I love the foxes and we don't see them very often because they are rather shy and tend to remain in the heavy cover of the woods. Tish, Let me tell you about wildlife. We specifically chose to move way out here to the boondocks of southern Oklahoma (from Fort Worth, Texas,) in 1999, because we wanted to live in a remote, rural area with lots of wildlife. All I can say is that you need to be careful what you wish for. Got wildlife? Oh, yes, we do. Since moving here, we see the following on a regular basis: coyotes, deer, rabbits, possums, armadilloes, skunks, ferrets, foxes, bobcats, ring-tailed cats, raccoons, field mice and voles (cats keep them under control on the acre or two closest to the house), gophers, moles, snakes, lizards, skinks, newts, birds of all kinds, bees, butterflies, bats, dragonflies and damselflies, clearwing hummingbird moths and sphix moths, and so many more than I could ever list. Some of my favorites are the rabbits, glass lizards, dragonflies, hummingbirds, all the other birds, the moths, the deer (most of the time) and the bats. Some of my least favorites are the venomous snakes and the skeeters and chiggers. Oh, and the skunks. Rarely, but once every couple of years or so, we have encounters with the tawny-coated mountain lions and the black panthers. When that happens, it scares me to death. I had a nearby mountain lion roar at me in the darkness one night, and I almost dropped dead of fright right there on the spot. A neighbor who lives about a mile up the road heard the thing roar and came to check on us. My son had an even closer encounter with a black panther in our driveway one night. Scarey. And, even though we have never had to run for our lives to get away from feral pigs, some of our neighbors have. We HAVE had feral pigs living at the back of our property, but they haven't come closer to the house than a few hundred feet. And then there are the white-tail deer, with whom we have a love-hate relationship. Ninety percent of the time, we love them. The ten percent of the time that I find them in the garden devouring whatever crop sounds good to them at the moment, that's the time I don't love them. The next door neighbor whose property is west of us feeds them all winter, then fights to keep them out of his garden the rest of the year. So do we. I can't bear to see them get skinny and starving in the winter. Sometimes in the winter and early spring, we have 6 or 8 out behind the barn eating the deer corn. In the spring, though, I try to run them off.....unless a doe brings her fawn or fawns up to the house to show them off, which they sometimes do. Then, I ooh and ahh over the pretty babies, tell the does to wait, and I get a bucket or two of henscratch (we don't keep deer corn handy in the warm months) and pour it on the ground for the does. While the does eat, they leave the babies on the edge of the woods near my garden, almost as if they expect me to "babysit". It happens about every other year or so and is always a "magical moment". I wouldn't say our little herd of deer are "tame" but they certainly are comfortable around us. (But I am careful to never get too close to them or let them get too close to me.) And, it is only our does who are relaxed and comfortable around us....the occasional buck who is passing through isn't nearly as friendly. My all-time favorite, most incredibly wonderful wildlife experience was a pair of bald eagles in the summer of 2004. I would see them sitting on top of a big old metal pole barn used for hay storage at an old farm where no one lived any longer, although cattle were on the land. That place is about a mile and a half from our place, and I would see the eagles while walking the dogs or jogging. I saw them several times. It was awesome. Twice they flew right over our house, and the friend of ours (who, tragically, died of cancer the following year) who was building our garage/barn saw them too. It was one of those great moments where you see something so special that you can't believe you're seeing it. Since then, there have been other bald and golden eagles overwintering in the area. It IS always special to see them, but nothing is quite as special as that summer to me. The bobcats can be a problem for our pets, so we chase them off when they appear. Last year one of the bobcats got in the habit of sitting in my veggie garden. And, when a human appeared, he really didn't want to leave either. My son chased him off several times by running at him, waving his arms and yelling. The darn thing kept coming back. Finally, DS fired a gun into the ground behind the bobcat, and that cat finally understood he wasn't welcome in the garden. So, if you WANT wildlife, we've got it.....but sometimes more than we really want, need or can feed! Dawn

Happy Father's Day, FOAS and all the other fathers. I'm missing my own father a little today... As for potty training, Amanda trained herself at 16 months, dry at night and not an accident. She was prissy and didn't like to be wet and would bring me a dry diaper so I could change her immediately. Ashley? She could care less, and when she was nearly 3 my mother asked her when she was going to use the potty. Her response? "Never, never, never, never, never." She finally did, because the babysitting bribed her with M&Ms. Annie

