>> I'll try, errrrrrr, I mean, cry if I want to :), Hmmm...did you happen to read the article I wrote for Northwest Hort Society? Btw, the IPS forum DOES have PM options and it's time for you to join! I have a young woman (psych major who recently graduated) who helps me around the house about 3-5 hours a week; weeding, dusting, whatever needs starting so I'll finish it. I asked her today if she could give me a number of days I'd feel like roadkill so I could check them off. She informed me that true depression has no "ups." Well, I still have hearty laughs out loud, half the time through tears, so I guess I'm doing okay. And it is wonderful to be in touch with people who were important to Robert Lee Riffle, because we all have some traits in common. It might take awhile to figure out exactly what they all are, but they're there. I thought I wouldn't be able to bear going to the IPS board again, but he told me about so many of the people that it's like being in a gathering of his friends. And I remember him talking about this board -- he tried to post links to his photos and the former owner/manager thought he was trying to promote his book, so whenever anyone clicked on the link they went to Disneyland! After the first consternation, he thought it was pretty funny. What saves me is that years ago, I got over my biggest fear: that all that tropical plant knowledge in his brain would die with him. When I first held The Tropical Look, I was so happy for everyone who would enjoy it. His greatest fear was that he wouldn't be able to get the palm encyclopedia published. That was a rocky road but it's out there. He would have liked to have revised it, but it's there and 90 percent of the information will be timely for years to come. I'm lucky that my grief is for me and his friends and family because we won't have fresh Riffle-isms, and not because of regrets. There are little things I wish I'd done, but it's not realistic to live every single day trying to tie up every loose end. We do have to have faith that we have a future so we can live part of our lives in our dreams. Btw, Bob's 81-year-old dynamo neighbor took her digital camera over to his house and took some pictures of his palms. I'm going to forward them to Mike Burnett on the IPS board; he'll tidy them up a bit and we can post them. I think he really only started planting a couple years ago. It's good to see most of them still in good shape. I thought about our conversations the other night and realized we talked over 10,000 hours. We knew a lot about each other. Off to the garden. I still have plants in pots that I bought in June! tsk. Here is a link that might be useful: It's My Garden & I'll Try if I Want To, Page 5

Cynthia, thank you for the photo! Gorgeous!!! Meg, don't water too sparingly ... LOL. The roots need moisture to grow. My theory is after the roots have been twirling around the pot for a bit the plant 'decides' that this is as far as they're going to get and begins the blooming process to replicate itself. That may be why a more mature plant will bloom after the flood and drying period as mentioned above. It 'thinks'; "Well, I may die soon so I better use all my energy to bloom and produce seeds." However, the varieties we grow are sterile hybrids and don't make seeds. The article below says not to use saucers under pots. Perhaps saucers might promote rot in 80 to 90 degree climates like some parts of California and Florida, but with our 105 to 110 + degrees in summer they need all the help they can get so I use saucers. The saucers retain a little water and gives the soil time to soak it up. The peat moss in many potting soils become resistant to absorbing water after drying. I even mix extra water retaining crystals in my potting soil. Miracle Gro contains it already, but not enough IMHO. Sometimes if the soil has really dried out I either set the pot in a tub of water to hydrate, or lay a very slow dripping hose in the pot. Plus there are differences in varieties. I notice some begin blooming later/earlier/longer than others, but all the hybrid varieties available in nurseries bloom well. Do keep us posted. Wishing for you the best blooming bougie in the world! ... :-) Here is a link that might be useful: How to water bougies ... mostly about bougies in ground.

