I would say which ever way be prepared for a very ugly confrontation and attack on you by them. It will get your blood pressure up and could be very embarrassing if done in public because they will stoop to the lowest of levels that is what bullies do. A bully wants the attention. The target usually ends up in shreds and the bully is rejoicing yet again. I personally knew a woman like this and I watched her on her computer ripping someone to shreds and cackling like a wild witch clapping her hands and laughing. It really opened my eyes to who she was and I immediately distanced myself from her and warned others, however it took them being attacked by her for them to realize the truth. She really had to have something wrong with her to act the way she did at her age. Pure evil does live!
My advice completely ignore them as if they do not exist put them on ignore. Back in the day we used to have an ignore button on chat rooms, I miss those! If they get no attention it is not fun for them so they move on.
I have had several instances of bullies on chats and forums especially when I was the admin on chat rooms. In some cases I removed myself from the site therefore totally rendering the bully null and void could not bully if the target was no longer there. Had to do that recently in fact. Now some will follow you from site to site in those cases you enter the realm of stalking which is quite a bit different than just bullying. That becomes a more serious and can be a legal situation.

Bullies love the confrontation and the fight so any response is exactly what they want just keep that in mind.
Don't feed the trolls and they will go back under the bridge.

I think we all have to be very careful in posting anything, remembering that once it is typed and sent, it could be on the computer and all over forever. I have a couple of friends that do email some very negative political stuff and want me to sign petitions ( I refuse) and send it to all ( I refuse). I just delete, but since they are very nice people, I just go on and get it off my computer. Sad to say, political pictures and sayings are a bit out of hand now days.
My GD went thru bulling in her freshman year. Thank goodness her parents were able to get it stopped and she herself with her sister's help, and another friend gave her the support she needed. It was a lesson well learned.But not all young people have the necessary guidance they need from parents, relatives and other people their own age.
We as older adults (seniors especially) need to be positive toward the younger kids and try to be accepting what they wear, how they color their hair, wear jewelery, remembering they are going thru situations that we as teens never in the wildest imagination would even think to do And they also see things, thru TV and other forms of media that it would take days for us to see and it was on paper, not actually happening.

I watched a forum be completely decimated by a poster acting as a malicious and destructive troll. One of the tactics was to befriend certain long-time members so that those members would be supportive or at least neutral when the troll attacked other members. Even though forum members tried to let the befriended members know they were being used, the befriended members wouldn't stand up to the troll. As a result, most of the regular posters left the forum, never to return. Eventually, the troll stopped posting, but the forum never recovered as trust among the members had been damaged.

I think if you are the target of an online bully, the best thing is to disengage and ignore them. Report the behavior to an administrator, if there is one, to keep it from continuing. If the bully is someone you know in real life, I would document the bullying to ensure that you have ammunition in case the behavior requires legal action at some point.

I've never seen confrontation be successful.

Thanks for your thoughtful replies. I've never seen confrontation work either, public or private. It is sad to witness & doubly so when a bully gets added support. Just reinforces bad behavior. My nature is to defend the downtrodden, so it is difficult to disengage. I remind myself that I can't fix everything.

Years ago, not been on the computer for long and this young gal at this site came to me and said she was being bullied and was so scared and didn't know what to do. I went to a lady that was on same board and said the young gal you signed up for what the board was about, is being bullied and she is scared. Well, we both went on that board and confronted the bully and seemed to work due to the bully didn't do anything more.

But this other lady on another board I went too, she kept going on and on about stuff and everyone replied to this post and I did too and for some reason she went after me big time and followed me around and no matter what I posted she destroyed it in seconds.

I emailed her and told her remember there are people that are behind computer screens.

She took my email to her and twisted it around to make me the bad person and they believed her and on and on it went, went into chat forum on that board only to find the gal that was friends with the board person who ran it but her computer was down then she too turned it all on me.

I find that friday is a huge bad day and it seems like they let it all out after their week and take it on everyone that is in their line of taking it all out.

I agree with the person that says those people make friends with ones that have been on boards for long time and are well liked and they they stand up to the bully as they don't see them like that. It does make it hard and then sides take and war can blow out on the boards.

And you can talk to some board owners but they don't care and won't do one thing about it and what happens is the nice ones leave and they are left with the bullies and horrible people.

I feel there are times to stand up and other times just walk away depending on the situation.

I am happy that I stood up for that young gal and went to the other lady and told her she is being bullied and she stood up and we confronted it full blast on the board for all to see.

They hide and they want too but maybe like in real life you go at them, some back down as they can't take it themselves.

Its like in real life, they get away and no one is telling them they can't do this, you don't go around being cruel and do the things some bullies do to others.

And that lady, she got her jollies doing it, loved destroying people, who knows what their real lives are all about but it doesn't mean they do that to others and get away with it either.

Even situations like going to pick up supper and waiting and waiting and finally I am waiting and showing what I am waiting for and one of them said I put it out. I said I didn't know and its been sitting there getting cold, I see them all looking at me and I stood up and said I want a hot supper as I was taking it home to eat. They sorta ummm, but got me a hot supper. Stand up at times and dont' let them bully you.

Some people don't get it, even when confronted. A recent one happened only a week or so ago. Hard to see it happen, but it is usually worse on you. The sheep that follow are the ones that really get me more than the bully.

One thing that really gets 'em ...

... is to make fun of 'em, if you can do it and not have them win, in the end.

Those who take themselves really seriously ...

... usually can't stand to be made fun of.

ole joyful

I agree with you, OJ, if you think the other person won't go ballistic. Or play dumb...that helps in many sticky situations.