Keesha, I really appreciate your 'starling 101' post above too. Your info about seed/feed types was very good. My feeders contain black oil sunflower, nyger and safflower - no corn or millet - and I was considering getting corn cob squirrel wheels, so it's good to hear they won't attract bad birds. Of course, the racoons and possums are a whole 'nother story! I've been feeding birds for six years now here and never had a starling flock until last week. First there was just one on the suet feeder, next day 21 - at least! - guess the first one was a scout. I took in the suet feeders and all was quiet for two days. Then we got a magical snowfall - 6" of beauty, rare here! - so I put the feeders back out for my regulars (including a couple types of woodpeckers who are such fun to watch!). Well, no joke, within 20 minutes the yard looked like a Hitchcock movie set - I've heard that birds have a highly refined sense of smell, this was proof positive! With snow on the ground, I left the suet feeders up ... starlings were piggy, but pretty well behaved, not beating up the locals whom I didn't want to be deprived. But, they did scoff up the suet at warp speed. Snow is gone now, the suet feeders are empty and I'm going to leave them that way for at least a week, in hopes the starling flock moves on. Here in the South, my suet feeders are only out for a short time - I'm more than a little ticked that this season I have to minimize that time frame ..... because of the darned starlings! :o(

You can trap the offensive hummer. Professionals use simple traps when banding birds. You can trap it and then relocate it a LONG way away. It will be interesting to see how long it takes him to come back. I have had a problem in CA with an aggressive Anna male , but I now have so many hummingbirds in the backyard that he has given up. My recommendation is to plant tons of hummingbird plants in the backyard. Eventually, so many hummers come that one dominant male cannot protect the garden and he will give up. Here is "Maverick" blinking by my feeder! (You knew that they had eyelids, right?!)

Yes, what 'spectrum'? There was nothing 'wrong' with my son. He had no disorders. (I think they have created all these dysfunctions & disorders to make excuses for obnoxious, unruly or bizarre behavior. I believe there are truly disorders, don't get me wrong, but I think parents are too quick sometimes to label their kid with a disorder to explain away bad behavior) When I was growing up, I remember one or two kids (both boys) in grade school that clearly had hyperactivity and had trouble behaving or concentrating in school. They were very disruptive to the class. That's two kids in 7 years of grade school (K-6) and I'm not sure either of them was ever 'diagnosed' with ADD or ADHD, but I think one should have. Fast forward to present day and there are probably several kids in each class in every school that are 'diagnosed' ADD/ADHD or some other 'disorder' and many are on medication. I think it's outrageous when a parent insists on medicating a child because they don't want to be patient and 'parent' the child. My SD's BM tried for almost a year before she moved away to get doctors to diagnose her daughter ADHD and prescribe medication to 'calm her down'. We've had SD with us for almost a year and even before when we had every other week, we never had the behavioral problems so bad that we thought she needed medication. We used behavioral modification techniques and old fashioned consistency and viola, she is 'cured'. I'm not knocking anyone that has a child that is truly ADD/ADHD but I do think it is over diagnosed and it's shameful if a parent chooses to medicate a child that needs nothing more than consistent discipline and patience.

You know, I was a shy, picked on kid. And during college, I made a very concerted effort to come out of my shell. I became skilled at choosing friends who were as sensitive as I was, and at negotiating social interactions with more prickly types, to prevent getting offended. And I learned how to "be" in group situations, without so much self-consciousness. As an adult, with kids whose temperaments and sensitivities are very similar to my own, I see now a clear path toward, not protecting them exactly, but giving them tools to "deal" with all kinds of kids, and how not to be bullied. I have been, if I do say so, very successful in this. I have used some of the strategies mentioned here: get to know the bullies a bit, have a playdate, have them become very good at SOMETHING, to build confidence. And have a few effective things to say to the "bully". I do agree that the word bully is overused. Insensitive is a better word, or actually, unskilled-at-helping-behaviors is even better. What I have observed at school recess is a kid getting made fun of by an insensitive kid (or a nice kid having an insensitive moment), but the kids who stand by and laugh, are not skilled at a more grown up behavior, which is stepping in to ease the discomfort of the laughed-at kid. Many adults can't do this. Some teachers can't do this. It should be modeled and role-played, and taught. And the bullied kid needs to defuse the discomfort somehow. To that end, I see Snidelys point of view, in that, (sadly) there IS something the bullied can learn to do, and it does NOT have to be losing the weight or changing their orientation or identity, but it sure would be helpful to learn some fresh coping strategies. I knew an obese girl in high school who bullied me horribly. It's not always the "differences" that are the problem, tho sometimes it obviously is. And, let the insults fly, I guess, but I find Snidely entertaining, and I don't have to agree with him to respect his point of view, as it helps me tap into what I think. Piling on anyone for their point of view, even if it is despised, isn't giving the helping behaviors that indicate maturity. And I point it out to kiddos all the time in my duties as playground mom.