From you perspective and how I noticed your previous views on issues, I guess this mom is doing a fantastic job. Because, hey, she's getting tons of attention right. LOL....
Like you should be judging this mother, do you even have kids?

What even better ... is when your kids look at you when those kids are acting up... for your reaction.

My SC (now)and BC, always have comments when they see other kids act like that ... they look at me and shake their heads, get wide eyed, and tell me what I would do if they acted like that!!!

They still have their moments but overall they (my SC) have come along way.

No child is a "monster."

"sang SHOO FLY DONT BOTHER ME louder and louder each time she saw any insects (which was most of the time!) So we pretty much had to listen to the screamed version of this song every few minutes for hours!"

"refused to eat pancakes that were made into a specific shape for her because her mom cut them up and they no longer looked like mickey mouse"

These in particular are similar to behaviors I have seen in children on the spectrum.

As I was reading the story.. I thought "she must have been camping with TOS, but just didn't know it was TOS". and then I scroll down and see what TOS has to say and can't help but get my daily laugh...

I can totally relate because my oldest son was one of these "monsters". I remember one occasion that we were visiting my dad and stepmom and he threw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming/crying because we served him on a dinner plate that did not match the others. That was his personality. No way did I 'cater' to it. I told him if he was hungry, to eat and if he didn't eat he was going to be hungry. He eventually ate but he would have these tantrums and it was almost unbearable sometimes. I know people must have avoided us when he acted that way and I think the mother that catered to her 'monster' is going to be sorry for it later. I had to leave birthday parties (or at least take my son out) because when they sang 'Happy Birthday' and then got to the birthday boy/girl's name, if it wasn't his name, he'd have a tantrum. If he played a game and got 'out', he'd have a tantrum. He eventually outgrew it and I could never understand why he acted that way. He did this between 2-6 years old. My other kids never acted like that and I couldn't associate it with anything other than it was just part of his personality. I'm sure it would have been worse if he had been 'accommodated'.

TIWANNA1

"From you perspective and how I noticed your previous views on issues, I guess this mom is doing a fantastic job. Because, hey, she's getting tons of attention right. LOL....
Like you should be judging this mother, do you even have kids?"

Well my perspective is that you should not allow your husband to ignore your children (his steps) anytime they deserve praise and then feel the need to jump down their throats every time he can. There are times when children need to be redirected or disciplined, this mother did nothing but encourage the poor behavior by letting it continue and coddling it. Much different than your situation, where your husband is allowed to emotionally abuse your children because he pays the bills!

And yes I do have children! I have one biochild (who my husband treats as well as he treats his own children-because I would have never married a man who didn't do that!). And I have three wonderful stepchildren who live with us full-time and rarely see their mother (her choice! not ours).

When your a parent you need to sacrafice for your kids tiwanna. So if that means passing up some guy who is rich because he would make a poor stepfather, well than you have to do that. Money in no way makes up for emotional support!

"These in particular are similar to behaviors I have seen in children on the spectrum. "

That thought occured to me as well, TOS.
Of course, a parent who ignores poor behavior that is within a child's ability to control will get the same kinds of results.

Sounds like a difficult time OP, and I hope that's not representative of the poor mom's parenting skills or else they'll all be in big trouble some day.

I am aware that children with other issues going on can show these same behaviors.

But in this case I think it was the lack of parenting on the moms part. Everything her daughter wants her daughter gets. And while she will not reprimand her daughter she has no problem raising her voice to children or adults who are not catering to her child.

Even my kids wanted to stay away from the girl because they found her to be annoying. And usually my stepdaughters are drawn to little girls, but not this one. All my kids gave me the "oh my goodness" look at some of this girls behaviors and then they stared at the mom to see what she was going to do about the behaviors. Later they made comments to me and dh about how awful the pair of them were (mom and daughter!)

Gah! My boys have had their share of tantrum phases but never that much in one setting! (lol side note: DH loves to call me Dr. No)

I wonder with alot of the behaviors this child is showing if the mom is really guilty of not wanting her child to grow up rather than lack of discipline. She seems really over babied and I know some parents can enable that rather than encourage self reliance.

we had a party for my father's birthday yesterday and some of my parents' friends brought their grandchildren with them. Everyone behaved so nicely and kids had fun and adults had their fun.

My niece (my brother's son) behaved rather atrociously (and no she is not on a spectrum), she is very spoiled and it is kind of OK when no one else is there, but it was embrassing for all of us. She argued, and cried, and refused to be friendly, and refused to talk to people, and was obnoxious with a little 2-year-old etc. And neither my brother nor SIL said nothing... When anyone else tried to say nything she ran to her mom. My niece is 6 and this is her typical behavior.

She does not have disabilities but behavior you described is exactly like hers. Needless to say that my nephew was raised the same way (he cannot be wrong in anything, he cannot be told "no") and now he does not even talk to his mother and has some other issues going on. You cannot buy love by being an enabler. Kids grow up and understand what was done to their upbringing was wrong. Kids are not stupid, they get it pretty quickly.

