This lamp was given to my grandmother from my grandfather who won it for her at a fair. The shaving mugs are and razor are from another grandfather. These items mean a lot to me and are fragile and irreplaceable. But, what good are they packed away in a box somewhere. Seeing them everyday gives me joy. Yes, I would be sad and upset if anything were to happen to them, but put away in a box they would just be something forgotten. I prefer to display my precious items so that I and others can enjoy them.

Interesting thread. I understand what you are saying because I used to struggle with it. By storing the items I always feel like I am not honoring and enjoying the items in the spirit and intent that they were handed down to me. They become an artifact and don't bring warmth to my thoughts. Instead I like my sentimental/irreplaceable items in view. They bring a smile and give me home a sense of history.

The person that I am reminded of is more important than the actual item. So by storing it I feel like I am honoring the item and not the person. Know what I mean?

I supposed it depends on what it is. Some things would deteriorate rapidly if they were left out. Actually there are some things I Like having in a box and taking it out and looking at it. Thats probably odd. Other things, I agree, are meant to be seen and even used.

I understand too. But I have my precious things where I can see them, and use them. If they break, they break. Better to have loved (and used) and lost, than never to have loved (and used) at all.

My mother would agree, I think.

Here's a nice story. I inherited some very pretty glasses from my mother. Nothing super fine, cornflower type stuff, irreplacable because they were hers. My little boy, who is learning to set the table and feels very important doing it, broke one of the glasses while setting it on the table. Sure, maybe I shouldn't have allowed him to touch them. And yes I was upset. He was even MORE upset because he knew what they meant to me. I put on a brave front because I felt really bad for him. The dinner guest that night, was a dear friend. Who noticed the glass only because it was broken, she's just not into this kind of stuff. Which would explain why she had two boxes of the same crystal, inherited from her grandmother, in her attic. She couldn't bring herself to sell it, or give it away to a stranger. But she gave it all to me. ALL of it. How wonderful is that? So now I have what is left of my mother's glasses, and I have one of my best friend's grandmother's glasses too. A whole separate sentimentally precious thing. And yes, I use those too, and yes my son still sets the table, carefully.

I'm a believer in using things. They are just 'things'.

I don't have much that is irreplaceable, but the few things I do have I display. I have a set of antique silver and crystal desert goblets that were my great aunts. She received them as a wedding present in the early 1900s. They are the most fragile and irreplaceable thing I own. I have them on my china hutch.

I, too believe in using things or displaying them, other than storing them away. I have an ancient flow blue pottery collection that I inherited from my mother and grandmother, with pieces that I've added to it, that is not only on display, but also used for meal serving on a regular basis. The old fashioned shallow soup plates are perfect for one meal dishes like spaghetti or stew, and we enjoy seeing these colorful dishes in use when dining. If they were carefully packed away, I know that we'd easily forget about them.

Naturally, there are some irreplaceable items that aren't suitable for display, that may have historical or sentimental value that have meaning for a particular person or family...those are stored carefully to conserve their history and protect them, (like old photos, linens, Civil War, WWI&II mementos). Yet, if they can be used, or displayed appropriately, we enjoy seeing them every day.

Everything is out and used. My Grandmother's china is a set of 12 , missing one piece. She used it every Sunday in the 1950's. I use it quite often and wash each piece by hand just as she did...I can hear her say " don't stack the hot plates, they'll crack". When we use the dishes I always hear one of the kids tell one of the others..."don't stack..." a legacy that I treasure. I believe in using everything and having it out where I can touch and enjoy and remember and tell the stories to others. c

I display. I've had some beautiful items broken, but I enjoyed them and loved them when I had them out.
I rarely sit down to look through old boxes of stuff, so my precious things are out in the open.
There is even a large basket in the living room with about a dozen photo albums, pictures of the kids when they were small. Occasionally when the kids are here we will look through them, and they bring a lot of memories that might not be stirred and enjoyed if they were hidden away.

I use it all or display it all. Some things I own might be expensive and/or a pain to replace (with the exception of my grandfather's WWI stuff) but it could be done. I'm not big on the sentiment of association--if I break a piece of Granny's china, I can talk myself into believing the replacement piece is original. I'm big on the spirit, not the letter of that law.

