My brother was a marine but his situation was rather unique. He was drafted during the Vietnam war and when he reported for duty he was expecting to be shipped to the Army base at Fort Dix, NJ. A Marine Corps officer called out 8 names and informed them they were going to Paris Island. They were selected because they had scored the highest grades on the aptitude test and most were college graduates. It was apparently the first time the Marines had failed to met their recruiting quota and had to draft.

He knew the Marine Corps reputation. He was not happy. He survived a basic training that he described at merciless. Advanced Infantry training was slightly better. He completed all aspects of training and earned sharp shooter medals. He lucked out when the assignments were issued. Before he was drafted he was a management trainee for a major supermarket. The Marines assigned him to the the PX in Paris Island and then he was in charge of the PX in Kaneohe Bay in Hawaii where he spent the rest of his military time.

When he came home he immediately sold his uniform and medals at my Mom's garage sale. He couldn't wait to rid himself of anything military and get on with his life. He marveled at the military machine, the gung ho recruits who lied about their age in order to enlist, the harshness of the Drill Sergeants, the brutality of the other trainees who would bully, harass and even beat any other trainee who was unable to complete the daily routine.

My brother would say that the Marine Corps didn't change him and I would agree. There's a world of difference between being drafted during a war and having the ability to choose to serve. I hope the Marine Corps and the military as a whole have changed since the Vietnam War days. Military service can be a wonderful choice for many men and women. I have two nephews who are in the Navy and several friends of my children have enlisted in the Armed Forces, one just left the Navy after 10 years serving as a Seal.

Dean was in the Marines. He says it was tough, but he loved it.

Change in what manner? Maturity? Personality? Aggressiveness? My uncle was a Marine. He was pretty stern/strick with his kids, but so was my dad. They were brothers and I feel it was a hang over from their child hood. Thankfully my dad left our discipline to mom.
If you have a gut feeling about someone, turn and run. Experience speaking here.
Leslie

I have an uncle and two cousins.My uncle served in nam and said the Core taught him to grow up in a hurry. He still has drinks occasionally with his marine buddys from those days. Semper Fi! My cousins are currently serving and love it. One will probly be a career man.

DH was a Vietnam-era Marine. He was to be drafted, so he enlisted in the Marine Corps. He went through Paris Island, which he says were the toughest months of his life. Yes, it changed him. It made him more responsible and mature. He is proud to have worn the Marine uniform.

My cousin is a retired Marine colonel, having served 30+ years (including a tour in Vietnam). One uncle was a Marine in WWII, was captured and on the Death March. Another uncle was a Marine, sent in to clean up after the bombs were dropped in Japan.

My father was an officer in the Marine Corps. Active before and during WWII, and in the reserves for another 10 years after that.
I remember him going off to Parris Island for camp when I was in grade school.

He was a man of unusual integrity, and insisted on the same for us. Not rigid, not stern, he simply taught us to do what has to be done, and never, never be late or, God forbid, not show up when expected.

My previous husband was career Marine. He loved it. He was the epitome of the Marine...There is a real esprit de corp among most Marines. I still have some of his medals and all of his papers.

"There is a real esprit de corp among most Marines." Yes, I agree, Ruthie.

The Marine friends I've met over the years, young or old, inspire me. And I've never been a fan of the military..no disrespect intended.

It was just a few years ago, I learned my November 10th birthday is the Marine Corps' birthday also. It was a very special birthday when I found out..was with friends when a young group of Marines came in the pub and shared this fact with me..we celebrated together. :)

My Marine grandson is on his way back to Iraq..second tour..oh dear. :(

Nicki,
My niece leaves June 5th for the Marines.She graduates from High School on May 22,than leaves.Her brother is in the Army also.She wants to be a baby dr.She is a very smart child.She is a straight "A" student.We are so proud of her.We shall see how it effects her.I just hope she does not get homesick.

My husband joined the Marines during Viett Nam Era. My two
brothers were also Marines during the Korean Era.

My husband was in the Marines too. He joined in the 60s. He was in boot camp at Paris Island. He is still very proud to have been a marine!