Why is everyone so afraid of a spanking. Yes, even if its someone else's kid. I'm not talking about a perfect stranger, but among family members - each relative has their own dynamic with the child, and that relationship should be respected by all parties. I was spanked by uncles/ aunts/ adult cousins when i deserved it.. Unless there's another mitigating factor such as a mental health problem or deficiency - then why so squeamish at the thought of corporal punishment? If you're afraid of the parents disapproving - perhaps they should be more concerned with controlling their child.. They obviously don't care what you think of them or how their child's behavior reflects on them, so why offer them the courtesy of worrying what their thoughts are, if the child's behavior is directly affecting you? Again - as a kid - i was punished by whomever witnessed the act, and there was never any flak because of it... half the time i got it double, once my parents found out what i did, even knowing i was already spanked. When did we, as a society start allowing kids to run the show? My nephew got into a hitting phase, starting around 5. Old enough where he knows better. He became a bully to his siblings, and to many extents, a bully to his parents as well. They offer zero correction. Their idea of parenting is to sit on a couch and yell. there is never any penalty - be it severe or otherwise.. there is simply no set of rules for this child. anyways - he was disciplined verbally by me for something he was doing, and his reaction was to hit me square in the face. I spanked him hard enough for him to feel it, and then placed him in a corner. Whatever dynamic he has with his own parents (he still hits them freely, because they believe in the "buddy system" of parenting - one of the main reasons the rest of my family avoids them like the plague.. their rotten children) anyways - regardless of that dynamic he has with them - he has never even thought to raise his hands to me again. He's still a horrible little devil spawn - and spanking shouldn't be the first response - but i disagree very strongly with the thought that it shouldn't be considered at all. Below the age of empathy - children are trained much like dogs... immediate causality, immediate effect. Sometimes, all it takes is an immediate penalty to end an otherwise troublesome behavior. That penalty sometimes has to be escalated to a spanking. We're not talking beating, straps, broken chairs over the back or cigarette burns... I've heard that analogy so many times, i have to laugh. Its a spanking.. its introducing some discomfort into the child's bottom, and setting a very clear boundary. Spanking works... I wish people weren't so overly fearful of it. Now as for spitting.. depending on the age and the type of "spit" - ie: was it hocking a lugie, or merely blowing a raspberry? If the latter - its disrespectful, but common enough in everything they see be it TV, mocking adult behavior, or cartoons... it should be met with a stern verbal correction. If it was a full on lugie however - sorry but that doesn't fly, ever. If the kid doesn't immediately see the error, and be made to apologize for it, spank away.

Except for the fact the child exist, I must have missed the parts where the child is really doing anything 'wrong' or anything to upset your world so much. Are you sure it is not just your hormones going a bit crazy? Or that you rushed into this marriage too quickly without thinking it through and got pregs on top of it? My DH raised his son by himself (with Gma assisting from afar during work hours) for the first 9ish years. Not all fathers spoil nor play into the mommy abandoned kid routine. You've been married a year, been in counseling with DH a year...was there ever a time in this relationship that you accepted and loved the father and child or was to change and fix everything always your goal? Sorry, not trying to judge or second guess, but to me, that's how you are coming across. You sound as if you were handed this man and his son of which you must shape up to suit your ideas and preferences. Love of a stepson does not come instantly, but is there anything at all you like about this child? How did you interact with the child during your dating his father time? You knew when you signed on that the child was going to be around 24/7, right? Sounds like you need room in our home for yourself. TV, bed and computer all in same room...in a short time add a new baby to that mix and you'll really be pulling your hair out. Most ten year olds don't go off to friends all day, day after day. DH and you jointly need to find things and ways to see the child has things to do that don't cost a lot. Kid needs his own space with his own things that he can go off into that you a bit of 'down time'. He's 10, you don't have to entertain him all day. But I get the feeling it all has much more to do than with just SS. You're broke, you don't get alone time with hubby (gonna be broker and tied up with an infant soon)...what sleep is dad going to get with a crying infant? I think you really need to step back and look at everything (not just the SS) as it does not sound as the child is really the problem for you. Cramped quarters, boring diet selection, no money, no time alone, a child demanding of your time and attention (the baby) would still be all there confronting you even if this child were not. Are you sure the child is your issue in this relationship/family.