I would display them and enjoy them. When I get too materialistic about things I think about people who have lost their entire homes in hurricanes/floods/fires. They have lost all family photos and precious possessions - Wodka on this forum's story about losing her entire home in Katrina keeps me grounded that things can be lost at any time for any reason - accidents or natural disasters or just simply dropping them. I'd enjoy those things and if one or two get broken, you've enjoyed them and things happen in life.

Sometimes I look around my house at the things I love and wonder what will happen to them when I'm gone! I have three boys and three nephews, so no female family members that would appreciate pretty things! Perhaps a future DIL or niece or grandchild will want them some day, but there's no guarantees so they could end up at a consignment shop one day or sold off at a garage sale!

Oh, no! I'm so sorry about your beloved clock. I know that "Mr. Uxorial" must've felt terrible about the accident!

I too like to keep my treasured items out where I can see them, but most of the breakables that can be displayed in such manner are behind glass, either in my china cabinet or in the display case in my living room. A house full of wild hyenas that sometimes masquerade as cats pretty much forces me to enjoy my most fragile pieces from a distance, instead of putting them out on tables or on the mantle where they'd be viewable and touchable.

as far as I'm concerned the only irreplacable items are people and pets.

and even sometimes when they are broken or killed..it can't be helped..and must be forgiven.

My son was travelling in a blizzard to pick up a little girl from a babysitter..when a car stopped right in front of him and didn't move..he hit the brakes but the woman driving died of a heart attack..she left 4 children..and was divorced.

That taught me a lesson ..while for months after my son spent his time in jail (he pled no contest cause he had chosen to continue to drive...100 miles from anywhere, in the snow, cause he felt the need to pick up the baby..)

anyway for all those months..nearly a year..he was suicidal..blaming himself for her death..although it was NOT his fault..she stopped in front of his car and had a heart attack..

however..it taught me..my child is priceless...things are not..we USE things..and forgive people

Ronbre, Amen --you have it right.

The only truly irreplaceable item I have is sitting next to me on the couch eating supper. Well, and the fourfooted one shedding on the rug, too. Everything else is just "stuff", to be used or displayed, not hidden away "to keep it safe", at which time it simply becomes closet- or attic-filler. Most of my accessories (antique copperware, some old molded glass birds and fruit my grandmother gave me, etc.) are packed away simply for lack of anywhere to put it out - I am thinking about maybe putting a shelf up about a foot below the ceiling all the way around the living room - but I'll probably get rid of a great deal of it because if it's been out of sight and out of mind for 2.5+ years and I haven't missed it, I don't need it. I have some antique furniture, but it's all used rather than coddled and fussed-over - none of it's valuable, and it's all pretty beaten-up to start with. :-) Maybe I would have a different attitude if I had expensive, rare items that had some kind of historical or monetary value, but I don't and I highly doubt I ever will!

My family is mighty short on heirlooms, but to be honest as a general rule we're just not terribly sentimental people. The only things I even wanted to have from my late father was his Masonic regalia, but the stepmonster would not turn any of his possessions over to me after his death even though I was the legal heir per his will. It's not truly heartbreaking that I don't have them, and not worth hiring a lawyer and hunting down the stepmonster (who has moved away to goodness-knows-where), but my DH has expressed interest in joining a Lodge someday and it would have been nice for him to have those things as a legacy since Dad would have sponsored him to his Lodge in a split second. I probably would have made a shadowbox for displaying them until they were needed for use.

I have no children to pass anything on to, not that I would burden them with things they would think they had to keep just because I owned something, especially if they didn't like it on its own merits. I'd rather my things went to a charity sale, an estate auction, etc. so that people who actually wanted the things could obtain and enjoy them.

I am sorry your clock got broken but I am glad you enjoyed it for how ever long it lasted. I think better to have enjoyed it than find it broken, cracked or not working in a box in some storage place.

Sigh, some powerful moving stories here. I agree, some things are just things. I had all my treasures out and around me to enjoy everyday, until our earthquake in 1989, and that pushed me to pack everything up and tuck them safely away. As time has passed, I've felt more and more motivated to pass things on to the next generation. Funny tho, the more I give the more I want to give, and with each seperation, the free-er and less worried I feel. My things are just things, but the treasured family heirlooms I do think of as my responsibility to give forward with as much thought and care as I possibly can. I have been photographing and writing about each before giving and how remarkable to be in a position to see the joy and excitement in the next generation, just as I felt when they were handed to me!

