The rule of thumb is not "over" 8 feet above the discharge port of the softener. On a 9X48 tank, you're already off the floor over 4'. So 8' ceilings will work. Only going up 4'

Your simplest solution may be to install a sump pit/receptor and sump pump which can discharge the waste water from the softener to your building drain overhead.

The discharge from the softener would need to empty into the sump pit by way of an air gap.

I am not too sure how "simple" it is to put in a sump-n-pump. That's a lot of work if one isn't there already.

Check local codes; an air gap may be required for softener drains.

Andy Christensen, CWS-III

I think that I do need an air gap so installing a plastic container with a sump pump built in would be my best option. I am just not sure that I could install off the ground to the discharge pipe in the ceiling and still have an air gap. This is looking like an expensive adventure considering having to add the pump etc... any other thoughts??
Thanks!

Would you happen to have a utility closet or washer/dryer area on the first floor where you could locate the softener?

No I do not...unfortunately. This is actually right next to the washer which has a hose that goes to the ceiling and the drain line. The washer has enough power to pump the wash water to that height and into the drain.

Our house had a softener in the basement that drained into a trap in the ceiling of the basement.

Check a plumbing supply house for the fittings, could be very inexpensive.

Your washer pumps into a drain with a hard connection at the ceiling?

That's violation #1

The problem with an open drain at the ceiling with a trap and airgap, is once the line plugs downstream, everything comes out the hole including the toilet if downstream of open trap and upstream of clog.

OK I can see that as a problem as well. So this is my solution so tell me what you all think. I will add a utility sink and have a under sink centrifugal direct pump added. Both the laundry and softner can be drained into the sink and the pump will pump it to the ceiling where it will pass through a p-trap and directly into the sewer line. Using the in-line pump will allow me to avoid the venting through the roof as I will not have to use the sump pump method. I of course would also have to install a one way connector. What do you all think about this solution?

This is a link to the pump I am talking about....
http://www.femyers.com/products/sse/sse_musp125.html

Perfect

Or consider one of these because the pump will handle some solids and can be replaced easily

Here is a link that might be useful: Zoeller

if you add a utility tub using one of those Zoeller pumps....it doesn't need venting? I ask because we have no utility tub in our basement, and venting one would not be easy...but adding one of those pumps would be.