I'm pissed!

18 years ago

Trying forever to plan a week's vacation with my eldest nephew to upstate NY and New England... get everything settled with his schedule and his family and finally find a reasonable airfare and there's a butt-head at work who has decided to take 20 days off in a row - all in July! "Management" has decided that we both cannot be off of work at the same time - because of our "expertise" in a particular software program that may or may not even be required during that time. Idiots.

Of course, that's the only time I could take Chris.

Pissed, pissed, pissed....

Thanks for letting me vent.

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Comments (15)

liz
18 years ago
WHOA!! WAIT A HOLD IT??? Who has the most seniority and who asked for vacation time first???? (pissed right along with ya!!) I hope you get it worked out in your favor...you have clearly worked your tail off in planning this vacation!!
mimi_boo
Original Author
18 years ago
I have seniority, but he asked for it first. Seniority means squat around here. Last week they layed off a woman with 18 years.
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Two years is a long time to hold onto something a teen or preteen said. I can remember saying nasty things to my parents when I got angry and thank God they didn't hold it against me for two months, let alone two years. What I see from your post is a step daughter that is a teenager. It's the toughest time in a girls life. Their body is changing, there's peer pressure, 'nobody understands' them and they are trying to find where they fit in... with friends, as a kid, as an adult... She's overweight and perhaps she has low self esteem or poor body image from it. I can imagine how difficult it could be for a teenage girl to be overweight and the peer pressure to be thin. I remember back in high school, I was FAT!!! I mean, I was positively a cow compared to all the dainty, pretty girls that seemed to be so popular, outgoing and cute. I totally felt like an ugly cow. I look at pictures of me back then and I wasn't fat at all. It was only my perception. I was very shy and both of my parents would tell you that I was 'non-communicative' and I hardly ever told my parents what I felt, wanted or needed. If I had, I might have told them I don't want to live with my alcoholic mother but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I suffered in silence.... feeling alone and like nobody would ever understand me or how I felt. I have raised three teenagers and yes, teenagers are selfish. Kids can be taught to share and sometimes it's just part of their personality to share, but people in general, are selfish. We want things the way we want them. Have you ever waited in traffic because not one person will stop to let you in??? I have. It's human nature I think and it's why teaching kids empathy, to share and to give back when they are small is so important. If she hasn't learned that yet, it's her parent's fault and perhaps getting dad to talk to her, get involved in volunteering to charities so she can see how good she has it and how to help those that are less fortunate, etc. (I'm just generalizing because I don't know exactly what you mean when you say she's selfish) As for her perception of you... well, she is a teenager. My kids get annoyed and talk back and I tell them that it's okay to be upset, angry or whatever feeling they have but I won't tolerate them being rude or disrespectful to me. That may not work with a teen step child because she seems to harbor resentment too. What have you done in the past to cause her to resent you? Just like you shouldn't hold onto those things, she shouldn't either but kids will remember things long after we forget. (I will also add that it has been a lot harder for me to forget that my SD wrote a note about how she hates me and I'm the worst stepmother because I gave her cereal instead of biscuits and gravy... it's hard to hear those words come from a child that isn't yours. When my kids say terrible things, I know they still love me. When she says it, in my mind, she probably means it more) Could you sit down and apologize to her and find some common ground to start over. It takes work and it isn't easy but if you want to save your marriage, it's necessary. If you need a counselor to help you through it, then do what you must. But, don't try to make it through until she's an adult, 'tolerating' her because even once she's grown, she is always going to be a part of your life, as long as you are with your husband. Graduations, weddings, grandkids, holidays, funerals, etc.
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des_arc_ya_ya
18 years ago
Well, I would be, too! Hope that things can still work out for you to go.
monica_pa Grieves
18 years ago
So...you can't take your laptop, and be on call?
okwriter
18 years ago
Oh, mimi, that suck STINKS! I wish there was a way around that!

Where DH works, his 'department' has to schedule their vacation in January for the whole year so that no two people are gone at the same time. It goes by seniority--highest rung gets to choose a week, next highest chooses a week, and so on. After the least senior person chooses, they start again with the most senior choosing a week. (IF someone chooses two "consecutive" weeks, it only counts as one turn.)

Anyway, all of these guys have been there a long time, and it's HARD to schedule 5-6 weeks of vacation, especially when you have to do it in January and you can't overlap another person's time off.
deemarie5500
18 years ago
Inferior management process. What happens in the unlikely event that (God forbid), you get sick while Mr. Selfish is on vacation for 20 days?

So sorry about your plans. Sounds like a fun time for you. Hopefully, something will work out.

Dee
mariend
18 years ago
Sorry about your problem. Just call in sick via email! LOL
glenda_al
18 years ago
I'm sorry!
wine50
18 years ago
I certainly don't blame you for being upset. I am amazed that your company would allow anyone to take 20 days straight days vacation. Of course, I guess there are special circmstances that would justify taking that much vacation. Trip to Europe perhaps. In my organization employees are given 20 days a year paid vacation. But, I would surely have to re-examine the value of that employee to my company if I could do without their presence, input, etc. for 20 days....
jannie
18 years ago
That's the best part of being retired-I never have to compete with co-workers for scheduling vacations! We had one woman who took off every Monday in July and August. This screwed up everyone who wanted a week in the summer. The bosses would only allow three people off at a time.
sue_va
18 years ago
Do you like this 20-day guy? Is he approachable? Does he know about your plans? You might talk to him to see if you can work something out with him? Worth a try.

Nothing ventured; nothing gained. Some times it pays to be venturous, and you have nothing to lose if he doesn't cooperate.

Sue
patti43
18 years ago
I was going to say what Sue suggested. Can't hurt to ask.
workoutlady
18 years ago
I'd say approach the guy unless you know that he has plans for sure. I know people that take a whole month off in the summer just because they can. But these same people would at least consider coming in if they had nothing to do. It's worth a shot.
paula_pa
18 years ago
I have to agree with wine50 - if he can leave for an entire month, is he really a necessary employee?

That is just bad policy, to let an employee take off that many days in a row, especially at a popular vacation time, when kids are out of school, and other employees will likely also want time off.
whidbeykathy
18 years ago
Well...when DH was in the Navy, we always went 30 days at a time! (And yes his job was pretty darn important.)Which shows there always needs to be someone to cover that time.

When I worked, vacations were on seniority basis. We had to sign up every January for when we were taking it. DH works for a company that does the same thing.

So are you saying he decided earlier than you when he was going, or are you trying to change your dates now? I wouldn't push the issue at this point, especially if they are laying off senior employees! Kathy

I'm pissed!

Comments (15)

liz

mimi_boo
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I'm pissed!

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mimi_booOriginal Author

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mimi_boo
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