callieandkarin, I want to respond first to your Eeeevil Stepparent stereotype. I do not believe that the stepparent is evil in general. Some of the step mothers that I happen to know are among my closest friends that I have known for years. They are all really good people. They are kind, smart, attractive, wonderful women. They are well liked by others. However, when each of these women have remarried, they each married men with children. In every case, I thought that if anyone could pull it off, these women could, because they each genuinely like children to begin with. But in each case, (of the women that I know who have married a man with children) each found it very difficult to like "his" children. Each went on to have new children with their new husband, and somehow things got worse. I am surprised that they cannot bring themselves to like...let alone love, his children, but they do not. Does that make them evil? Of course not. Does it make a wonderful loving environment for a child to grow up in and feel loved and accepted? Sadly, no. Are there legions of stepchildren who are "deeply loved" by their stepparents? I hope so, but I personally do not know any. If there are, please comment on the forum. Are there legions of children who are taken better care of by their step parents than by their bio-parent...absolutely. Because many stepparents have exceptional character and will "step up to the plate" and do the right thing...regardless of how they feel. While the bio-parent may indeed be only self interested, even if their behavior hurts their own children. My response was in response to lee676 saying that "sooner or later he will realize that divorce means parents leaving each other, and NOT parents leaving children". Often parents DO leave children too in a divorce. Most do not exactly mean too. It just "happens". They once lived at home with their children. Divorce happens and they remarry. They now see their own child every weekend or every other weekend, if they live nearby. But you have so many parents (and lets tell it like it is, and say fathers for the most part) who remarry someone, and he ends up seeing his children less and less. For many, many, many children...they only see their own father over summer break, and maybe a holiday or two , because he lives in another state, with his new wife and children. Or perhaps he does not live that far away, but his new wife gets upset when he brings his children to their house, and so the visits are dwindling down to lunch at mcDonalds or something. Yes, there are many that do their best to make the children feel a part of things...but there are many, many who don't...and you cannot pretend that does not happen in divorce. It simply does. Obviously not in every case, but in many, many divorces it does. Sadly. In regards to your comment about Dr. Laura Schlesinger...you have a woman who rubs many people the wrong way...and many times...I disagree with something she has said, or I think that her delivery is rude. However, I disagree with your comment that she is ignorant. She has spent her life talking to people (including children) who need guideance with problems. I believe that she has a unique view from talking to people for the last (I don't know...30 years) that few people have. Whether I agree or disagree with her...I would never call her ignorant. And I respect that she will stand up (alone) on something she believes in, and will NEVER buckle to popular opinion or views, like most people do. They go along with what ever they think will impress others. It takes courage to stand up...alone...and say what people do not want to hear. I respect that because we never see anyone willing to actually do it. And take the heat for what they said, without trying to rephrase it or make excuses or blame. To simply stand up and say that they believe something and not back down to the masses. How many are willing to do that? So ignorant? She is in no way ignorant. Controversial...absolutely.

Thank you. I don't want the house to be gray and cold. I like that it feels warmer, even though I really don't care for any of it. The builder only offered a couple of options. I chose grey over beige walls and didn't like how cold the homes with all grey looked so the builder suggested these warmer options for everything else. None of the floor colors I posted with the cabinets are our options. They're all other brands and colors but it was all I could do with what I had at Lowes. I was hoping it could help me go in a direction - light, dark, warm, cool, brown, grey. I appreciate your insight about the darker floors. I hate our current light tile and really didn't want to get something even close to what is there now. My husband didn't want to pay extra for floors so we got the tile, it was all light. I was actually excited about them redoing the floors so I could get rid of the really light tiles. The light color was the lightest I could find when I was looking. I think a washed oak would look good and would be more timeless than grey. I just don't like light floors. I don't like the counters and if we don't sell, I want to rip them out. I wouldn't do that to try to match a floor. Ideally I'd like to change the counters, backsplash and cabinet colors. I really have my heart set on a pearl backsplash but it won't work with what we have now. Changing the kitchen colors is more for that than to match a floor. I definitely wouldn't change the kitchen for a floor. We bought the house 2 years ago so the builder doesn't have access anymore. No one can take photos in the house as we aren't there and I wouldn't feel comfortable giving a key code and having people in my home. Lowes has samples of our counter, paint, and cabinet colors but nothing that we can take with us to a flooring store. I ordered a sample of our counter but the piece I got was extremely brown and looked nothing like what's in our house. I need to narrow our colors down and order samples that we could take with us to Lowes but we're running out of time. They have to order the vinyl, take everything out of our home, repair the foundation, lay the new floors, and put everything back. They estimate we'll be out of the house 2-3 weeks. At this point, it looks like we'll miss 4th ofJuly and possibly the entire summer. I'm stressed. This needed to be done months ago. :(