I agree, display and use the items. I love having those *special* items where I see and use them. Yesterday, for Easter dinner, I used some of my antique depression glasses and other pieces.

Like Aunt Jenn, I do have pieces that are kept in my china cabinet unless they are actually in use - they are a bit safer in there and can still be seen.

One of my most delicate items is a blown glass bell, very, very fragile that is etched with our wedding date. It was a special gift on our first Christmas married. I make sure that bell is wrapped up each year when stored, but it always has a place of honor on the tree. I would be sad if it were to break, but I would also have all these Christmases (27 so far LOL) that we have enjoyed it.

tina

Welll, when we finally unpack everything I intend to display it! Only about 6 years now...and about 4 of remodel...but the *principle* is to display/use it.

Although I have *some* stuff from my family I don't treasure at all -- it's actually the more valuable stuff, not the sentimental things I took because they mean so much -- I'm stuck feeling too guilty to get rid of it, although as time passes, I'm guessing more and more that they'd say for Pete's sake, sell it and get something that's your taste! Those are in storage, because I just don't love them that much.

but back to your story, uxorial: I can almost picture it happening--I call those moments "proof of the inescapable linearity of time". A question: could you make its brokenness part of its narrative now? Are all the pieces reassemblable to be glued back together, and maybe be an art piece that shows you that you thought so much of it that you displayed it and it fell prey to the vicissitudes of life? I like that idea...like it's part of the thing's life cycle.

(side notes: pirula, that's way too cool...like O'Henry in reverse :) and ronbre--I sit scratching my head as to why your son had to serve a *jail sentence* for running into someone accidentally during a snowstorm...I'm baffled. Your story is quite powerful on many levels.)

Uxorial, since it broke, would you concider mosaic a plak of the pieces to continue it's appreciated life? Bet the artist that contributed to the Steve Irwin mosaic would have some ideas to make a meaningful work of art from the pieces? Hope you haven't already thrown it out.

I have several "special" things that can't be replaced in their exact form. Some quite valuable some not so much :) The not so much stuff is as precious if not more so than the valuable goober.

I use it all. I never tell anyone what it is if it's intimidating heh heh Cuz honestly it's just stuff :) My friends and family...they're ireplacable, but the stuff...neh it's just stuff :)

I had a friend over to dinner with a group of people once who loved my water goblets. I told her they were antique venetian (because she asked about how to find them) and left it at that. I have a big collection so it's hard not to at least say that much :) i love the stuff.

A couple of days she called in sheer horror...she'd been online trying to find some because she really liked them and found out just how "special" they are LOL She said "I drank water out of those!" I laughed and said I hoped it was good water. I didn't pay much for them, even though it turns out they're quite valuable, but for me, their greatest value is how pretty they are with a sparkling table and fresh clear water in them :) If they break, they break. Such is the life of glass! But I'd never want to have that dear friend break. She's worth far much more than that silly glass.

I display irreplaceable items because if I don't, who will?

The memories that make things special to me, like my Grandma's candy dish, came from seeing those things in use in my relatives' homes. I don't remember what they had in the china cabinet; I remember waiting anxiously for Grandma to offer us a piece of candy from the cut glass covered dish on her coffee table, anxiously and not as patiently as my parents would have wished.

In order to create memories for the next generation, I still use these things. And tell the little kids the stories behind them. So that if these things survive, they will be passed down to others who know the history of them.

Which doesn't mean that the rest of my family agrees with me. Well, they do expect the candy dish to be full at all times. But I've heard more than once, "But you're using this?! Wouldn't it be safer in the china cabinet?" Probably it would be safer. But then I couldn't use it.

There's a very good short story by Alice Walker that centers on this very dilemma, use or display. "Everyday Use" has two sisters, both who want the same quilts that their aunt made. One plans to use them, because when they are used up and in tatters, she can make some more, having learned from her aunt. The other sister, who doesn't know how to quilt, wants to save the quilts from her sister and put them on display, as a symbol of her family heritage. It's a quick read and a thought-provoking story.