf. Approach your DH about the corkscrews. This time, give him a goal that you are working toward. "DH, I'm going through all the kitchen drawers. My goal is to clear them out enough so that I can easily reach into a drawer and grab exactly what I need without having to search for it. This will make cooking easier and faster and more pleasant for me." He should be willing to buy into such a goal. Why would he want to make cooking more difficult for you? "Now, DH darling, we have 5 corkscrews. They are all very nice. Can you tell me which one works the best? Which one means the most to you (sentimental value, actual value, whatever)? How would you feel if we kept only those two?" Note that you are letting him choose which ones to keep. If he fusses, let him pick a third one to keep. If he really fusses, "Okay, I can see that you don't want to let any of these go. That's okay. I will continue to work on the kitchen. Maybe I can create enough space so that we can keep all five. If I can't, then we may have to revisit this. Is that okay with you? Can you think of another solution? Would you like to think about it and get back to me?" I've found that if you make it clear that you are honoring the other person's wishes, *sometimes* they will, in a few weeks or months, voluntarily offer to get rid of some the things you were trying to toss. If they don't, then you make that thing theirs. You can do this with the CD set right away. "Okay, you want to keep these CDs because they look nice. I am giving them to you. They are now yours. You will decide whether to keep them or let them go at a future date." "But, I need to warn you. I am decluttering the family room. My goal is to have a neat, organized and easy to clean family room that only takes 10 minutes every night to pick up. In order to do that, it needs to be easy to put everything away, which means that we can't double-shelve the CDs and books anymore." "These CDs will need to fit on the shelves that we have decided will hold the CDs. That may mean that some other CDs will have to go. But we don't have to make that decision right now." What underlies making the contested object his, is that at some point, you will designate space in the house for all his stuff. A study if you have a room to spare. Certain shelves in the family room and garage and basement. His half of the bedroom closet. You also designate a certain amount of shared space for CDs and DVDs and books and so on. He can keep *anything* he wants in his areas. The kicker is that he's not going to be able to keep *everything* he wants. He's going to run out of room. That's when, in addition to the goal argument, you pull out the cost argument. Storage costs money. You need a certain size house to hold your family and the things it needs and wants. You need to buy storage furniture (shelves, cabinets, etc.) to hold all the things. Sure, you can keep adding more shelves, more cabinets, but at some point, the rooms are crowded and don't look attractive, because of all the stuff in them. Your choice is either to declutter or to buy more storage--rent a self-store unit, buy a bigger house. Storage costs money. Present your DH with a goal that costs money, money that could be spent on storage or that could be saved for your goal--a new car, a romantic cruise for two, college for the kids. And then, if all else fails, take the two corkscrews that DH has determined are most important and leave them where they are. Box up the others along with the CDs and store them somewhere out of the way. But not in a self-store unit, because you are saving money for that romantic cruise. And when the basement, attic and garage are so full that no more of DH's boxed-up extras will fit, some of them will probably be damaged enough that he will let you get rid of them.