Another Wedding Gift Question...

16 years ago

Background info....

My brother and a schoolmate have been friends for 25 years. The schoolmate's son is getting married this June. The son, his girlfriend and two kids live in the same town as I do. We all used to live in the same town as my brother and his schoolmate. My daughter and I would see the schoolmate and son, girlfriend etc at special occasions where my brother and I were invited. Still see them occasionally if my brother and the schoolmate are in town and there's a dinner or something - we (the son, girlfriend, my daughter and I) don't socialize otherwise - they are in their 20's, I'm in my 40's.

The son and girlfriend have asked if my brother might bring me as his guest to the wedding in order to keep costs down (not sure how except that's one less invite to mail) - I said yes I will be his guest.

As said guest, am I expected to buy them a gift?

Don't mean to sound cheap (although I am, lol), just wondering what the correct thing to do here is...

Suzan J

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Comments (7)

carla35
16 years ago
Not really sure what the "right" thing is, but I'd probably go in on a gift with your brother. You guys decide on the financial split amoung yourselves.

It sounds to me like they were planning on inviting both of you separately along with your "and guests" so it possibly cut down on two unknown guests for them.
kayjones
16 years ago
If it were me, I'd buy them a nice salad bowl from Pier One or Pottery Barn - nothing expensive, but everyone can use a 'crystal' salad bowl.
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FlamingO in AR
16 years ago
I agree with Carla- since you're going "as a couple", I think sharing a gift is perfect. They should understand as they're into "keeping the costs down"! lol
colleenoz
16 years ago
Well, that's just wierd. There is no obligation to invite an "and guest". You simply invite the people you want to invite and if you don't want them showing up with strangers you don't put "and guest". The happy couple should have given you and your brother separate, personal invitations (and then perhaps gotten two gifts). But since they've chosen this route, go ahead and go halves with your brother on one gift.
jannie
16 years ago
Never feel obligated to give a gift. Send a nice card or split with your brother. Just MHO.
bunglogrl
16 years ago
I keep a few simple picture frames on hand for this and similar situations. They cost less than $10, are lightweight thus cheap to mail, and everybody can use a cute frame at some point. The perfect gift for weddings, baby showers, birthdays, retirement dinners or any occasion where I don't really know the person but a gift would be polite. I'd mail 'em a frame with a nice note before the wedding - and then go and enjoy the festivities. Or, I might even skip the wedding and let my brother take a real date instead.
sjarz
Original Author
16 years ago
Thanks for the opinions, everyone. I may end up making them a light up glass block or some other handmade item, we'll see - talked to the brother this morning and he said in his opinion it wouldn't be necessary for me to bring a gift - but I might feel like el cheapo if I arrive empty handed.
Suzan J

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