I have a cousin that I rarely get to see who enlisted in the Marines. He served during the Gulf War. Did it change him? I don't think the Marines per say changed him. I think it was his experiences during the War that changed him. I saw him three years ago, and he wouldn't let me look at him, would only stand behind me with his arm around me at his grandfather's (my uncle) funeral. At his grandmothers a year later, he seemed to be back to his old self. I think he got some help working thru the mental/emotional aspect of what he had seen and done, and it helped tremendously. I don't know what he went thru, other than he had to handle the body bags, which I know was very hard on him. He wouldn't even keep a fish he caught as a child. I am not sure why he enlisted. He is proud of the Marines tho. He still serves in the Reserves. Lives in Arkansas.

Tami

Nikki, there is a lot more to your concern than can be answered by your question.

Please get your concerns taken care of by a professional.

You know we all love you and want the best for you.

Sue

My husband enlisted in the Marines in the Vietnam era. He did basic training at Parris Island.

He now says joining the Marines was one of the best things he ever did.

And you are right about the camaraderie among Marines. No matter how old they are or how young, they always friendly to each other.

My DH is a retired Marine,he joined on his 17th birthday,and did 3 tours of viet nam.He is glad he did that,because as he says the enviroment he was growing up in,and his mom not being there for her kids and being poor all made him make the decision to join,He says he's never been sorry a day that he made that decision.
He served 21 years,and was gone a lot from home but we adjusted,i stayed home with the 4 kids,and when ever he got orders to go somewhere that we couldn't go,i and the kids just stayed put until he got back home.We never moved back home to be with our families as so many did.We are proud to say we made it on our own.Was it hard??? You betcha,but we survived the hard times and it made us all more responsible.

We fly our marine flag every day along with the American flag and dh wears a retired marine corp hat most of the time.We retired right outside of camp pendleton.

Just remember there are both good and not so good marines,so make sure you do your homework.Being a marine doesn't make someone perfect,they're like everyone else,and human!!!
Kathi

Oldest son was a Marine, they taught him how to quietly kill someone, and drink. Great training for the future.

A correction.I talked to my sister and my niece[her daughter] is going into the air force.I know the air force has something to do with flying if I am correct.But want does the Marine's have to do with?are they on land?I think the army is on land,The Navy is in the ocean,right?Can some one help me figure these out?Thanks

My grandfather was a career Marine and I've never been more proud to know any other man. He was amazing and taught me so much about patriotism and pride. My Dh is an ex Marine also, he and my grandfather both are/were exactly as Monica described. My father spent four years active Navy and almost 30 years in the Navy reserves. He is a very quiet man, a great man but nothing like my grandfather.

I grew up right next to a Naval Weapons Station, my town was saturated with Sailors and Marines. I had MANY friends in the service and many friends whose fathers were in the service. I saw the military change a lot of guys. Many of them did not cope well with the controlled, regimented lifestyle. Some got VERY home sick. Many of them became alcoholics, almost all of them smoked. I also saw the military make boys into absolutely amazing men. I'm still friends with a number of the guys from the base (and their wives). Some stayed in and made it a career, some went to college after. Two are police officers, one is making a fortune selling insurance, and one is struggling still with alcohol addiction. All but one are married with kids and and doing well.

I taught a foreign language to the military, all branches, for 14 years on a military base, and worked with Marines every day, as well as having some for very close friends. They were, by and large, outstanding people, proud, motivated, and can-do. There are good and bad people in every profession, although being a Marine is not so much a profession as it is a permanent way of life.

Catlady - Although the Marines are, strictly speaking, a part of the Navy (and they often deploy on Navy ships), they serve anywhere, and nowadays it's primarily on land, in Iraq and Afghanistan. They are trained to serve in any conditions and can be shipped in or flown in to whatever is the destination.

There are not nearly as many smokers in today's military, since virtually all indoor places, including barracks, don't allow smoking. And smoking is forbidden in the Air Force in general, IIRC. Alcoholism can be a problem, but the Army takes this very seriously. If one of my students got a DUI, he was dropped in rank and took a pay cut, as well as having counseling. Three or four DUIs and he was out of the service.

I know many many many Marine Corps veterans, including two Medal of Honor winners, one from World War II, one from Korea.

I also know many Marines, live with one.
a soldiers answer to the same question:
"What branch did you serve?
"I was in the Army" "I was in the Navy"
"I AM A MARINE"

Once a Marine, always a Marine" Semper Fi.