Actually my nephew is worse. He dragged a 1 1/2 year old across the dancefloor at my wedding. I've seen worse. Trust me
But yes, i agree with you the girl is bratty, whiney and her mother is to blame for encouraging this little girl to be this way. Her mother is the loser. not the girl. She doens't know any better. And yes it annoying to have a child like this around and the best thing ot do in the future is to avoid this parent and her child all together.
I hope mom wakes up soon and stop enabling her child to be this way. Cause pretty soon, adults will avoid her too just to have piece of mind!
You are on a camping trip. This wasnt' relaxing...its stressful!
My own son was acting up yesterdya.. guess the terrible twos are setting in. Well for whatever reason who just blew a gasket , threw himself on the ground after i opened the tv to set him movie so he can have breakfast this morning...well. I put his cereal back in the kitchen , and told him to go to bed. I placed himthere 3 times. when he came to me calmly , i asked, ' are you finished, now lets go watch a movie and have breakfast'.
You have to teach them from young that you will not cater them when they want and how they want. ITS HOW I WANT IT. AS a parent. NOT THEM.
Sucks that you had to hear all that screaming at camp. Book a different camp groudn next time or go fishing out on a lake Away from any loud disturbances.

What stood out to me is "1. refused to eat pancakes that were made into a specific shape for her because her mom cut them up and they no longer looked like mickey mouse"

Like I said, my son "threw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming/crying because we served him on a dinner plate that did not match the others."

I find that very bizarre behavior... something I have never been able to understand and if anyone has thoughts on that, i'd appreciate it. He outgrew those fits but it still baffles me.

That rigidity is not uncommon, not just among kids on the spectrum but also among other children, especially those with various forms of tactile or other oversensitivities. I had a child who, until the age of three or so, had to do things in the order in which they were initially stated - if you said you were going to the store and to the cleaners, it had to be done in that order or a tantrum ensued. Only wooden chairs, not plastic, would do. I picked my battles and did accommodate my child as much as reasonably possible, and the tantrums were outgrown after a year or so.

For whatever reason, the plastic chairs, the unmatched dinner plates, and the pancakes that don't look like Mickey REALLY bother them, just as much as wearing a hair shirt would bother us.

Ok I am stupid what is this "spectrum" you keep refering to ....

SRD and autism are two totally different things ... had the mom in mom2's camping trip said sorry my daughter is on the "spectrum" mom2 probably could have overlooked most of the behaviors but mom gave no reason for the outburts just catered to her kid at the expense of every one else at the campground.

SRD= spoiled rotten daughter

The autism spectrum is probably what TOS meant by spectrum.

True, SRD and autism are two different things -- but to a person not intimately familiar with autism, they can look a lot a like. Enough alike to easily fool a casual observer, and often enough to fool the average teacher or even (sadly) pediatrician.

Yes, what 'spectrum'?

There was nothing 'wrong' with my son. He had no disorders. (I think they have created all these dysfunctions & disorders to make excuses for obnoxious, unruly or bizarre behavior. I believe there are truly disorders, don't get me wrong, but I think parents are too quick sometimes to label their kid with a disorder to explain away bad behavior)

When I was growing up, I remember one or two kids (both boys) in grade school that clearly had hyperactivity and had trouble behaving or concentrating in school. They were very disruptive to the class. That's two kids in 7 years of grade school (K-6) and I'm not sure either of them was ever 'diagnosed' with ADD or ADHD, but I think one should have. Fast forward to present day and there are probably several kids in each class in every school that are 'diagnosed' ADD/ADHD or some other 'disorder' and many are on medication. I think it's outrageous when a parent insists on medicating a child because they don't want to be patient and 'parent' the child. My SD's BM tried for almost a year before she moved away to get doctors to diagnose her daughter ADHD and prescribe medication to 'calm her down'. We've had SD with us for almost a year and even before when we had every other week, we never had the behavioral problems so bad that we thought she needed medication. We used behavioral modification techniques and old fashioned consistency and viola, she is 'cured'. I'm not knocking anyone that has a child that is truly ADD/ADHD but I do think it is over diagnosed and it's shameful if a parent chooses to medicate a child that needs nothing more than consistent discipline and patience.

Sieryn - Too funny! Since I transferred to my PhD program, FDH calls me Dr. No too!!

Yes, I was referring the autism spectrum.

Perhaps the mother did not wish to share her child's diagnosis with people she did not know well.

I was talking to a friend of mine whose child has PDD (which is on the spectrum), and she was recounting her temper tantrums when she went into a store, etc. It occurred to me that everything her daughter had done was something my kids had done too - just not all the same child or all on the same day!

of course there are all kind of disabilities and maybe that child in OP's story was the one, we don't know.

But I know my niece has no disabilities, she is just raised like she can do no wrong. They raised my nephew the same way, My SIL excuses every poor behavior, she does not know how to be a parent same with my brother.

Every kid can be difficult once in a while, DD gave me grief periodically. But not all the time.

So I think we can agree that some parents just enable their kids and then they wonder why they grow up to be either rotten adults or grow up don't want to do anything wiht their parents like my nephew.

Kids don't need enabling, they need guidance. Letting kids behave obnoxiously is not a guidance. It is poor parenting.