And yes, it changes them, some for better, some not. I think it depends on their experiences. I have learned not to ask questions. The information and stories come at random. Mine has seen and carried out more acts than most will ever know. Vietnam, Iraq, Pakistan, Bosnia: lots of things the public will never hear about.
Our freedom comes at a high cost for some.
I tell him all the time how proud I am of him.

One nephew, two nephews "in law" - I think that the marine corp itself doesn't change a person, I think a person reacts to life events and, thus, responds in their own personality way.

I suspect a certain type of person joins the Marine Corp, just as other types become nurses. They might be great at it because this is something that appeals to their make up or terrible at it because it's how they perceive themselves to be but simply aren't - a kind of "personality wish." I believe that this applies particularly to the Marine corp - it's a very different branch of service and requires a different type of person to be successful as a Marine for the enlistment time they serve.

All military people are to be thanked for their contribution, I personally believe. Though I might not necessarily agree with the mission required of them, I do always support those who serve our country. I come from a very, very long line of career military, including my father and husband.

I think what any career makes out of a person is determined by that person and his/her own baggage...........Good and bad...it's not that job that does that to a person but what they bring to it.

I agree with ruthieg_tx for the most part. A person's own traits can be reinforced or reduced by training received. However, we also know you can turn a sweet puppy into a killer.

Have you read Pat Conroy's books, based on his Marine father? "The Great Santini" and "Prince of Tides".

Different people react differently to every kind of training. Military training for Marines (and Seals) is extreme. One of the reasons the Bush administration gave for OK-ing tortures used at Guantanamo was that, "We use them on some of our own recruits." To me, that is chilling.

"To me, that is chilling."

It's called survival training, and it's been done for decades. It teaches them to deal with the wilderness and, God forbid, capture. Perhaps you've never talked to people who've just gone through it. I'm not talking about watching or reading reports about it. I'm talking about being with these men and women at a gathering where they casually exchange experiences. Very revealing.

And it's SEALs.

Too bad this thread went political.

sable_ca -- Thanks for catching my error re: SEALS. (I *knew* that, I knew that! LOL)

I didn't mean my comment about using torture to train recruits to be policital. I feel the same regardless of which 'party' OKs tortures prohibited by the Geneva Convention. It DE-humanizes people.

Did you mean to say that after practicing or undergoing torture people chat about it -- to 'normalize' it?

What I meant was that our people who go through waterboarding and/or isolation, e.g., as part of survival training, talk about it among themselves afterwards, and with other people whom they trust. They do not refer to it as torture, they refer to it as training for which they have volunteered. And just as athletes in training discuss that, or women with new babies share with each other, so do military people talk about every aspect of their experiences.

IMO further comments about this specific subject belong on the Hot Topics Forum, not on the KT.

My first boyfriend, and I guess first love, was in the Corp. I was still in HS at the time - he had graduated the year before, so that was quite a while ago. But, I remember the pride he had, being a Marine. That must have passed to me because I wanted to join. Everyone told me that I was crazy because women did not belong in the Corp at the time, and encouraged me to join the AF instead. I never did though. I have to say that my friend was not the best "kid" before going into the Military, but he truly grew up while there. But I think it was the Marine Corp that did it. They are truly a special group - there is a bond that is almost unspeakable. My friend went to Nam, and it was a different Corp then, then now. But, out of all the branches of the Military, I think there is something about a Marine in dress blues that you don't find anywhere else. I had several family and friends in different Branches, including my Dad who was in the AF, and a family friend that was career Army and the first minority General in his rank (don't remember which, but it was in Life magazine). But seeing my friend after having spent time in the Corp, I know there is a difference, and he was different too. He had some fears but the Corp's principles gave him a sense of pride and mystery that you kinda never could crack. Even still, he never brought it home; I just knew it was there, if you will.

gneegirl.. I didn't know him BEFORE he was a Marine.. but I feel the same thing that you said .. He is a wonderful person and he rocks as a Dad for his little ones. Thanks to you all for the responses... it's good to get different opinions. And, I truly believe that it depends on the person and how they handle it.... and I think that he handled it very, very, well.